


triad

by dinosaur12



Series: Black Clover [6]
Category: Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Basically Julius dies for real, Character Death, and shit goes down
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:00:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 63,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26747725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosaur12/pseuds/dinosaur12
Summary: Julius Novachrono, the 28th Wizard King of the Clover Kingdom, is dead. But the chaos that ensues is not the only thing he leaves behind. In order to preserve his legacy, a new widow prepares to claw her way to the top, despite the huge obstacles in her path. Meanwhile, a brand new threat rears its head, and perhaps the end is inevitable. This is just the first of many long, lonely nights, but she must embrace it and let go of her past if she is to undo the damage that's been done... even if that means forsaking the one thing that makes her human.
Relationships: Julius Novachrono/Reader, past julius novachrono/reader
Series: Black Clover [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771279
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. the swallowtail

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to my fic "Dyad!" This fic is going to be a little confusing if you haven't read "Dyad," but there's some info about it in the first chapter. Enjoy!
> 
> Also, YES, this is an AU where Julius does not get revived.

_"You weren't born because I was born. The only reason I was born... was because I was meant to be yours."_

_How could you say such a thing? You're the greatest man in the world, yet you were mine... I didn't deserve you._

_"They all need you. You won't be alone, I promise."_

_Alone... no, Julius. I'll be alone forever._

_"Just promise me that you'll be alright?"_

_..._

_How is anyone supposed to promise that?_

_But the sun is setting. If I blink, I'll miss that one last look._

_But still..._

"I will become the Wizard King!"

_If the sun is setting anyway... then I will be the one to look away._

_I turn away from him, my robe flaring out, and walk off towards the light, the entire world melting away behind me._

_Alone..._

_But I'm not alone, am I?_

_Thank you, Julius... for everything._

* * *

(two days after the attack)

The silence of this forest is comforting, yet so heavy. Well, maybe it's not the silence. The real thing weighing me down is the events of the past few days, the long nights without sleep, and the massive operation ahead of us. Many parts of the Kingdom were destroyed, lives were lost, and now the survivors feel nothing but fear. 

Ever since I woke up from my possession by a vengeful elf, I've worked tirelessly. Since so many magic knights seemingly turned against us, leaving the others scared and reluctant to act, it wasn't easy reigning them in and making them start the important clean up process. But somehow, they moved, and now piles of rubble have started to be cleared. Even a little progress is still progress, and there's been enough of it that I feel okay leaving the capitol for a short detour. There's something out in this woods that I need to retrieve.

I keep walking between the trees, looking around and scanning the area for signs of mana, a familiar mana. _I should be able to sense it soon... if the magic actually stayed inside. It ended up not working, so maybe it accidentally just released his magic into the environment-_

I halt, as a sensation hits me.

_...never mind. There it is._

Nestled there among the trees, covered with vines, moss, and dirt, but still intact, is a strange magical device. It's large, taller than I am, shaped like a ball with a few divots in it. But it's most striking feature is that it's practically humming with strong magic, resonating as it's stored inside. I finally slow to a stop, staring at the object blankly, having achieved my objective.

_This is it. The Swallowtail._

I'm pretty sure I'm the only person Julius told about the Swallowtail. It's an ancient device used to store mana, and it can be released by force or when a certain condition is met. Julius's magic mark on his forehead would dissolve upon his death, signalling the time he stored to be released. However, something must have gone wrong, because the magic is still inside.

And Julius... is dead.

When I raise my hand to touch the metal surface, laced with years's worth of moss, I realize how much my fingers are trembling. 

_Julius... you feel so close. This magic is so warm..._

My cheeks suddenly feel a spike of coolness. There are tears, now, tears that I've repressed for two days.

_Please..._

My hand splays over the surface. I can feel the time, 13 years worth, he said, living inside. Time that could have saved his life, but somehow refused to. But now, it would have a new purpose. I'm the only other person who can use this magic, so I'll take it.

_Give me the strength to fulfill my promise. Give me the strength to face the future without you._

The mana starts to seep into me, causing my whole body to glow. I squeeze my eyes shut, more tears streaking down my face as the magic envelops me like a warm hug, seeping into my very soul, and combining with the magic I already have within me. I will always carry a shard of Julius's soul within me, but it's not the same as holding his hand, or listening to his voice, or just being held by him.

_It makes more sense to me now... why I loved you so much._

_You made me human, right? Even when I didn't feel like it._

_So, give me the strength to keep being human._

Finally, the glow subsides, leaving just an empty, useless Swallowtail behind. With a sigh, I let my hand slide off of it as I step back. 

_Thirteen years of time..._ I hold my hands up to look at them, wiggling my fingers slightly. _There's a lot I can do with that... hopefully this will continue to come in handy._

Before I start my journey home, I sit down next to the Swallowtail and pull out my lunch, a single sandwich. While I eat, my mind wanders to the monumental task ahead of me, but also to the past that's brought me here.

It was about 8 years ago when I first met Julius. He happened to be passing my town while we were attacked by the Diamond Kingdom, an attack that left my father dead. I didn't know it back then, but my father carried a secret with him: He was a fugitive from a destroyed nation, living out his life here in the Clover Kingdom. He was part of a people called "Simulcians," a mysterious race that had the power to channel huge amounts of mana through marks on their body. Mine appeared on that day, allowing me to reach my magical potential at last. The source of that mana was something called a "Dyad," the result of an ancient spell that amplified the mana of two people by combining their magic and consciousness. It's weird, and very scary, but without it, I would have never gotten this far.

Julius and I... we formed a Dyad of our own. It's almost a sacred thing, the strongest yet most vulnerable a two people can be. Much like love itself... love is a beautiful thing, but now, it does nothing but hurt me.

Because he's gone. Julius will never come back, no matter how much I want him to.

However... there's still three pieces of him left. One is the shard of his soul lodged within mine. That soul is what gave me the ability to use his time magic, and over the years I have managed to make it my own.

And the second...

My hand comes to rest on my stomach, and I manage to smile despite the grief.

_Thank god... I don't know what I would do, if I didn't have this baby..._

It was against all odds that this new life was possible. After forming a Dyad, my body supposedly shut down all it's reproductive functions. And yet, a miracle occurred. It reminds me of years ago, when I was still a member of the Crimson Lions, when I thought I might be pregnant. Julius was overjoyed at the mere possibility of becoming a father, even if it was unexpected. It was his dream, to have a family with me. He would have been so happy now...

The last piece is the promise I made.

_I will become the Wizard King._

I said it in a desperate attempt to get his approval one last time, to see him smile before we parted ways forever. Something to put him at ease before he passed.

_But I still made the promise, and I'm going to keep it! I'll become the Wizard King, Julius, no matter how hard it's going to be._

I finally stand up to leave, brushing myself off and looking back at the Swallowtail one last time. 

... _If only you had done your job._

Despite the baby inside me and the determination to achieve my goal, I can't shake the feeling of emptiness inside me. I would trade everything just to have Julius back at my side.

_But, it's not like that's going to be possible._

So, I turn away, opening my blue grimoire. "Flame magic: Sun God's Leap."

Four pairs of small wings form around my body. I used to just have two pairs, but the elvish mana managed to push this spell further. With a single push, I shoot off the ground, accelerated to a speed near that of sound... just like Julius used to do.

For the time being, I would throw myself into my work, for the sake of this kingdom. But after that...

I'm prepared to do anything it takes to keep my promise.


	2. the will

I was never very good at playing chess. During my childhood, my father tried to teach me, playing on a battered old board that he kept in his tavern. His efforts were in vain, sadly, as I never really got the hang of all the rules and moving parts. The objective was the capture the enemy's king, but there were always so many obstacles and formations to break through before that could be accomplished.

However, today I start the most intricate, complicated game of chess ever played. There will be at most 9 opponents, 9 kings to defeat before I can take the crown for myself. If I choke for even a moment, they will descend and tear me to shreds, and leave me behind as they move on to battle each other. Out of all the players, I'm undoubtedly in the worst starting position. Arguably, I'm even starting out with four enormous handicaps.

One- Julius is dead. In the past, the incumbent Wizard King would choose their successor, based on which mage had accrued the most power and merit. Obviously, though, there is no Wizard King, so he can't pick someone else. Which means that the next level is the committee of magic knights captains. The Wizard King is the leader of the Magic Knights, so it makes sense that they would make the decision. However, that leaves me at a disadvantage, since I won't have any say in the actual decision.

Two- My opponents. For all I know, every magic knights captain will be vying for the position, with the possible exception of William. That's 8 rivals, two of which are royalty. But Nozel and Fuegoleon will probably be at each other's throats the whole time, so that could give me a chance to slip in and steal support from the other captains. 

Three- Me. There's no doubt in my mind that I am not the first person they think of when this decision is brought up. I'm not a captain (currently) and have had a rocky relationship with the Magic Knights in general. I got kicked out, after all, and I predict that Nozel might bring that up.

And four- I'm pregnant. That could be used to disqualify me if all the other options run out. I can imagine the argument now: Being pregnant makes me vulnerable, and could impede my ability to serve. Luckily, only two other people know about my pregnancy (Marx and Owen) and I'm going to keep it that way for now. Owen estimated that I'm only a few weeks along, so I won't be showing until long after the decision is made.

Four handicaps. Four formations to weave my way through. 

_But that's okay... I'm ready._

_Once I capture the crown for myself, everything is going to fall into place. Somehow, I knew the whole time._

_My entire life has been one long game of chess, after all._

"You really need to change clothes, you know," Marx tells me, wrinkling his nose as he looks over my shabby Royal Knights robes. "I know you've been bathing, but that doesn't help the fabric." The two of us are walking into the castle, which has been repaired enough that it's safe to move back in. Thanks to my new use of _Chrono Anastasis,_ much of it looks just as it did before the attack. For the past few days, I've hardly slept or eaten (which Marx and Owen have been pestering me about. I guess I have to take care of the baby now, after all). My time has been entirely taken up by the damage around the city and the plan I'm about to enact. "Your wing of the castle was basically untouched, luckily."

"Yeah, alright." Part of me bristles at the thought of having to return to my closet and pull out my clothes from between Julius's. "Can you grab some clothes for me? I'm heading to the conference room." Yes, it's an excuse to avoid that room, but also the truth.

"The conference room? Why?" Marx frowns over at me, his eyes widening when he realizes that I'm smiling.

_This is my first move._

"I called a meeting with the captains. You can probably guess why."

Marx stops walking, staring at me silently for a moment. Several emotions whirl through his eyes, namely confusion and worry. "...already?"

"What do you mean, _already?"_ I gesture around a little to emphasize the point I'm about to make. "This kingdom is in shambles, do you have any idea how bad it's going to be once they learn Julius is dead? We need to replace him immediately, someone who can hold this mess together until it's over. It's already been too long."

Finally, Marx nods, his expression hardening with resolution. "Right... in that case, there's something I need to get." He steps away, his eyes lingering on me for a moment longer. "Wait for me in the conference room, I'll be there soon."

"Alright, thank you!" I smile and wave cheerfully as he turns to walk away, but I don't miss the lingering concern on his face.

 _He's probably worried about me. Should I really jump into all this_ now? _It might be healthier to take a few days at least to mourn. But it's like I just said: we've wasted enough time already. I have to put my feelings aside for the time being, until the decision has been made. And once things stabilize, then I can mourn. I'll visit you, Julius, once I'm Wizard King._

Until then, I'll throw myself into this task... and avoid the garden.

"What's the meaning of all this? We should be helping the recovery operation."

Yami is the first to speak once I reach the familiar captain's conference room. I can't help but smile a little, his behavior comfortingly familiar, as I shut the door behind me. "I'm sorry to pull you away. But don't worry, I arranged replacements for all of you, so the repairs can go on while we meet."

There's a few hesitant nods of approval as I make my way to the head of the table. This is where Julius used to sit, with me at his side or hovering behind him. But now, I'm the one who pulls the large seat out and sits down, all nine pairs of eyes upon me. After all my years as an advisor, I'd like to think that they've all grown to respect me, but this situation is still nervewracking for sure. "Since I called this meeting, I'll be the one to lead it," I state, trying to not sound too authoritative or anything. "As you all know... Julius is dead. The public is not yet aware of this fact, and this knowledge is limited to the people in this room and a few others."

"Dead..." Charlotte repeats, closing her eyes and shaking her head slightly. Everyone seems to still be shaken by this news, still in denial that someone like Julius was actually defeated. Yami's teeth tighten around his cigarette, and William stares down at the surface of the mahogany table. His eyes are empty, devoid of any light.

"I know it's upsetting... You can imagine how I feel about it." I thread my fingers together as my hands rest on the table, letting a familiar phrase run through my mind.

_Don't think about it._

It's the only thing holding me together right now.

"But the public is going to panic the moment they find out. So, it's best that a new Wizard King is chosen before the announcement is formally made." My eyes scan the faces of the captains, one by one, gauging their reactions. None of them seem to be too wary, just... sad. "We will choose the successor today."

"...T-Today?" Rill's eyes widen a little. He looks tired, and kind of dazed, but this news seems to be snapping him back to reality. He was possessed just as I was, so I guess I can't blame him. "But, are any of us actually ready for this?" He looks around at the other captains, confirming one of my worries. _Right, he said_ us. _He's not thinking of_ me _as a candidate at all. I just happen to be here, too._

"It doesn't matter if you aren't ready, but someone has to do it." I manage to draw their attentions to my voice again. "Without a leader, the Diamond or Spade Kingdoms will pounce on us while we're weak. Not to mention, the longer we go without a Wizard King, the more power gets swept over to our Royalty." I glance over at Fuegoleon and Nozel. "No offense-"

"No, none taken," Fuegoleon assures me, his brow wrinkling as he considers his words.

Surprisingly, Nozel nods along. "There needs to be both a King and a Wizard King. That balance is the pillar of our Kingdom." 

"I'm glad you agree," I give the pair a little smile before I continue. "There's also the problem of this attack... the King and the public will want an official explanation, and we need to make sure that the Magic Knights don't get blamed for this. Yes, they were possessed, but that was in no way their fault."

"... are you sure?" Kaiser, the Purple Orcas captain, finally speaks up. "We let our bodies get taken over, and we hurt so many people-"

"It wouldn't have happened if it weren't for that Devil," I remind him. My elf possessor, Saida, didn't get to come face to face with the Devil that was summoned into our world, but now I understood how it manipulated Patri and so many others into carrying out its will. 

"Doesn't that Black Bulls kid have a Devil as well?" Dorothy pipes up. It's very strange to see her awake today, but that's just another result of all this. "How do we know that one is safe?"

I suck in a breath, since I've been wondering when someone was going to bring this up. "... the short answer is, we don't. But Asta was pivotal in defeating the Devil, so we have to assume that it's an ally for now." _There's some people that won't be so easily convinced, though..._ "Either way, neither Asta nor the Magic Knights are at fault here, but they can't be protected if there's no Wizard King."

My words ring emptily around the room as the others take it in. This situation is dire, we all know it. But, that's why we're here now, right?

I gulp once, feeling my hands shaking a little. I'm extremely nervous about the next few moments, because they're crucial for my cause. _Stay strong... stay sure. Even if the only thing I have are my words, I'll make them my greatest weapons._

"About the successor... I believe-"

The door suddenly swings open, and we look to see Marx run in. "Ah, good, sorry to barge in. I brought your clothes." Marx hurries to my side and sets down a pile of folded clothes on the table, the door finally slamming shut. His eyes meet mine for just a moment, and the look within them confuses me. _Marx... why does it seem like you're up to something?_

I don't get a chance to ask, as he straightens up to look at the captains. "By now I'm sure you know why we're here. Usually, the Wizard King is the one who picks his successor from among the Captains, but this is a different situation." Marx holds something up, and we see that it's a folded sheet of paper, sealed with Julius's personal emblem. "Luckily, Julius thought ahead and planned for this situation."

"What is that?" Yami narrows his eyes at the sight of the paper.

Marx looks down at him. "It's his will. He wrote down his recommendation for all of you to see."

No one moves, no one speaks. My eyes are fixed on that paper as Marx starts to peel away the wax seal. _Julius left this behind? His recommendation?_ My nerves spike with tension as Marx unfolds the paper, revealing a short paragraph of writing on the inside. I instantly recognize the handwriting.

"May I read it out for you?"

Slowly, the other Captains nod, and Marx begins to read.

_"Dear Captains,_

_If you are reading this, it's because my life has been cut short, or I am unable to give you these instructions in person. Whatever the reason, it's good to be prepared, so I went through the trouble of preparing this list. It is short, but I would like you all to seriously consider each of these people as a candidate to replace me. I have no doubt in my mind that any of these four can succeed me, but it will be up to the 9 captains to decide."_

Four? Julius left behind just four recommendations? I glance around at the others' faces, each of them seeming eager to hear the names.

" _Please discuss these options and then vote. Do not stop voting until a candidate has 5 or more votes. These are my four recommendations for the position of 29th Wizard King:_

_Nozel Silva_

_Fuegoleon Vermillion_

_William Vangeance_

_and-"_

Marx doesn't hesitate, but his voice wavers just slightly as he says _my_ name. Well, this makes things a little easier.

_...Julius... thank you._

_"Please carefully consider each one of these candidates. Thank you for everything... Julius Novachrono."_

The melancholy farewell causes everyone to remain silent for a long moment, but then finally, someone speaks up.

"I decline."

William's gaze stays fixed on the table as he raises his hand a little. "Please, don't consider me for this position. Master Julius wrote that before I helped kill him, and I feel like that should disqualify me."

"...Vangeance..." Yami says softly, his hard expression melting just for a second, showing concern for his long-time friend. "Are you sure?"

My heart clenches as I watch William nod slowly, his eyes closing. At one point, not too long ago, no one in this room would have hesitated to choose him to be Wizard King. He leads the strongest squad, has amazing magic, and is undoubtedly a great leader. Part of me, the part that loves him as a friend, urges me to speak up, to try and convince him to reconsider. I never thought William would be the type to give up, and even after everything he's done, I want to give him another chance. He outshines almost everyone in this world, even after everything he did. The truth is, I don't think his part in the situation disqualifies him at all.

But, I don't speak up.

_I'm sorry, William... but it's easier this way._

It's silent for a long time, and I suddenly realize why. Nozel, Fuegoleon, and the others are staring at me pointedly. All except Yami (who is pulling out another cigarette) and William (who is still staring at the table). _What do they want? Did I do something? No, I didn't say anything...._

"Oh... I get it." My heart sinks a little, even though I was expecting this. "You're expecting me to decline as well, right?" Fuegoleon gulps nervously and averts his eyes, electing to stay silent even though his reaction tells me everything I need to know. _He and Nozel want to battle this out together, one on one. They're rivals, and they always expected it to end up that way. I'm an unwanted complication. Fuegoleon and I are friends, but that friendship pales in comparison to the rivalry they've built up._

"I'm sure Lord Julius thought you would be capable," Nozel finally speaks, his eyes cold and emotionless as he stares at me. "But... Fuegoleon and I are here. The two of us have been training for this our whole lives. So, yes... we expect you to decline. You still serve an important role in this kingdom, but do you really think you should be on that list? Especially now?"

_Especially now._

That's right. There's a fifth handicap that I forgot about. My husband is the Wizard King who died. All they see right now, despite my best efforts, is a woman about to start crumbling under grief.

Something in that thought stokes a flame inside me. One of my hands tighten around my palm, forming a fist while I force myself to stay composed. _Listen to him... he's been preparing for this day his whole life. Preparing for his epic battle against Fuegoleon for the crown. I was never part of that dream, yet, here I am._

"You've done so much already. Maybe you should rest."

_A crumbling woman who needs to heal._

_But... I'm not crumbling. I need to prove that image wrong, even if I have to lie to do it. Nozel, you always manage to stay so calm and collected... maybe I need to borrow a page out of your book, to become just as cold and..._

_unfeeling._

_Because, in this scenario, emotions are my weakness. As a woman, and as a widow, that's what they will think. So, I'll turn it all off. For now._

"Do I think... I should be on that list?" I repeat his words slowly, taking them in. "Well... Nozel. I'm sorry to disappoint you."

Nozel and the others bristle slightly as my lips curl into a smile. _Confidence... confidence!_

_Cold, emotionless confidence._

"I don't just _think_ that I should be on this list." I weave my fingers together again, tilting my head down just a bit as I stare at them with a cold, calculated expression of my own, one that clashes with the smile on my face.

_Say it... one way or another, this will seal my fate._

_Make your move for the king._

"I am _positive_ that I should be on that list. Because, out of all of us... I am definitely the most qualified to become the Wizard King."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading so far! I wasn't expecting to write this so soon but I had too many good ideas to not do it. It's going to be a very wild ride, as you could imagine, and I'm really looking forward to writing the power struggle and a different side to MC. See you again soon!


	3. the wager

No one dares speak for the next few moments, the weight of my words finally sinking in slowly but surely. Then, the first person to move is William, who hasn't looked up from the table since he gave up his candidacy. He doesn't say anything, and his face barely betrays any emotion but... interest. But it's the first movement after I made my move, a movement that's opened the door for more.

Several people start talking at once, faltering once they realize that they're all talking over each other before starting up again. The only people not talking are Yami and William. William just stares at me, while Yami just closes his eyes and starts to laugh, adding to the growing dihn.

"You?"

"Ka ka, you really just said that to a room full of captains?"

"Wah! That was just out of left field!"

"Did you and Julius talk about this beforehand?"

"Hold on, hold on! Let me explain myself!"

I hold up a hand and, to my delight, they immediately fall silent. I raise an eyebrow at the weirdly-quick response, then let a smile grow on my lips. _Maybe they're just afraid to offend me because I'm a widow now or something... but I'm going to spin this as hard as I can._ "See? It seems like you all already hold a little bit of respect for me. After all, most of us have been comrades for years and years, right?"

A few of them nod. Charlotte doesn't speak again, but is obviously sizing up my every move. Jack leans back in his chair, tapping his long nails on the arm. Kaiser fiddles with his mustache, distracted, but doesn't take his eyes off me.

"So... how long have you had this in mind?" Fuegoleon is the next one to speak, leaning forward slightly on the table, his one flickering arm of fire reflecting off the shiny wood surface. His eyes are hardened, almost... pained? I hope I didn't actually hurt his feelings or something, but I can't blame him for being shocked by my declaration that I was serious about this. Because, at the end of the day, it wasn't premeditated. Not... technically.

"Not long at all. If you think this was something I've been plotting for a while, I'm sorry to disappoint you." I fold my hands neatly on the table, glad that I seem to be staying calm for now. "It wasn't until... well..." _How do I explain that I talked to Julius in the afterlife? That's going to sound fake..._ So, I decide to lie. "Right before the operation with the Royal Knights. I... I told him that, if something were to happen to him, I would be willing to step up and take his place, and he agreed." That part isn't a complete lie, because he _did_ answer _"good"_ when I told him. "Trust me, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think it was in the Kingdom's best interest."

"The Kingdom's best interest..." Nozel coldly repeats my last phrase. "Care to explain why you think it is?"

"Why yes, no need to be so harsh, Nozel." I keep my smile on my face, remembering how Julius always managed to be kind to people who were pissing him off. Nozel is far from the worst people I've ever met, but his sudden hostility is off-putting, especially since he seems to be dragging Fuegoleon along with him. "I don't doubt that you or Fuegoleon would do great, but this is a tricky situation."

Fuegoleon's eyes narrow even more. "How so?"

"Well, just look around-" I point out the window. "The Kingdom is in shambles. We're more fragmented than ever before, and that makes us vulnerable to attack. I wouldn't be surprised if the Diamond or Spade Kingdoms started an invasion campaign within the next few months. We need someone who can hold this all together, and provide the most important strength we can get... _continuity."_ I can tell I have their attentions now, so I don't let go of my audience while I have this chance.

"On average, the Wizard King rules for 17 years. Julius only got 8, not even half of what's normal. This kind of transition is rough, so the prime candidate to succeed him is someone who worked closely with him, who understands Julius's kingdom better than anyone else. And that person is _me."_

"So? Anyone could do that," Dorothy finally decides to speak up, a little smile on her face. I have a feeling that she's just throwing her opinion into the fray for fun. "We're all part of the upper echelon of power here, don't you think we all have a good understanding?"

"Good point!" I hold up my hands sheepishly. "But that's the thing- Now more than ever, we shouldn't remove a Captain from their post."

"What? Why not? For _continuity?_ " Nozel asks before I can explain further. "The Wizard King has always been promoted from Captain. It's been that way for years."

"Yes, yes, I know! But think about it," I insist. "We need experienced captains in charge of their squads right now, changing anything that important right now could cause problems down the road. We need stability in our squads if we're to have stability in our Kingdom, so removing a Captain would be irresponsible."

"Irresponsible? That's a bit bold of you." Kaiser chuckles, shaking his head. "Even if you're right about this _attack,_ do you think _you'd_ be approved by the King?"

Uh oh. I was afraid they would bring this up. My history with Augustus is... rocky, to say the least. "Are you saying that just because I'm a commoner, Kaiser?"

He shrugs. "No... well, that's definitely a factor to bring up-"

"Well, I _am_ a commoner. But I'm a commoner that has a more intimate understanding of this Kingdom than any of you do." I don't mean for my words to come out so harshly, but he hit a nerve that's pretty close to my heart."

Ka ka, _intimate,_ is that because-"

Jack makes the wise decision to shut up when I shoot him a glare.

"You've all seen my magic, right?" Everyone nods one after the other, all staring at me with the same look in their eyes. For a moment, that look makes me want to shrink down into my chair and disappear under the table.

 _It's like... they're afraid. Not afraid_ of _me, but afraid_ for _me._

"Then you know... I can use Julius's time magic, because of this magic mark on my head." I point to the mark, my voice soft and metered despite the waves of emotion tumbling within me. "That's not the only thing of his I have... because of my _Dyad_ spell, I have a shard of his soul within me. And along with that, his memories. The last part of him left on this earth... I'm the one who carries it."

 _Well... it's not the_ only _thing of his left._ Under the table, I let my hand drift up and ghost over my stomach softly, protectively at the reminder that I carry another shard of his life there.

"I know I'm just a commoner, part foreigner, someone who was even kicked out of the Magic Knights. But despite all that, Julius trusted me with everything he had. So... make me the Wizard King. I'm the one who can lead this Kingdom back to our peak."

There's really not much else I can say. The second phase of my plan will have to commence after the first vote... which, if everything goes according to plan, will not result in my victory. In fact, it won't result in anyone's victory. That's the wager I'm making, and there's just a few moments left before I have to spring back into action.

"Well, if we're ready, we'll vote." Marx finally steps in to keep things in order before more people can challenge me. "I'll conduct the election, since I'm er- impartial." He shoots me a glance, but I know he's just as powerless as me in this situation. "You ready?"

"But first-" I look over to see Nozel pointing at me. "You can't be in here."

My mouth nearly flops open at the order. "C-Captain Nozel, she's a candidate, she has as much right to be here as you-" 

"I don't want anyone other than those casting the votes and you to be in here-" Nozel cuts him off, his voice like ice. It takes everything I have to keep from wincing- his words hurt just like the icicle I just referred to. "I wouldn't want to do anything to corrupt the legitimacy of this decision."

I finally let my displeasure show on my face. Nozel is pushing me to my limit. "Excuse me, bt-"

"Nozel, don't make trouble." We're both interrupted by Fuegoleon, who has closed his eyes, giving in. "I just want to get this over with."

Nozel sniffs in a long breath before nodding. "Fine."

"Yeah, after all, braid boy-" Yami finally speaks up, smirking around his cigarette. "You'll probably have to call her _King_ soon. Now's not the time to burn bridges, hehe."

Everyone stares at him as if he grew a second head. _Oough... that's not a good sign._ "...Y-Yami..." Charlotte whispers, her eyes wide. "You want to vote for her?"

For some reason, that statement from Charlotte hurts more than anything anyone else has said today. Just a few weeks ago, she and her were shopping together for my wedding dress, and I was teasing her about her crush on Yami. But... even she won't give me the benefit of the doubt? _So... the captains are just_ that _hostile to the thought of an outsider becoming Wizard King._ Well, if that's really the case, it makes me want it even more. 

"Why not? She made a good case." Yami leans back in his chair, a shit-eating grin on his face. "It'll be fun, anyway."

I give him a small smile, but Marx butts in before I can say anything else. "Alright, alright, if that's settled, we'll begin the voting." Marx produces a paper and pen before taking a deep breath. "We'll go clockwise around the table... starting with you, Fuegoleon."

I quickly give the table a once-over, seeing what order the voting will happen in. _Ooh! This is good... All the important votes are earlier on..._

"Fuegoleon?"

"I vote for myself."

"Nozel?"

"Also myself."

"Yami?"

"Forehead girl."

"Please use proper names. Dorothy?"

"Nozel!"

"Kaiser?"

"Lord Fuegoleon."

"William?"

"...."

"...William?"

William closes his eyes.

"Abstain."

"Huh? You can't do that!" Yami points at him accusingly. "You're going to mess up our quota!"

" _Quorum,_ " Marx corrects, staring at William with concern. "Captain... are you sure about this?"

William nods. "Yes. Please."

"...alright, then." Marx gulps nervously before marking something down on his paper. "Julius didn't leave instructions behind for this situation... so we'll move on as usual. The winner will still have to get 5 votes. So-" He looks up. "Rill?"

"Ahhhhh.... er..... umm.... Fuegol-"

"Got it. Jack?"

"Fuegoleon, I guess, ka ka."

"And Charlotte."

Charlotte stares at the table as if it's the most interesting thing she's ever seen. "...Nozel."

"Alright then, the results..." Marx holds up the paper, and I turn in my seat to see it a little clearer.

_Alright... I expected at least two votes, but this should be okay..._

One vote for me. Three for Nozel. And 4 for Fuegoleon.

_That was close..._

"So, what now?" Nozel asks, glancing at Fuegoleon, who is smiling a little to himself. _This isn't good. One slip up and he'll get the last vote he needs._

"Now, we discuss it more, and vote again," Marx answers, holding up Julius's will again. "The winner _has_ to get five votes."

"I have an idea!" I blurt out, putting a smile on my face as I suddenly stand up, catching everyone's attention. "Why don't we take a break... let's all go off on our own to figure out our strategies and get votes, hmmm?"

"We don't have that kind of time," Fuegoleon reminds me. "Remember? We're all supposed to be helping with the cleanup-"

"I told you, didn't I? I sent orders to all your squads before I called this meeting," I retort. "They'll be fine for the rest of the day."

"Damn. See? She's on top of it-" Yami chuckles and points at me.

"Right... do you even have that kind of authority, though?" Kaiser asks me. "I mean... they are _our_ squads."

"Of course I do." I give him a smile despite how his words are slowly but surely pissing me off. _So entitled..._ "Who do you think has been holding this place together these past few days? Now-" I back up towards the door, giving them a wave. "I'm going to walk around and think about all this. You know where to find me."

Without another word, I turn and push open the door, and walk off down the hallway, a little smile on my face.

_Good... now..._

"Wait! Hold on!"

I turn to see Marx running up, and a few other Captains leave the room and walk off out of sight. "Look..." He skids to a stop, a worried expression coming onto his face. "I get what you're trying to do here, and honestly, I'm all for it. I think I could work better with you than any of them, after all."

"Oh, how nice of you Marx." I pat him on the shoulder, but to my surprise he winces. "What, is there some other problem? Enlighten me."

"... just... listen to yourself."

_... huh?_

Marx's eyes turn from concerned to just... sad. I recognize this look, it's the same look all the Captains gave me earlier.

"Marx... don't tell me you're afraid for my well-being or something."

"Well, I am!" Marx bursts out. "Listen! I've known you for 8 years! Every time something bad happens, you shut down like this, you avoid the problem... but it's never been this bad. I haven't seen you cry, not once."

"Cry? Marx-" I cross my arms, gritting my teeth a little. 

_Don't think about it don't think about it-_

"Do you think I _should_ go in there and cry? Do you think _that_ will convince them to vote for me?" I demand. "I'm just trying to make the best of a bad situation-"

"Well, you're freaking everyone out."

We both turn to see Yami saunter up. All playfulness is gone from his eyes. "All I'm saying is that you're acting awfully ambitious for someone who's husband just kicked it."

"Yami, you voted for me," I remind him.

"Yeah, because I think you should be the Wizard King. But I _don't_ think you should keep acting like nothing happened." Yami's eyes crinkle with concern. "I don't want to see you isolate yourself from this... it has to hurt, right?"

...

I didn't realize it before, but I've been clenching my fists so tight that my nails start to leave a mark.

"...of course it hurts."

I suck in a deep breath. Then another. And another.

_...J-Julius..._

The moment passes.

"But if I acknowledge it now... I'll fall apart. So... I won't. Not until I've achieved my goal."

_Then, Julius... I'll go visit you. I promise._

I don't let either of them say another word, I just turn and walk away. They both let me go. Once out of sight, I reach up and wipe away a tear that somehow managed to escape the tight, dark prison I confined it in before.

_Keep pushing forward._

I look up, feeling determined once again.

_It's time to get those three crucial votes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wager has been made, but will MC be able to pay it off? Find out next time in Chapter 4: the three votes.


	4. the three votes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA the main character manipulates men into doing what she wants.

_Three votes._

_Three votes, that's all I need._

Yes, the threshold I need to win is actually five votes. But once two of those votes swing my way, the others will follow. Well, maybe I just need two votes now. The one that was withheld last round and one from the pair of rivals.

_Fuegoleon and Nozel... to gain both of their votes, I just need to convince one._

My grandparents once told me that the foundation of every Dyad is a strong relationship. It can be that between a husband and wife; lovers; maybe two best friends. But the most interesting yet volatile Dyads came from those formed from two rivals. Admittedly, it's been a long time since I had a true _rival._ Back when I was a kid, I mentally competed with Horatio. He was strong and powerful, at least for a commoner, and I wanted nothing more than to beat him. But that seems like a lifetime ago. Several lifetimes. I hardly recognize the girl I was back then, as if she's a stranger or just someone I made up in my own head.

The point is... the rivalry between Fuegoleon and Nozel is something I've never fully understood. They push each other to get better in the hopes of one day beating the other to the throne, but the understanding between them was that, at the very least, one of _them_ was worthy of it. And no one else.

Not even me.

So...

_In order to defeat them, I have to destroy it. Their rivalry. I'll crush it with everything I can muster. I'm sorry... but I can't let you stand in my way._

I walk for a long time, formulating my plan, until I make my decision. First, I'll go to Fuegoleon. Then, to Nozel. And finally... to William.

_William..._

My plan to get his vote is not solid. It relies completely on my ability to pull at the well of shame and guilt I know is building inside him. 

_... I'm sorry._

"Hey, Fuego~"

I find Fuegoleon leaning on the edge of a window, staring down at the city below. He turns quickly at the sound of my voice, and his eyes widen slightly as I approach. However, he can't help the small smile that etches itself on his lips. "Oh... hello." He straightens up, letting go of the edge. "If nothing else, you're surprising us all today."

"What? That sounds like an insult," I tease, walking up next to him and looking out as well. The city is busy with repairs, people moving around the streets like little ants. It's a view I'm used to, one I've known for almost 7 years now. "And surprises are good, right?"

Fuegoleon shrugs, his gaze following mine down to the city. "I suppose..." 

We sit there for a long time in silence, just staring out at the Kingdom that one of us will rule by the end of today.

"...Fuegoleon?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember... that time you got turned into a frog?"

Fuegoleon's jaw drops and he makes a surprised noise. It comes out in a choked _CROAK,_ and I can't help but burst out laughing at it. "Wow, I guess old habits die hard!"

"What?! Ah- AHEM!" Fuegoleon blushes as he clears his throat, but the sound of my laugh ensures that his smile stays on his face. "Yes, yes, I remember... although I'd like to forget." He lets out a soft chuckle. "That was so long ago..."

"Yeah, it really was." I shake my head a bit at the memory. "Back before you were captain and I was an advisor. Back when..."

I don't really know what I want to say. Back when things were simple? Before I was disgraced? Back when Julius was alive?

_Back when Julius was alive... that wasn't even a week ago._

"I know today has been a big surprise. I know you never expected me to throw my hat into the ring. I guess I'm sorry about that..." I sigh, closing my eyes, the fleeting joy of the last few moments already ebbing away.

Fuegoleon draws in a heavy breath. He's tired, I can feel it, every bone in his body aching and his mind reeling to just stay awake. He woke up from a coma just a few days ago, after all, and has been on his feet ever since. It must have been scary and confusing to wake up in the midst of such a ferocious battle, but he got everything under control at his base and went on to fight inside the shadow palace. At his core, Fuegoleon is a leader, someone strong who can be looked up to and followed without question. I was proud to call him my comrade and captain.

I know in my heart that he would be a great Wizard King. Maybe it's selfish to take it away from him. But I have to.

_I promised._

"Don't apologize. I can't pretend I'm not surprised... and a little confused." Fuegoleon glances over at me out of the corner of his eye. "You really haven't been planning this for a while?"

"No, not at all! Do I seem prepared?" I shoot him a little grin to keep things light. "But what is it you're confused about? I thought I made a pretty good case for myself-"

"You did, you did!" Fuegoleon, to my surprise, cuts me off. I look up to see him facing me, smiling despite the challenge I've created for him. "It was a very good case, too."

I raise an eyebrow. "Oh? You don't sound like someone _that_ determined to become Wizard King."

Fuegoleon snorts. "No, no, I am... But just because I'm determined, doesn't mean I can't recognize those with worth of your own." I blink, a little confused, as he closes his eyes and smiles. "I think... you would make a fine Wizard King."

He lets the statement hang in the air for a moment before opening his eyes again, his expression turning grim again.

"But, the case you made today... those were just reasons why _we_ should want you to be Wizard King. What I really want to know..."

He narrows his eyes. 

"Why do _you_ want to be Wizard King?"

...

_I made a promise. I want to continue Julius's legacy. I deserve it. I've worked harder than anyone else. Spite. I want to be the first commoner to do it._

_I want to be Wizard King... because I WANT to be Wizard King._

About thirty different reasons flash through my mind at once, blurring and blending into each other all at once. It takes me by surprise, the sudden _animosity_ that wells up in response to the question, like a flame being fed by air... before suddenly sputtering out into nothing.

"...I..."

I feel Fuegoleon's hand on my shoulder, squeezing for a moment. "I meant what I said. I think you would be amazing. You're strong, confident, and people follow you. You're probably more powerful than any of us. And you carry Julius's soul in your own. But..." He lets go. "I don't want you to do this because you think you're expected to. That's too much pressure to bear."

Fuegoleon turns away, starting to walk off down the hallway to leave me alone again.

_... I can't give up..._

I ball up my fist, and my prior conversation with Marx and Yami.

_"I don't think you should keep acting like nothing happened. It has to hurt... right?"_

"... too much to bear?"

He pauses at the sound of my voice, which is wavering dangerously on the edge of a void. Slowly, he turns around to still see me staring out the window. My eyes feel hot and wet, but I don't let even a single drop of emotion escape. Sucking in a shaky breath, I finally look up at him, and I see his facade drop.

_Look at me... see me. See what I want you to see._

"Do you have any idea... how much pain I'm in right now?"

Fuegoleon's eyes widen, his mouth opening as he realizes what he's done. 

He made me cry. Me, the girl who never cries, is letting my eyes tear up in front of him. It's a vulnerability I don't dare show to people, except for those closest to me. Marx, my father, and Julius... I can count the number of people who've seen me cry on one hand. And now, Fuegoleon thinks that he's added himself to that list.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-" 

He steps forward, his non-fire hand reaching out to comfort me, put I pull away before he can touch me. I cover my face, drawing in one long, shallow breath.

"It hurts, Fuegoleon... It's the worst I've ever felt in my life. Everything I ever wanted is gone. Julius..." I gulp thickly, squeezing my eyes shut. "He's gone!"

With each word I speak, I fly closer and closer to the sun. If I fly too far, I'll burn up and fall back down into that dark, deep emptiness.

 _That emptiness... it engulfs this whole world. It_ is _the world without him._

_Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Just speak._

"I'm sorry..." Fuegoleon has no idea what to do, and he's panicking just like I predicted. He steps to my side, then to the other once I turn away again and again, avoiding his gaze. "I-I didn't mean to upset you-"

"It's not you! Don't you get it!" Finally, I let my voice raise, just a little, which silences him again. I let my hands drop to my sides as I look back up at his horrified face. The tears streak down my cheeks now. "I can't make you understand. You and your rivalry... you wouldn't, would you? You don't know what it's like to _lose._ "

Fuegoleon opens his mouth, but he can't possibly have a good response to that. I sniff deliberately, reaching up and starting to wipe off my face. 

"I loved him with everything I had... and now I have to replace him, or this void..."

One of my hands clutches my chest, right over my heart.

_Yes, it does hurt... but I can't think about it._

I close my eyes for a long moment, and when I open them, they're empty.

"The only think I can replace him with is the Kingdom. I want to be Wizard King, because I want to love something like that again."

The hand outreached to me finally falls, and forms a fist by Fuegoleon's side.

_He's making his decision._

The first tightens.

_Fuegoleon..._

And finally, he lets it relax. His shoulders slump.

He's been defeated. A few tears, a crying friend... and a sincere statement. That's all it took.

_You revealed your own weakness. You let yourself consider another option, other than yourself and Nozel. You considered me. And once I came up with my reason..._

_You can't refuse this last request from a friend, can you?_

_I'm sorry._

"...I see."

Fuegoleon's voice is soft. 

"I... I'll see you back in the conference room. Let me know if you need anything."

"...thank you."

I keep staring at the ground until his footsteps fade out of earshot, and then finally look up at the empty hallway. I reach up and wipe away the lingering moisture, wondering how much of it was real.

_Wow... I really am the worst, aren't I?_

For a brief moment, I started to fall. The emptiness threatened to consume me. I know it's inevitable at this point, and before long I'll have to get it out of my system, but I don't have that luxury right now. I just have to tough it out until this day is over. 

On that subject, there's just one more person to see, now that I basically have Fuegoleon wrapped around my finger. With that one conversation, I'm certain that I've secured two votes. Fuegoleon votes first, and once Nozel sees that his rival has given up...

_It's mine. But not yet._

_William._

I find him standing by himself outside the conference room. He looks up once he hears my footsteps, giving me a little smile. "...hello."

"Hey." I give him a smile before leaning on the wall next to him. "Are you waiting for everyone to come back?"

"Yeah." He nods slowly, his gaze meeting mine for just a moment before dropping to the ground. _Ah. This is going to be hard._ It's no secret that, despite what I told him on the night of the attack, William is drowning in guilt. He almost single-handedly destroyed the kingdom, but against me, personally... he committed a crime he'll never forgive himself for.

It's that guilt that I'm betting on now.

"I guess I have the easiest decision... I'm abstaining again." William's eyes close, their lavender shades hidden from my view.

His eyes...

_Julius had eyes just like that, too._

"I don't want you to feel like this is a vote against you, though," William turns to me, suddenly very concerned about this point, almost frantic. "I mean- I just feel like-" He starts to stumble. "I think you would be great-" _Gee, like I haven't heard that before!_ "-I just..."

For a brief moment, William looks like he's about to cry.

"I think I gave up my right to vote... when I let Patri kill Julius."

He winces at the sound of his own words, but they bounce right off my skin.

_Oh... oh William..._

Just like Fuegoleon, William has revealed his weakness.

"That's not true."

With every ounce of strength I have, I extinguish anything warm I feel towards this man.

_He just made a mistake. Don't do it, please... It wasn't his fault._

It's just for a moment... but the light extinguishes.

"William..."

His eyes meet mine. There's a flash of fear as he beholds the cold emptiness within them.

"You gave up your right to be silent when you let Patri kill Julius."

Confusion mixes with the fear. "...huh-"

"William. I told you before-" I hold up my hand and point at him accusingly.

"If you want me to forgive you, you'll need to help me. And right now..."

Despite the bitter regret that taints each word I say to my old friend, I smile.

"I need your vote. So... vote for me."

_Vote for me._

I say it like I normally would, as if I was just asking a favor of a good friend. Which, in the end, that's all I'm doing. But there's a weight stringed against my words, a weight that drags behind both William and I. If he knows what's going on here, he can't do anything to resist. Because, I have the one thing he wants most: my forgiveness. He doesn't know that I've already given it to him. I'm not stupid- I know that there were otherworldly forces at work, beyond even Patri's command. Patri's hands held the sword, but the Devil was the one who struck down Julius in the end. However...

It doesn't matter if I've already forgiven William; He has no idea if I have. So I'll withhold it until he does what I want.

"I'm going inside... see you soon, William."

His lavender eyes follow me silently as I walk away, the door slamming closed behind me.

_And now... it's time to see if my bet pays off._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final vote occurs and MC finds herself at the center of a trial once again... but this time, she has something to say. Next time, chapter 5: the payoff.


	5. the payoff

_It's dark..._

_I blink my eyes and realize that there_ is _light, but it's blocked out, like the sun blocked by the moon during an eclipse. The darkness is cold, and empty, just like the growing void inside me._

The sun... I need it... I need him...

_Squinting my eyes, I finally see what's blocking the sun: It's a human silhouette, facing away towards the light. Their body is amorphous, hidden by a flowing robe and their shoulders garnished with a thick, furry trim. The sight sends a chill through my body, stoking the flames of the most dangerous thing I could possess right now:_

_hope._

"...Julius?"

 _Despite the fact that this silent, still person does not turn around at the sound of my voice, I move. I move like a moth drawn to flames, like a magnet drawn to it's opposite. For the first time in days, the fire of hope in my belly bursts to life at the mere_ chance _of being reunited with him... the north to my south, the sun to my moon, the day to my night-_

 _There's nothing more that I want than to see him again. To feel..._ whole _again._

"Julius!"

_I grab his shoulder, but I'm not prepared for what I see when he turns around. Because- well- it's not him. It's..._

"...me?"

_Her face is just barely tinted by the dying light behind her. She looks sad... no, that's not it, is it? There's a weight in her eyes that hits me harder than I thought it would, a weight of things that I have not yet lived to see. There's guilt, confusion, grief, frustration..._

_Despite the look in her eyes, she's smiling._ I'm _smiling. The dissonance contained in her expression shocks me to my core, and I stumble back._

This... this is...

The image is immediately dashed from my mind as a door creaks and I jump slightly in my chair. _Yikes! I really just dozed off..._ I blink my eyes a few times to banish the groggy feeling within them, and see that no one has returned to the meeting room yet. I just saw William outside, so he must be avoiding me for a little while, so who-

"What did you tell him?"

I quickly turn to my right to see Nozel standing there, staring down at me. The look in his eyes isn't his usual, cold stare... it's something almost _worse._ As soon as my eyes land on him, I feel it; the horrible, oppressive pressure that permeates the air around him, his mana and emotions mixing into something terrifying. Even I'm caught off guard by it this time, and it takes everything I have to keep a straight face and not slip down to hide under the table. 

He's mad. _Really_ fucking mad. And for the first time, it's truly directed at me.

"...tell who?"

Despite the whirlwind of cold emotion around him, Nozel's rage is only betrayed by a slight twitch of his face. "You know _who._ Now-" He sucks in a break through his nose. "Care to explain why Fuegoleon just came and told me he's voting for _you?"_

_Oh shit..._

"Huh? He is?" I feign ignorance and bat my eyelashes a few times innocently. "Well, I can't blame him-"

"Enough! What did you say to him?!" For the first time, Nozel actually raises his voice. I almost wince, and my hands grip the sides of my chair a little tighter. _Jeez, I didn't mean for him to find out until the actual vote. I knew he might get angry about it, but right now-_ "This is why you called the recess, right? You wanted a chance to get him alone and- and-"

Finally, I decide to respond. "What exactly do you think I did to him, Nozel?" I ask, fighting to keep my voice from wavering. Today has been a rollercoaster of emotions, and it doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon. "He was the one who asked me why I wanted to be Wizard King... all I did was answer his question, and I guess it was enough to change his mind." An extreme simplification of our conversation, but true nonetheless. 

Nozel stares at me suspiciously, his jaw visibly tightening for just a moment. "...I can't tell if you're lying or not. I've never been able to." He finally closes his eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I can't believe this, though... just a few words, and you swayed him? Fuegoleon?"

"What? You don't believe me? Why didn't you just ask him?" I can't help but let my mouth twitch into a momentary smile.

"I did." Nozel averts his eyes from my face at the brief expression. "But he wouldn't tell me. Maybe he was-"

"Ashamed?" I let out a breath of laughter. "Do you really think I seduced him, Nozel? Fuegoleon's like a stone wall sometimes... he's not nearly as in touch with his romantic side, like..."

My words unexpectedly drop off at the realization of what I was about to say.

_... don't think about it..._

"That wasn't my plan." I clear my throat to continue. "I'm not the type to seduce someone... you know that, don't you, Nozel?"

"...I do."

His aura fades just a little bit. It slips.

We're both thinking of it now. The trial. Where my honor and title was stripped away, all because of a false accusation and an unjust world. It's my biggest regret, something that took _years_ to crawl back from. But finally, here I am, with my title back, and the crown within my grasp. Nozel was there, at my trial... and when it mattered most, he defended me.

"Back then... you said I earned your respect, because I earned Fuegoleon's respect. You defended me when the whole world was ready to strike me down."

His brow furrows beneath his braid at the memory. "...I remember." His expression softens incrementally until he almost looks sad. "I did say that... but-"

"Then you know what you have to do today, right?"

 _Because, in the end, Nozel's reason for becoming Wizard King isn't to "become Wizard King." His reason_ was _Fuegoleon. To fight, to compete, to find fulfillment in the ending, whatever it might be..._

_But now, the foundation is gone. Fuegoleon gave up._

_So..._

"Nozel."

He finally looks up to see me on my feet, my eyes staring resolutely into his.

"I'm the one who stood closest to Julius, so I'll be the one to take his place today."

_He's slipping... further and further..._

His cold aura is all but gone.

"Give up on your dream, and pledge yourself to me.

Nozel doesn't give me an answer. His eyes linger on mine for just a moment longer, the chill from his anger melting away. After that long, lingering look, he turns away, his robe sweeping around, and disappears through the door to leave me alone once again.

* * *

"Fuegoleon?"

As expected, my name leaves his lips. There's an audible yet soft gasp from some of the other captains, all turning to stare at him, stunned.

"L-Lord Fuegoleon-" Kaiser stutters, his voice weakened. "You can't possibly-"

"I've made my choice!" Fuegoleon doesn't dare look up from the surface of the table before him, almost looking like he's in pain. I can't even offer him a comforting smile; he won't look into my eyes. "Move on."

_...I'm sorry. It hurts, I know... but I promise-_

My hand forms a fist where it rests on my knee. 

_I won't let any of you down!_

The muttering finally stops, and Marx takes a deep breath before marking down the vote and moving on. "...Nozel?"

He doesn't answer right away. Not even close to _right away._ He just... sits there, and thinks, staring blankly at the table. 

Nobody dares to move. Nobody dares to _breathe_ as the Eagle finally reaches the end of his thoughts.

"...I... I will trust you..."

Nozel's words barely pass his lips, and for a moment, I no longer see the royal, proud man that stood before me for years and years. 

_At long last... Nozel... I've defeated you._

"I'll trust you with our future." His eyes move, just a little, to glance at me one last time. "You have my vote."

The others don't react this time, as the full weight of this action sinks in slowly but surely.

And then...

"Yami."

"Voting for Forehead girl. Again."

"Please! Proper names!!!" Marx sighs and writes down the selection, his hands shaking slightly as he does so. I glance up at him and offer him a little smile, which he thankfully reciprocates, and the strength returns to his voice as he speaks again. "Dorothy?"

Dorothy shakes her head for just a second, but then smiles brightly. "Well, my candidate just jumped ship, I better do so as well!" She winks over at me. "You're a bit young to be Wizard King, don't you think?"

"Huh? I'm twenty-six!"

"OH! Nearly as old as I am..." Dorothy can't help but let out a giggle. "Fine then. You have my vote."

I grin back at her before Marx moves on. "Kaiser?"

"I haven't changed my mind... Fuegoleon." Kaiser crosses his arms, frowning at the table. _Eek... he didn't get swayed, then... I have four votes now!_ My heart starts to beat more violently in my chest as I start to realize how _close_ I am. _That means... my last bet..._

I turn to look at William as all eyes turn to him.

"...I'll vote for you as well."

Despite his being my fifth vote, officially putting me over the threshold Julius spelled out in his will, I can't feel any joy. 

_William..._

I tricked him. I lied. I've already forgiven him, but I can't _give_ it to him until I know I won't need to use it any more. Like today... because of him, my goal has been achieved.

_I'm sorry._

And finally, even though there's no reason to, Marx moves through the rest of the votes. The only other person to vote for Fuegoleon is Rill, who I think is just confused and unsure of what to do, but all the others vote for me. "The final results..." Marx quickly tallies them up, then turns the paper for us all to see.

"Nozel: 0. Fuegoleon: 2. Which means..."

Seven votes. More than enough. 

I don't expect there to be a happy reaction, but to my surprise, the captains all let out a collective sigh of relief. I blink, a little confused, then look at Fuegoleon when he says my name. He's smiling a little, even though he still looks a bit disappointed. "Well... I'm glad it's over. Thank you for organizing this... your majesty."

_Your majesty._

The gravity of the situation finally registers, and I can't help but let my eyes widen as, one after another, the captains start talking, offering me comforting smiles, _proud_ smiles, relieved smiles. Even Kaiser and Rill, the ones who still voted against me and look a bit sheepish, are smiling. "I'm sure you're going to be great... you're right, we all respect you a great deal," the older man tells me with a smile beneath his extravagant mustache. "You were one of the people Lord Julius picked, after all."

"I agree." Even Nozel looks... content. "He kept you by his side for a reason... you were the person who stood closest to him. Perhaps this _is_ where you belong."

I feel my heart swell slightly at the praise, their smiles and words encouraging me further, the truth that _this is real_ singing through it all.

_I..._

"I promise..."

I stand up, glancing at Marx one last time. He offers me an encouraging smile, spurring me on with confidence.

"I'll be the best you could ever ask for."

Here I am, a commoner, a _foreigner,_ a girl who's journey far outstretches the length of her life, standing before them as their leader. These nine people, who I hold in the highest echelons of respect, have _chosen_ me. Maybe they needed a push in the right direction, but in the end...

 _I stand here... in_ his _shoes._

"Thank you... together, we will-"

Before I can finish my sentence, the door bursts open and two people run in. I instantly recognize them.

"What the Hell are you two doing here?!?" Yami roars, his seat scraping slightly as he jumps to his feet. "Noelle- Finral- can't you see we're in the middle of an important meeting?!"

Sure enough, Noelle and Finral from the Black Bulls both stand there, out of breath. Noelle's eyes dart around, widening slightly when she realizes that something important is going on. Her eyes linger on me, a flicker of understanding within them. She's one of the few people who know that Julius is dead, since she was there outside the Shadow Palace as the reincarnation curse was dispelled, so she might have realized why we were gathered here.

"I'm sorry, Captain! But it's an emergency!" Finral frantically explains. "You see- we were in town handing out food, and then someone from the Parliament came by and took Asta and Nero away for an interview! They haven't come back!"

 _Parliament!?_ That catches everyone's attentions, and Yami's eyes widen. There's been rumblings over the past few days about some sort of retaliation against the "perpetrators" of the whole catastrophe, even though the Devil is dead already. This would either be aimed against Asta or the possessed knights, the latter of which included myself, but I assumed I would have time to settle into my role as Wizard King before any action was taken. Apparently I assumed wrong.

"Damnatio's probably behind this," Fuegoleon speaks up. "He would be the one to enact such a plan so quickly... Asta and- Nero are probably being held in prison or at the Parliament Tower."

Yami grits his teeth before turning towards the door. "That's all I need to hear, I'm going!"

"Wait! You can't just rush in there without a plan!" I quickly sidestep to block his path.

"Watch me!"

"Yami!" I scold, giving him a little glare which actually makes him pause for a moment. "They want to use Asta as a scapegoat because of his possessed Grimoire, right?" It's a quick and easy way to shift the blame and put the whole affair behind us, but it could also be a valuable tool... at least something that could extend Asta's life, as well as unearth some valuable information. "Is your squad nearby?"

Yami glances at Finral and Noelle, who give him a nod. "Alright... can you cause a scene and stall for time at the tower?"

At my words, Yami can't help but smirk. "You know I can, Queenie. Come on, you too!"

I roll my eyes at the nickname, watching as he and the others run off to find the rest of their squad. "Right... then the rest of you are dismissed. Except you two-" I turn and point at Fuegoleon and Nozel.

"Hmm? Why us?" Nozel asks curiously.

"You two are royals... we had to hide Julius's death from Augustus for a few days, so he wouldn't start involving ourselves in our affairs. But now that our decision has been made, he's going to find out... in just a couple minutes, actually. I'm going to need both of you to back me up."

"...I see. Right." Fuegoleon gives me a nod, standing up from his chair with Nozel as the others start to leave.

"Marx, get me a pen and some paper. Also, I need to change into some new clothes... can you write something down for me?"

I leave my instructions with the three of them before running to the next room, an empty sitting room, and finally stripping off my dirty Royal Knights robes. I wrinkle my nose a bit, since the last few days were sweaty and dirty, the long hours rubbing off onto the fabric. I start to fold them up to leave somewhere, but my hand brushes up against something and I freeze.

It's a green stain, streaked over where my knee was. A grass stain. I remember how I got it; the night before the operation, the night before everything went wrong, Julius and I sparred one last time, and I ended up on top of him, both knees mashed into the grass. We kissed... and laughed...

I wipe away the tears before they even appear.

_Don't think about it._

Robotically, I pull on the new clothes Marx fetched for me. Tights, flats, a black shirt with fringe at the wrists and neck. The dress he picked out is similar to my usual choice, but a lot more casual, secured by a sash much like a bathrobe. It's comfy... very comfy. I look good in it, too, when I reach the mirror and start to brush my hair into a presentable style. _Saida, the elf... I'm glad she didn't throw these away._ I let one of my fingertips brush against the gold clover earrings that I always keep in my ears. Julius gave them to me, years ago, as a Three-Leaf-Day present.

"Hello? Oh, you're ready."

I turn to see Marx walk in and close the door behind me before turning to assess my appearance. "That's better! Those robes were starting to get a little stinky."

"Don't use the word _stinky,_ please!" I tease, letting him approach me. "Is everything ready?"

"Yeah... the other two are waiting for you outside. But... first..." Marx draws in a stiff breath, as if he's holding back tears. "This is your debut after all... so you should wear this."

He finally holds up what he was carrying. It's Julius's gold chain, and hanging from it are his two medallions. An item I saw him wear almost every single day, like it was an extension of his body, of _who he was._

"A physical reminder of your new status... we'll have a formal coronation later, of course, but for now, this will have to do." 

Slowly, I nod, ignoring the sudden swell of pure... feeling that just appeared inside me at the mere sight of the chain. I remember so clearly how it felt. Whenever he hugged me tight, and I buried my face into the white fur of his robe, I could feel the metal cold against my skin. And sometimes, when he was getting undressed for the night, he would take it and put in on me for fun. _"Look at you, a little Wizard King~"_

_Look at me now, Julius... I guess this is appropriate. I'm glad to have another thing to remember you by._

Slowly, I bend over slightly, and Marx takes the cue. With one movement, he puts the chain around my neck and lets go, letting it hang down on my chest. I straighten up, a little surprised at how _heavy_ it feels today.

_This weight... the weight I've taken on my own back. Will I be able to carry it alone?_

When I look back at Marx, my eyes widen a bit when I see he's crying, not even resisting the tears that streak down his cheeks. 

"I-I'm sorry-" Marx reaches up to wipe his face. "I just... always thought this would be a _happy_ day. The day Julius stepped down and let you take his place. I wanted it to happen like that... not like... l-like this-"

He's cut off as I grab him into a tight hug, holding my best friend as close as I can. Marx buries his face in my shoulder and lets out a sob, his hands balling up the fabric of the back of my dress.

"It's okay... Marx..."

I finally pull back to look him in the eye, and he looks a bit shocked that I'm still holding it together.

_Barely._

"Today... _will_ be a happy day. Maybe not now, maybe not for years. But one day, we'll look back on it and laugh. I promise."

Finally, Marx's tears slow, and he cracks a smile as he gives my shoulder a squeeze.

"Promise."

Minutes later, Fuegoleon summons the Fire Spirit, Salamander, and we zoom off towards the Parliament Tower. "Look, Yami's already there!"

"What on earth is that?" I frown a bit at the sight of some large, dark structure looming by the broken wall of the tower. It looks almost like the Black Bull's base, but I can't be sure. "Come on!" Fuegoleon steers his spirit down through the caved-in wall, and I spot Yami, standing in the middle of the room, his sword poised to strike a tall, dark haired man wearing an unattractive smock. _Damnatio! Yami, don't kill him!_

_"Flame Magic: Blazing Spear!"_

Immediately, two crackling rods of fire appear in my hands, and I jump off of Salamander. With just a muted cry, I fall gracefully to the floor, just in time to block Yami's blow. With a _whoosh_ of wind, Nozel and Fuegoleon land behind me, separating Damnatio from any danger.

"That was close... you almost made this situation much worse!" I mutter to Yami, who just rolls his eyes and sheathes this sword.

"Took you long enough."

"That's Fuegoleon and Nozel! What are they doing here? And-"

Oh, That voice. I turn to look up at the surrounding balconies, where various nobles and royals are sitting to watch the trial. Right in the biggest box is none other than King Augustus Kira the 13th, also known as the bane of my existence. He's jumped out of his seat and is glaring down at us from over the banister. "What is the meaning of this!? And what are _you_ doing here?"

"Sorry to burst in so suddenly! We needed to set the record straight!" I call back, summoning any ounce of confidence and poise within my body. _This is okay... I can do this! I have the power now... I can do anything I want!_ "Fuegoleon, the scroll."

Fuegoleon nods and quickly opens the paper we carried here. "By order of the Wizard King, Asta is to be turned back over to the Black Bulls, who will be tasked with researching the Devils in this world, just like the Devil who was the center of this most recent attack."

Angry and confused mutters suddenly fill the hall, and Damnatio's eyes widen a bit. "The Wizard King?"

"Where is he?! Of course Julius would pull something like this! You!" Augustus points down at me accusingly with a fat finger. "Where's your husband!"

_Husband..._

It occurs to me that, years ago, in this very spot, Augustus stripped me of everything I had. My honor, my title, everything...

Julius came in just in time to save me. I was ready to accept my fate, because I thought that everything was ruined.

_But it wasn't._

I felt less than human on that day. I was a traitor. I was... sterile. I could never give Julius the family I wanted. But, through some cruel twist of fate...

 _I_ am _human. The life inside of me proves it. And today, I stand in the same spot I stood in my darkest hour. But now..._

"Julius is dead."

Now _that_ silences everyone. Augustus's eyes widen at the response he _never_ expected to hear. His miserable lips flap once, twice, and a third time, never managing to form words.

"Dead..." Damnatio is the one who speaks, prompting whispers all around the tower. "Then... who authorized this order?"

"I did."

I give him one last smile before looking back at the King, high above me, shock and anger starting to cloud his eyes. 

"I am the 29th Wizard King!"


	6. the coronation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's stuff I'm really excited to write and stuff that I'm not so excited to write so bear with me, there might be some time skips/ me skipping over canon stuff that I don't deem important to this story.

_"I am the 29th Wizard King!"_

The next few seconds are nothing but pure chaos. People all around the room start yelling and talking, pointing, spitting, every last one of them completely shocked by the words that just left my mouth. Not one of them wants to believe it, that _I_ of all people was the one chosen for this job. But I didn't just get Julius's endorsement, this was a fair vote after all.

Surprisingly, the one who stays silent up in his box is none other than Augustus. His mouth hangs open by the hinge, yes, his eyes wide and bloodshot, but he says nothing as he stares down at my gleefully smirking face. 

"SILENCE!"

The crowd finally slows their argument to a stop as Fuegoleon finally raises his voice above its roar, a commanding expression on his face. _Good! I'm glad I brought him along..._ Like I said before, the magic knights captains decided to vote for me, for one reason or another, and that included two members of royalty. If this crowd and Augustus is going to listen to anyone, it's going to be Fuegoleon.

"There's no use protesting this. We decided she was the most qualified at this time," Fuegoleon continues, his fiery glare sweeping from face to face. Nozel remains silent, but his own eyes leave an icy track in his comrade's wake. "She _is_ the Wizard King, and she wishes to delay judgement on Asta until we gather more information about the devils." His eyes finally land on their final target: Augustus. "Do you consent?"

Augustus stays silent, not even tearing away from me to look at the man addressing him. Seeing him like this, in total complete shock, with a hint of _humiliation_ on his face...

It's something I've always wanted to see.

"Sir? I believe Lord Fuegoleon asked you a questions."

Augustus's trace finally snaps as I open my mouth to speak again. "If you have any objections... you should voice them now, while I'm still in a good mood."

Maybe that phrase was a bit threatening, but Augustus doesn't fight me. At least not this time. Despite the tumultuous years between us, the buckets of bad blood we've spilt, Augustus shakes his head, _afraid_ to do anything but obey.

"Fine. You get your way this time."

And so, my first act as Wizard King is completed. With a satisfied smile, I finally turn to see Asta and the new girl, Nero, standing there in silence. Asta's eyes are wide, basically vibrating in their sockets from the force of what he just witnessed. "Are you two alright?"

The girl nods, but the words don't register for Asta right away. Finally, he too nods. "You... you're really the Wizard King now?"

I glance behind him at the other Black Bulls, and I realize that, when they came to this place today, they didn't expect to hear that Julius was dead. Varying degrees of shock and sadness adorn their faces, all of them lost for words.

 _... The whole world is going to find out today. Julius is dead._ I clench my fist beneath my cape. _But I won't let them despair!_

_I'll take all the despair in the world... and carry it myself._

"I am."

I reach forward, my hand briefly ruffling his hair as I walk past him towards the exit. The brief touch feels almost... motherly.

"Don't worry, Asta... you'll get your chance. But for now-" I glance back with a smile to see him and the others watching me go. "Investigate the Devils, and let me know everything you discover. We'll do our best to protect this Kingdom... together."

And with that, I turn and walk off, Fuegoleon and Nozel at my side, and the whole world's eyes piercing into my back.

* * *

"... so, we'll have the coronation as soon as possible. Probably two days from now. I'll get you something proper to wear, since I'm sure you'll be extremely busy until then." 

"Mhmm."

"I'll keep cleaning up that old office, it's a shame that Julius's got destroyed in the fight. But at least your room is still intact."

"Mhmm."

Our paired steps finally shuffle to a stop in front of my bedroom door. It's a sight both familiar and foreign to me; a place where I've spent much of my life, yet after being away for a week, those times feel like a distant memory. I start to reach out towards the doorknob, but Marx stops me with a question.

"Will you be... alright by yourself?"

_By yourself._

"Marx." I turn to see his worn out face, a slightly teasing expression on mine. "If you want to cuddle, just say so."

He immediately goes beet red. "NO!" he objects, shaking his head and staggering back. "Why you- fine! I'm glad you're feeling okay, then. I was asking for _you,_ not me!" _Hmm... I bet he's only partially telling the truth._ "Goodnight. You know how to find me if you need anything."

"Right, thank you, Marx."

I watch him walk off down the hall, his shoulders slumping as he moves out of sight. He's so tired, it weighs down on every one of his joints. That poor man... I know he's lost nearly as much as me, yet he carries on his duties for my sake. Without him, I would be lost, I know that much. With a sigh, I finally turn the handle of my door and walk into the bedroom that now belongs entirely to me. 

Lyra and I have always shared a room, ever since I was old enough to have my own bed. It accustomed me to the soft sounds of another person sleeping nearby. The first time I ever got my own room was when I moved away to the capital and worked in an inn for a couple months. However, that room was so tiny, you could barely call it a room, a more accurate word would be "cupboard." I didn't mind, because it was just temporary. After that, I shared a room at the Crimson Lion Base with a girl named Alana. I haven't heard much about her for a while- I hope she's alright. And then, when I was promoted, I got my own room, although it wasn't really my _own..._ Julius invited himself over night after night, hardly giving me a moment to myself. Which I didn't mind... I didn't want to be by myself, anyway.

_Myself... by myself..._

The room is the exact same as I left it the morning of the Royal Knights mission. The bed is still unmade, a cold, half-filled cup of coffee sits sadly on the table by the window. It's so familiar, so ordinary, I could almost convince myself that nothing has changed. I'll go to bed, and tomorrow I'll be awakened by a shower of annoying kisses on my face, just like every morning before.

_By... myself..._

I hum idly to myself as I strip down, carefully placing the chain I was wearing over the back of a chair. Until I get an official outfit, that'll have to do as a badge of my status. The rest of my clothes get piled unceremoniously on the floor, I'll put them out for the laundry people tomorrow. _Everything seems to be in the same place as it was before, so my pajamas are probably still in the closet._ I walk over, my bare feet silent on the carpet, and draw back the door to start looking. However, I freeze in place as soon as I see what's inside.

_That... that's..._

It's that robe. _His_ robe. I skipped the funeral, making the excuse that I was "too busy." It wasn't going to be much of a funeral anyway. HQ agreed that it was best to lay Julius to rest somewhere out of the way so we still had time for damage control, but they must have buried him in some other outfit. Because, this...

_Julius..._

I reach out, my hand trembling uncontrollably, and finally let my fingers brush against the fabric. It's soft, like the pelt of a newborn animal, like the first rays of sun each day, or perhaps the last. My hand pushes further, my palm slipping through the fur, the familiar feelings finally grounding me in this horrible reality that I'm trapped within.

_Today... I did nothing but distract myself. More than just one day, really..._

I consumed myself with my goal, ignoring the grief looming over me, and ignoring the growing void within me.

_Julius... I'm the Wizard King now._

I didn't expect an answer, but the silence is still deafening.

_I did it... I- I-_

My vision is starting to become blurry.

_I don't feel any better, though..._

Slowly, my other hand comes up to touch it as well. The ghost of a feeling accompanies it, the memory of burying myself into this robe, into his warm, strong embrace, the safety of that moment-

A moment I'll never experience again.

All at once, I stop resisting. The void grows rapidly, consuming my body all at once. It searches for that soul, _his_ soul, and finds nothing. Nothing but pure, unadulterated emptiness.

And all at once, I fall down into it. My knees buckle as a strangled shriek leaves my throat. It's an unearthly sound, something inhuman, with no emotion behind it. It's just a sound, the sound of absolute nothingness. The hanger the robe hangs on snaps as I drag it down with me, and it falls into a crumpled pile when I hit the ground, my body curling into the soft yet cold shreds of what's left of my broken life. Tears sting my eyes, panic and grief consuming me, piercing into my skin like a million little needles. I can't think, I can't form a coherent _feeling,_ all that runs through my mind are two words, repeated over and over until my mind rings with pain.

_He's gone._

All that's left is me, and this robe, and the uncarryable burden I've taken on.

What started as a desperate promise, _I will become the Wizard King,_ turned into a distraction, a goal I reached for because of the _tiniest fraction of a chance_ that it would make me feel better. But it didn't- and in the end, I only made that promise so I could see Julius smile one last time. 

But now, I let my delusion pull me this far. I manipulated Fuegoleon. I hurt William. And now, I'm here at the top, in a position that I am woefully unprepared to carry out.

Maybe I could do it... if Julius was here.

_Julius... why..._

My sobbing dies down after a long time, but I can't summon the strength to move from where I lay.

_why would you leave me alone in this world?_

His words to me still echo in my ears, a melody that's fading at a frighteningly fast rate.

_"I love you more than I love our Kingdom."_

_Then... why..._

I shift sightly, burying my red, tear-stained face into the fur once again. I inhale, my lungs barely strong enough to do so, and a sudden wave of calm washes over me like a gentle wave.

_It... it smells like him, still..._

Maybe I didn't notice what he smelled like until he was gone, because we spent so much time together that our smells became the same. But now I can sense it: Vanilla. Coffee. Black Tea. And lavender...

_I'm scared, Julius... I'm selfish and naive, and now the whole Kingdom is my responsibility. How did you manage it all?_

_I'm not..._ completely _alone, am I?_

I close my eyes, sinking deeper into my own soul. I can feel him inside me, still, that one little shard that gifted me with power and love. It's _his,_ still living. I've heard him speak before, so maybe...

_Julius? Can you hear me?_

I lay there in silence until sleep finally blesses me with its release. There is no answer.

* * *

The morning greets me with a wave of nausea. With a strangled groan, I sit up, sore from sleeping in a pile on the ground. _Shit!_ Mind reeling, I scramble on all fours to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time to release my guts. After a minute of retching, the moment passes, and I fall back to lay on the bathroom floor. _God, that was unpleasant..._ For some reason, though, I can't help but smile. _That's it, then... morning sickness._

A reminder of the one good thing that's happened in the last few days: I'm pregnant.

After a few minutes, I shakily get back on my feet, brush my teeth, and move back into the bedroom. A pang of sadness hits me again as I spot my nest, Julius's robe rumpled up where I curled up within it. _Hopefully I can manage better... I need to be better about emoting this kind of thing._ The episode last night was bad, and part of me wonders if the source of the emptiness was the fact that Julius and I were _literally_ bonded, emotionally, mentally, physically... all of it. _My grandparents were so closely bonded, they died at the exact same time. Some of this extra pain is probably from separation. Great!_

Despite my verdict, I still have a job to do. I couldn't get anything out of Julius's memories last night, so I'll have to keep going at it alone. The process of distracting myself begins once again.

It's still early, so I take the time to clean up the room again. I replace all the clothes in the closet, but I can't bring myself to hide the robe away again. Instead, I fold it up and place it on the bed once its made. _This will be a small comfort... it'll be nice to sleep with it, anyway._

Things are kind of dusty, so I start wiping it away. I pull out a couple of ancient boxes from under the bed, some of which I've never seen before. Curious, I open them up one after the other, and the contents of one shock me.

"Huh? What's this doing here?"

It's a crown, a simple gold crown with a couple of rubies embedded in it. Now that I think about it, all the pictures of past Wizard Kings have them wearing crowns, but I never saw Julius wear it, not once. He must have thought it was dumb, and kept it hidden out of sight. For some reason I can't help but giggle a little at the thought, although the sound is laced with melancholy. _It makes sense... you always did things your way, and never really cared for the power and status your position gave you. A king doesn't need to wear a crown, unless..._

Slowly, I reach up and put it on my own head, admiring myself in the mirror.

_Unless she looks great in it!_

I get dressed, pulling on another outfit like the one last night. My hands are still shaking a bit as I tie up the sash of my "bathrobe," which is just as comfy as it was last night. _Right... it's time to buckle down. Ready or not, I'm the Wizard King, and I'm going to do everything I can to protect everyone._ My orders to Asta and the Black Bulls were vague, but hopefully they could dig up some useful information about the devils. The fact that they even _existed_ and one managed to cause so much damage was astounding and worrying. Something told me there was more to this threat than I realized.

Finally, I pull on my cape and the chain once more, and look one last time in the mirror.

 _I guess... I'm starting to look the part, at least. And once Marx digs up some outfit for me to wear, I'll_ really _look like a king._ Hopefully he doesn't find some heavy robe like Julius wore.

With that, I turn and walk out of my room, steeling myself for another hectic day.

* * *

Two days later, I find myself in another alien situation, one I never thought I'd find myself in. Of course, I've been to this room before. It's the great hall of the castle, where I first met Augustus, where I even got _married._ But those were both small gatherings. Today, the room is packed, with nobles, royalty, and every single Magic Knight. They all turn to look at me as the doors open to let me in, flanking both sides of the aisle. For a moment, I stand there, like a deer in the headlights, albeit a very well-dressed deer. 

_This is it..._

At the other end stands Augustus and the magic knights captains, all staring at me with varying expressions on their faces. Augustus's face is steely, almost disgusted, but Fuegoleon, Charlotte, and the others are smiling at me.

_You can do this. We're here._

I suck in a deep breath, and my gaze meets Marx. He's smiling too, a but his eyes look wet. He gives me a little nod.

I take my first step forward.

Not so long ago, being the center of any kind of attention was too much for me. From my childhood, I was forced to stay at the outskirts, out of sight.

_Get out of my sight._

But now...

All eyes are on me. Not just those in this room. The whole kingdom waits with baited breath to see what this new Wizard King will do. Nobility peers down at me over their noses. The commoners celebrate the ascension of one of their own. The peasants wait to see when if I will remember them, too.

But it's not just my kingdom that's watching.

_"This new Wizard King... if she's anything like Julius Novachrono, she will prove to be a useful ally."_

And even farther away...

_"Do you think this girl will be a threat, Lucifero?"_

_"..._

_no."_

It's a long, long walk, but I finally arrive, and slowly kneel before the King. Augustus speaks to the crowd, but his eyes don't leave mine. I find myself smirking, and he gulps nervously as he can tell what I'm thinking.

_Drink up this view, your majesty... this will be the only time I get on my knees for you._

I finally tune in again as he speaks my full name.

"Do you swear to protect this Kingdom, and serve faithfully as the Wizard King?"

I nod quickly.

"I do."

_I said "I do" in this room once before, didn't I? I liked the man across from me then much better, though..._

"Then by the power entrusted with me as the King of the Clover Kingdom-"

The shiny crown, newly polished after its long slumber under the bed, now hovers above my head.

"-I proclaim you the Wizard King."

I close my eyes, the weight of the crown finally registering as it finds purchase in my hair.

"Please rise."

I do as he says, rising to my feet as gracefully as I can. Two servants step forward from each side, one holding a Sovereign's Orb and the other a Scepter. Each one is heavily bejeweled and are just as heavy as I take them in my hands. But I carry the weight well, and I finally turn to face the crowd as the applause begins. It's official now... here I stand, adorned with more finery than I ever thought I would carry. Julius's chain hangs in three loops across my chest, fastened on each side of my new robe. Marx had it custom made... it's long, velvety fabric trimmed with the same white fur that Julius's had. 

The applause continues, but the tension in the air doesn't escape me. My eyes land on each squad, giving them each a calming smile.

I raise my hand (with difficulty, since it's occupied by the Orb), and the crowd hushes immediately. Awkwardly, I clear my throat and start to speak, projecting my voice as much as I can.

"I will be forever thankful for this honor you have bestowed upon me... leading the Magic Knights and this Kingdom is no small task, but I promise-" I hold up the specter, and Marx immediately steps forward to take it from me. Once unburdened, my hand forms three fingers, which I quickly press against my heart.

"I will protect every member of this kingdom with all the life I have!"

The crowd erupts in cheers again, giving me a moment of joy. They're cheering for _me,_ all of them are looking up at me to lead them.

_And I will... I will!_

Maybe it's too early to tell if I'll actually be able to keep this promise. Maybe, even now, I knew it would be impossible. But I'm going to try anyway. 

_Julius, wherever you are... watch me. Guide me._ I let my hand fall back to my side.

The ceremony ends, and Yami immediately finds his way to my side. "Yami! You wanted to discuss something with me, right?" I ask, putting down my water as I mill about after the event is over. There's food and drink for everyone, each one having come up to congratulate me until it was Yami's turn.

The man nods, his eyes darting around. "Right... we should go somewhere private." He leans in, whispering his next words as we start to walk off.

"There might be a devil's curse in the Heart Kingdom."


	7. the new advisor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh for some reason the spacing changes halfway through this oops

"Devils.... an attack in six months... it's enough to stress anyone out."

"I know, but at least all the captains have agreed to train hard."

I let out another groan and scratch my head, blinking away the exhaustion in my eyes. Barely a week since I was coronated, and things have gotten severely complicated. Luckily for me, being Wizard King is not much different from being an advisor to the Wizard King, but that's not the hard part. The curse in the Heart Kingdom ended up being one placed on the Heart Queen herself: Lolopechika. It would kill her in a year, and originated from a devil in the Spade Kingdom. 

"Megicula...."

Marx looks up from his paperwork, his skin illuminated by the candlelit chandelier above. The word comes as just a whisper, my eyes out of focus as I stare blankly at the paperwork in front of me. Then, I let myself smile. 

"I suppose this could be worse... like you said, all the captains agreed to work together at the meeting today," I finally say, my voice piercing the silent office in the night. "And if I can lead this nation through a war... that surely means I'm worthy of this title."

_Yes... but only if we can win._

"Yeah, you're right. But all that's going to be six months from now. I suppose you have a plan to get stronger yourself?"

"Yes..." I nod slowly, finally meeting his gaze with my own. The candlelight fails to reflect from my eyes. "Sort of. Defeating a devil could be difficult even for me, even though I'm classified as an arcane mage." I let out a soft groan. "Damn... if only I got to fight the Word Devil before."

Marx nods, his eyes flickering around the room as he considers the options. "Well, why don't you ask someone who was there? Yami, Asta, Yuno... or the Elves!" Marx smiles and holds up a finger. "Some of the Elves might know more about Devils than we do."

"Ooh, good idea!" I sit up in my chair, newfound energy filling me. "I'll go ask right now!"

"What?! No! In fact-" Marx stands up to halt my escape. "You should go to bed! You can go see the elves after your doctor's appointment tomorrow."

"Bed? Marx, you know-"

"You need it! I know you used to not sleep, but... you're not alone in that body anymore-" Marx gulps nervously. "You need to eat and sleep like a normal human for the next nine months, to ensure the baby's health!"

_Like a normal human._

Finally, my shoulders slump in defeat. "Fine... I'll be up early, though." I let myself yawn, brushing by Marx on my way out. "I wish I didn't have to stay up so late all the time."

"You and me both. Should I hire another advisor?"

I pause for just a moment. A new advisor hasn't been hired since I was. 

"...sure."

"Good. I'll have some applications on your desk tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, Marx."

* * *

In the whole Kingdom, only four people knew that I'm carrying the child of the late Wizard King. The first, of course, is me. The second was Saida, the elf who resided within my and ended up posessing me during the recent fight. She sensed the baby and told me about it before she was released. Third is Marx, and lastly is Owen, the Royal Doctor. 

"Well, everything seems to be progessing normally."

His _Qualle Operation_ spell removes itself from around my body, and I sit up on the examination bed to watch him write down some notes. "So? How far along am I?"

Owen cocks his head slightly as he thinks about it. "Probably about 8 weeks, maybe 10 at most." He shakes his head slightly, still thinking. "It's strange... for years, repeated examinations of your body proved to have the same results: on every level, it operates differently from a regular human's. And it still does... for the most part." His brow furrows. "Your stomach and reproductive organs were somehow reverted back to their normal state before the conception... this examination proved that much. The rest of you is the same."

"8 weeks..." My eyes widen. "Wait... that was back when I fought Vetto! And his curse crippled me-"

"That's right! And the only way you were saved was by the magic blood the Black Bulls obtained from the Witch Queen, I remember that much. The time lines up..." Owen gives me a smile. "Well, that's just a theory. In any case, you might go back to normal after the birth. I'll check up on you often."

"Right!" I swing my legs off the bed to stand up. _In any case, speculating about this miracle is useless to me now. It's not like I want to have any more children after this._ "I have a busy schedule today."

"I'm sure, your Majesty."

_I doubt... I'll ever find a love like Julius again._

"See you later, Owen."

There's just one fact that bothers me: In six months, the baby won't be born. 

_And I can't fight if I'm pregnant... so will I have to let the others fight the Devil alone?_

* * *

"It was nice of you to invite us here, Miss Wizard King."

 _Miss? Mrs., actually!_ I think, my fingers tightening around my coffee mug. It's a petty matter, but somehow I don't feel all that angry at the tease. In fact... it almost feels familiar. In a way, it's pleasent... because it makes me focus on Rhya instead of the other elf sitting across from me. 

"My pleasure. I actually have a few questions for you... you see, I don't remember much about that fight in the Shadow Palace."

"Ah, that's right! You were possessed!" Rhya chuckles a bit to himself. "By Saida, too, my sincerest apologies!"

I shake my head a little. "She wasn't that bad! At least, from what I saw of her life. We have similar taste in men, after all, so I bet we would have gotten along." _Maybe, but that's not what I want to talk about!_ "Anyway... what I do know is that she didn't face that Devil herself. We may be facing a similar threat very soon."

"...what do you mean? Is there another Devil?"

The voice makes me freeze up for just a second. 

_Remember... it wasn't his fault._

_He was manipulated._

_He was scared._

_He was used._

_And yet..._

Rhya narrows his eyes, glancing between me and Patri, an icy tension growing even thicker between us. 

_... I needed to invite him, because he saw the Devil along with Rhya. But- maybe I should have invited just Rhya-_

"...yes. In the Spade Kingdom."

I raise my mug to my lips and take a long sip, the hot liquid rushing down into my stomach. The warmth calms me for just a moment. _I can't let my feelings get in the way... this is something I have to do._

I squeeze my fist under the table. 

"We have six months to get stronger and defeat this devil. Of course, this includes me. I thought, if Saida encountered this Devil and fought it, that I would remember now. But-"

"Yeah, no, she didn't fight it. However, she was close to doing so." Rhya finally speaks up again, sensing the tension relax a little. "You see... for just a minute, she and the Devil were together. That bastard possessed our friend Ronne, and used his body to hide among us. I didn't think much of it at the time... but when Ronne saw you, he became noticiably tense."

Patri nods along. "To be fair... everyone was a bit tense around you. I mean- around Saida." I frown, wondering if I should be offended at all. "Most elves shared similar attributes to their host human, but Saida had an extra one when she awakened... Time. She developed it rapidly, the increased mana giving her powers you didn't have at the time. When she showed up while we were with Ronne, she floated about how she had control over all aspects of time... I fought you before, but I had no idea why you had that mana... the mana that belonged... belonged to-"

The longer he spoke, the tighter my fist became. I stared at him blankly, my eyes only moving as I blinked. The movements of his mouth became fuzzy, the words mushing together. A symphony- no- a _cacophony-_ the sound of a dull, burning rage swelling within me, desperate to be taken out upon him. 

_Say his name, scum... say the name of the man you killed-_

"ANYWAY- When Saida gloated to us, Ronne got real tense."

Unknowingly, Rhya steps between us. The swell relaxes, draining out to leave nothing behind once again. 

"Because she was that powerful?" I finally speak again, looking at Rhya again.

"Maybe... and he immediately sent you off to help Fana. Somewhere where you couldn't fight him." Rhya rubs his chin sleepily. "He was a Devil... and yet, he was afraid to fight you."

 _Afraid... to fight_ me? _So... I posed a threat to a Devil back then. Was it just because of the magic? Or..._

"Rhya... Saida, she was Simulcian, wasn't she?"

Patri glances at his friend, who freezes mid-yawn. Then, he looks back at me. "Well, I didn't know about that until recently-"

"I didn't ask you."

I don't snap at him, the words come out calmly. But Patri falls silent immediately. 

"Yeah, Saida only told a few people. But yeah, her father was a Simulcian." Rhya glances at Patri, almost like a warning. I can only imagine what's going through his head right now, but he probably wants to avoid escalating any hostility. "I never saw him- no one did. We just assumed he was one of those travelling elves. But Saida never got one of those marks-" He points at my head. "And she only ever had flame magic."

"I see..." I rub my chin as I think about it. "Elves and Simulcians are distinct species, just like Humans and Elves, or Humans and Simulcians. So it makes sense that not all traits would manifest in an elf hybrid, not even traits that manifest in a human hybrid. But when she possessed me, she got those powers... and amplified them with Elvish mana. My body still remembers that mana, and I can use it at the same capacity. So..."

For the first time in this conversation, I smile. 

"The Spade Devil might see me, a Simulcian, and feel the same way the Word Devil did."

_The power to strike fear into an unearthly creature... I have that power. Because, at the end of the day, I'm not a human, am I?_

"But I still need to get stronger." I shake my head, suddenly remembering my pregnancy. "If no one else can defeat the Spade Devil in six months, I need to have the power to do it with ease... even when dealing with a serious handicap. That would be a worst case sceneario."

"Handicap? Like what?" Rhya raises an eyebrow, and I know he's searching for any sign of the truth on my face. Not because he holds any malice towards me; but because he's nosey. I shift uncomfortably in my seat. 

_I'm not ready to tell anyone... much less these two._ I glance at Patri, who knows better than to voice his own curiousity. 

"... it's a secret. And none of your business!"

“Fine, keep your secrets!” Rhya scoffs, shooting me a drowsy grin. “Damn, you really are like Saida sometimes… secretive and stubborn.”

“Is that so? Well…” I’m not exactly sure how to take it, so I brush the comment off. It’s true, there’s a lot of shared experiences between me and my elf counterpart; our family, our powers, and even our taste in men.  _ The first Wizard King, huh? He was here, too, but I hardly noticed him before he left.  _ Maybe that’s a missed opportunity, but one too late to dwell on. “Thank you for your cooperation.”

“No problem!” Rhya glances at Patri, who is still silent, sitting a little awkwardly now that he senses this meeting’s end after he’s hardly contributed anything at all. I called him here because he faced the Devil, but ended up ignoring him. 

_ And that’s the best thing I could do right now. Because if I allow myself to think too hard about it… _

“One last thing…” I set my empty mug on the table. “The Devils… where do they come from? And what do they want? And-” My brow furrows a bit. “Do they have any history with the Simulcians?”

“Well, I don’t know much. But they come from some sort of underworld, a dimension that exists separately from our own,” Rhya explains, slinging one of his arms over the back of his seat. “That Word Devil’s true name was Zagred. The only reason he managed to get into our world was because we opened a door for him.”

“A door…” I repeat, nodding along, my gaze automatically moving to Patri without thinking about it. “That door was opened with one of the magic stones, right?”

He looks a bit surprised that I’m speaking to him, but Patri recovers quickly to respond. “Right… it seems like they can only travel here with assistance from the overworld.”

“So… as for Megicula… someone in the Spade Kingdom must have opened a door for it as well. But why?”

“Not for any good reason, I imagine,” Rhya answers. “They used it to curse the Heart Queen, and they’ve already used it to conquer much of the Diamond Kingdom.”

“Yeah, I know that much.” I shake my head, the situation seeming darker and darker every minute. “We’re next… but I wonder what Megicula is getting out of this.”

_ We already know that some devils will work with humans. Asta’s devil seems to be an ally, for now at least, and also the Devils that  _ he  _ possesses. But that’s a whole other can of worms. I suspect we’ll have to call back the spy before much longer.  _ I’m pulled from my thoughts as Patri speaks again.

“As for the Simulcians, not much is known about their history,” he says, keeping his eyes fixed on the table. “I didn’t know about them until recently, in fact. Even now, I admit that I don’t fully understand your powers… but-” He straightens up, strength returning to his voice. And for once, I don’t feel the usual surge of hostility towards him.

_ Patri isn’t evil… I know that much. In fact… maybe he can be quite useful to me. _

“It’s lucky that you’re part Simulcian, and those powers allowed you to gain time magic. Because of that, the Clover Kingdom has a powerful arcane mage at its helm, one who will intimidate even Megicula if you’re lucky.” His shoulders slump slightly, but he doesn’t break eye contact. “I promise… to pay for my sins, I’ll do everything in my power to help you and the magic knights defeat this devil. It’s the least I can do.”

_...sins… _

_...pay… _

_ Patri… don’t worry about that. Your justice will come one day, from my own hands. _

“...thank you.”

The words surprise even me. Words that I never expected to say to the one who killed Julius.

“I expect you to do everything I tell you to.”

“Of course, your majesty.”

“... come on, Patri, you can call me by my name.” I give him a little smile. “We used to be friends, right?”

His golden eyes widen slightly, shining with shock, guilt… and respect.

“Of course.”

-

“Well? So, did that conversation help at all?”

“Yeah, a bit.” I squeeze my clasped hands behind my back as Marx and I walk through the castle on our way back to the office. “I know what to do now… I need to go talk to my relatives. I don’t know why, but I feel like the Simulcians have some sort of history with the Devils. I may be able to tap into that history through synchronization, and unlock some information that could help us defeat Megicula.”

“History?” Marx repeats, looking a bit worried. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… well…” My footsteps slow to a stop, right by a large window. I take a moment to peer down into the city, the Kingdom that doesn’t know the threat that looms over it. 

“Every creature has a natural enemy. A sparrow and a hawk. A cheetah and a gazelle. Maybe… maybe it’s wishful thinking-”

_ The power to strike fear in an unearthly creature…  _

“Simulcians may be the natural enemy to Devils.”

Marx and I stand there in silence for a few more seconds as my words sink in. Then, I suck in a breath and turn back to him with a smile on my face. “But that would be too good to be true! Natural enemy or not, I’ll defeat the Devil if I have to. But-” I turn to keep walking, my hand coming up to touch my stomach. “I might be handicapped badly at that time, so I’ll need your help to bolster the knights as best we can. Got it?”

I glance back to see him standing there, still thinking about what I said. “...right! And of course, I don’t want you fighting any Devils if you’re pregnant!” he finally answers, jogging a few feet to catch up to me. “Or overworking yourself for that matter…”

“Oh, right!” I grin at the thought. “You found some advisor candidates right?”

“Yep! You probably forgot to look at them this morning.”

“Marx, I’ve been busy! It’s all right, I’ll look at them now-”

Mid-sentence, I turn the corner and run right into someone coming the other way.

“Ouch!”

“Ah!”

I stumble back and look down to see the person I knocked to the ground. “Oh! Are you alright?!” I quickly offer them my hand.

It’s a girl, probably about my age, still dazed from being bumped. She blinks a couple times up at me, her pale yellow eyes slowly filling with a dawning recognition. Then, her mouth drops open.

“Y-Y-Y-”

_ Uh oh-  _ I gulp, knowing that there’s several things she could be about to say.  _ She probably didn’t expect to run into the Wizard King today… well, I can just tell her it’s alright and move on- _

“Y-your eyes…”

Her voice trails off for a moment after those unexpected words leave her lips. 

_ My… eyes? _

Out of all my features, my eyes have always been my least favorite. It’s not something I like to think about, but they isolate me as something unusual, even before I manifested the mark on my head. All Simulcians have black eyes, eyes that reflect no light, eyes without pupils, eyes like a black hole that sucks up everything around it. They’re cold, empty eyes, but no one dares to say anything about them.

_ And yet… _

Julius would stare into them for hours. He’d study their depth, not as if it were an oddity, but as if it were some incredible secret he was desperate to understand. 

And now, this girl, with her pale eyes the same shade as morning light, let those words pass her lips.

I don’t really know how to react. I don’t know what she’s feeling. I don’t know why that was the first thing she noticed.

But a moment later, her own eyes widen tenfold and she lets out a strangled scream. “AH! WAIT! Y-YOU’RE-” She suddenly drops to the ground, pressing her forehead against it in some kind of weird bow. “You’re the Wizard King! And I just ran into you! Oh god, I’m so so so sorry! This is all my fault, I’m so disrespectful, please execute me!”

She continues to babble on, and both Marx and I stand there, stunned at the barrage of apologies coming from this girl. “Uh… it’s okay, really!” I finally say, and she freezes. “No harm done… it happens to us all, aha-” I don’t know why, but I get real nervous the moment she looks back up at me. “Well… apology accepted? I’m not going to execute you, don’t worry-”

I cut myself off when several things dawn on me at once.

This girl.... She’s pretty. Objectively pretty. She’s curvy in all the right spots, tall, her eyes doe-like and her lips plump. Her face is round, delightfully so. She has a smattering of moles over her face and down her exposed neckline, beauty marks that look pleasant on her skin, which itself is a warm shade of tan. Everything about her is… soft. Her hair is pulled back into a bun on the top of her head, dark blue, almost black. The one imperfection on her whole being is her bangs, which look like they were hacked to pieces by a serial killer. Yet, they still frame her face so well…

But what really makes my blood run cold is her clothes. Well, it’s more of a nightgown, sheer and thin, almost indecent, the plunging neckline hanging dangerously loose over her….  _ Large figure.  _ It’s an outfit I’ve seen before… and there’s only one reason why she would be wearing it in this part of the castle.

_ She’s… one of the King’s women… _

_ One of Augustus’s…. _

“You… where were you heading just now?”

The mere mention makes her eyes fill with a puddle of emotion. Fear, sadness… repulsion. Before she can open her mouth to answer, I hold out my hand again.

“Come on, you’re coming with me.”

The girl blinks, stunned once again. “H-Huh?” Despite her confusion, she immediately reaches up to take my hand. By the time I pull her to her feet, she understands the gravity of the situation. “W-Wait! I-I have to go, or else the King-”

“If the King notices you’re gone, he’ll have to go through  _ me  _ to get you back.” I give her a comforting smile, ignoring the shock on Marx’s face at this impulsive decision. “Now, come on… we have a lot to talk about.”

I tell Marx to go away as soon as we get to my office. The girl nervously sits down in a chair, watching as I walk over to my desk. She gulps once before speaking. “Uh… thank you…”

“Don’t mention it,” I say, picking up my robe, which was draped over the back of my seat, before returning to her side. “Many women have been hurt by that disgusting man… including me.” Her eyes widen a bit as I hand her the robe. “Put this on… you look cold.”

Her eyes linger on me for a moment, but then she smiles. “.... thank you.” She quickly wraps it around her bare shoulders, looking as comfy as can be. The sight strikes a strange… familiarity within me. Julius used to wrap me up in his own robe all the time. Especially on cold mornings… the heat coming from my body always warmed it up in no time for him. That’s probably the reason why this girl looks so cute right now…

“I’m sorry for troubling you,” she finally says, her eyes drifting away from mine. “I look terrible today, too… to tell you the truth…” She points at her messy bangs. “I cut my own bangs on purpose this morning. I hoped he would see them, think I’m ugly, and tell me to leave!” She giggles a bit, but there’s sadness in the sound. “I was so excited to work in the castle… but I never knew  _ this  _ was the job until I got here.”

“That’s… terrible.” I clench my fist at my side, angry flaring up.  _ Damn that Augustus… right when I thought you couldn’t get any worse. _

“But! Now I’m here! I don’t know what I’m going to do now, though…” She sighs and suddenly holds her face in her hands. “I’m going to be in so much trouble…”

“Hey! It’s alright. I told you, I won’t let anything happen.” She lowers her hands to see that I knelt down in front of her, giving her a gentle smile. “Tell me… what’s your name?”

She’s transfixed. Hypnotized. For a brief moment, I feel a bit uncomfortable at the way she stares into my eyes.  _ What did she mean before… what is it about my eyes she felt the need to vocalize? _

“Adeline. Adeline Lethe.” Her answer is soft, almost timid. 

“That’s… a pretty name. Adeline… would you like me to fix your hair?” 

Her face lights up. “Yes! Er- I mean, only if you’re not busy-”

The scissors are already in my hand. “It’s fine! I enjoy cutting hair…”  _ Even though I’ve never done it before…  _ I think.  _ Well, Julius was good at it, so I will be, too.  _

I snip away carefully, and Adeline stays perfectly still. “So… what kind of magic do you have? I assume you’re nobility.”

“Yes, I am!” she responds. “But, I’m sorry to say that I’m not all that powerful or anything… My magic is celestial precognition. But it’s only in flashes… I only see things right before they happen, and there’s never any time to change it.”

“Huh… interesting…” She’s clearly not telling me everything, so I prod a bit more. “Even just a little warning can make a difference, though… but what’s the  _ celestial  _ have to do with it?”

“Well… I see those flashes through nature. The alignment of planets, the pattern of the stars, the position of the moon and sun… I translate those into the future. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain… mostly it’s useless, which is how I ended up in such a bad job…”

“Nonsense! In fact, I think it’s amazing!” Her eyes pop open in shock as I smile down at her once again. “Not many people have that kind of power… and…”

An idea occurs to me.

_ It could be helpful to have someone who gets flashes of the future by my side… _

“Marx?”

“What is it? A problem?” Marx answers through his communicator.

“No, no problem… I was thinking about that new advisor…”

I glance over at Adeline, who’s standing in front of a mirror and admiring her new haircut. 

“I think I found one.”

  
  



	8. the septad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter you can find discussion of fate, the Tree of Qliphoth, and... a moth goddess?!

_ Dear Lyra, _

_ I’m sorry for being so out of touch lately. To be fair, it wasn’t entirely my fault, since this recent incident basically halted all mail movement around the kingdom. However, I got your most recent letter today, and I’m so glad that you and the others are safe! And it seems the town suffered minimal damage, and you were able to take down the one attacker all together.  _

_ Anyway… I’m sure you’ve heard the news by now. I would have invited you all to my coronation, but it was all over so fast, there was hardly time to plan a trip. Plus, the castle and capitol is still in shambles, so it wouldn’t have been fun. Don’t worry- I’m alright, with many friends and advisors by my side. I’ll have time to be sad once the situation has stabilized, whenever that will be. _

_ Please write back soon. I miss you. _

_ Love… _

My pen pauses above the page before I sign my name.

_ Should I tell her… about the baby? _

After a moment, I move again. My name appears, then is quickly concealed as I fold the letter up. 

“Are you almost done?” Marx pokes his head into my office, just in time to see me press my finger into a disc of wax and start to heat it up. “Oh, you are. You wanted to head out soon, right?”

“Right!” I watch the wax melt, then shake the excess off of my finger. “As soon as you send this off, I want to leave.” I grab one of the seals sitting on the desk, the official seal of the Wizard King, and press it into the wax. “Hopefully this won’t take long… they either have the information I need or they don’t.”

I stand up, holding the sealed letter out for him to take. Marx quickly receives it, waves his hand, and sends out a signal. Within seconds, a small portal appears at his side; belonging to one of our many postal mages downstairs. He throws the letter inside, and that’s that. “There we are. Now, where’s Adeline?”

“She’s delivering orders to the squads,” I tell him, motioning for him to follow me out of the office and down the hall. “She’ll be back soon, we’ll probably run into her on our way out.”

“Oh, good!” Marx smiles a little, his eyes narrowing. “You know, I’m sorry for being so hesitant about her… she ended up being very efficient and hard-working. Although, I can’t blame her-” He glances over at the back of my head. “She’s devoted to you entirely… as far as she’s concerned, you saved her life.”

“Well, that’s what a good leader should do, right? Find talent, in unexpected places, and bring it into the light.” 

_ That’s what Julius would have done, anyway. _

Just as I predicted, we run into Adeline a few minutes later. She skids to a stop in front of us, out of breath from her previous chore, but a big smile appears on her face as she spots us. “Your majesty! And- Marx!” She quickly bows her head out of respect. “I’ve completed the task you gave me!”

“Please, no more  _ your majesty!  _ I like you enough that you can call me by my real name.” Adeline looks up in time to see me shoot her a little wink. “Thanks for doing that, now come on!”

Adeline quickly joins my side, and before long the three of us reach an open window. Marx immediately winces. “Oh no… you can’t possibly-”

“It’s the quickest way! Come on!” I grab his hand and hold the other out to Adeline. “Hold on tight, alright? It’ll just last a couple seconds.”

Her eyes widen, but she nods quickly and takes my arm. Without another moment passing, I turn back towards the window.

“ _ Flame Creation Magic: Sun God’s Leap.” _

Tiny wings burst to life around my elbows and ankles, fluttering delicately but with more power than ever before. This is my only flight spell, and when paired with my time acceleration, there’s no way to travel any faster. 

“Here we go!”

I push off the ground, and the three of us shoot off out of the window. Marx and Adeline both hold on tighter, Adeline letting out a little scream of surprise. Land and air courses past our bodies, faster and faster, the feeling so familiar.  _ I can remember it… just like it was yesterday. The first time Julius showed me his power… I was going to be late coming back to the base, and he just swept me up and- in a moment, we were there. _

Those simple days… what I wouldn’t give to have them back. When my biggest worry was whether or not Julius liked me back. 

_ Because… of course he did. It was so obvious, even back then… we were meant to be together. _

A few seconds later, we crash down to earth, a little less elegantly than usual since I have two passengers. The moment I let go, Marx stumbles away, extremely dizzy, but Adeline keeps clutching at me, stunned and dazed by the experience. “W-W-Wow…” she stutters, blinking owilishly. “That was… really… cool…”

“Ah, thanks-” I cut myself off when I realize just how… close she is. Adeline is a good few inches taller than me, and having her pressed against me like this. “Ah- er- Adeline-” I feel my ears start to heat up. “Do you think you could-”

“OH! Sorry!” She lets go and steps back, seemingly back to normal. “Thanks for the ride… now…” She turns to look around. We’re standing outside a small town, a very humble town in the middle of nowhere. This place is close to the border with the Heart Kingdom, the land fertile and rich with natural mana. This is where the remnants of the Simulcian race live… where my  _ family _ lives. “This is the place?”

“It sure is.” I suck in a breath, a little worried about what was to come. “Now.. don’t be frightened by them. They’re going to be nosy, and they don’t really understand personal space,” I explain as we start to walk. “They’re all brothers and sisters, making them my aunts and uncles.”

“Right… and, what exactly do we need from them again?” Adeline asks.

“They could have information about the Devils- don’t you remember that big lecture I gave you about it yesterday?”

Adeline laughs nervously. “Oh, right… ah, to be honest, there was so much information, and I’m sure I forgot some of it-”

“Nevermind, I’ll tell you later.”  _ She’s honest though, at least….  _ I sigh heavily.  _ About most things.  _ I can’t help but remember our first meeting, that look of surprise on her face, and those words-

_ “Your eyes…” _

_ Well, if she was off-put by these eyes of mine, then she’s got a big shock coming… _

“OH! LOOK! IT’s OUR NIECE!”

_ And… here they are. _

A small crowd of people run up to us as we reach the town. All of them look a bit like me, with slightly varying shades of hair. However, all of them seem to be about my age, and all of them have the same, empty black irises. When they were united into Septads, those eyes glowed an eerie blueish white. “Hey guys… long time no see?”

A few pairs of hands immediately grab my arms, just like I anticipated, and start to drag me away, all chatting all at once.

“A visit from our Wizard King!”

“The first Foreign Wizard King!”

“This is a great victory for the Simulcians!”

“The first non-human Wizard King!”

“We’ll have to build a statue of you next!”

Luckily, they ignore Adeline and Marx, who jog behind us. Adeline looks a bit worried about me, but Marx is used to this by now. “Hmm? Statue?” I repeat, still trying to get used to this newfound hospitality. 

“Oh, right! Come look at our most recent project!” one of my uncles says excitedly. “We had to put it on hold after the attack, but it still looks great so far!”

_ Huh? I wonder what it might be- _

We turn the corner to enter the “town square,” and the hands finally release me. “Don’t run off like that!” Marx scolds, hurrying up to my side with Adeline.  _ What? It’s not like I had a choice!  _ I almost respond, but Adeline catches my attention when her eyes widen. “W-what is that supposed to be?”

_ Hmm?  _ I turn to follow her gaze, finally spotting the unfinished statue in the middle of the square. It’s made of wood, part of it painted dark blue, but it looks like it’s been on hold for a long time. I recognized the figure immediately. “Oh… this is your deity, isn’t it?”

“Yep!” an aunt answers in unison with a few others. “Aren’t they beautiful! Simulcia, in all her glory…”

The populace of the Clover Kingdom tends to believe in God. Churches and convents are located in almost every town, and most people worship in their own homes. My mother made me and my cousins go to church every week, but I never really absorbed any of it. Maybe I was trying to emulate my father, who never joined us for worship. Little did I know, even he must have had some underlying allegiance to…  _ her.  _

If the concept of  _ God  _ is ridiculous to me, then it’s even harder for me to believe in Simulcia. According to my family, she was a giant woman who took the form of a moth. Parts of that are evident on the statue; her inhuman face, her tall, feathered antennae. She had wings, too, but they haven’t gotten around to carving those yet. Her two giant eyes are painted black. The finishing touches are her marks, seven of them, carved into her palms, her knees, her stomach, her heart, and finally, her forehead. Apparently she broke into seven parts upon her death, and is the “mother” of all Simulcians. I’m not exactly sure how accurate all this is…

“A… a  _ pagan god?!”  _ I look over to see Adeline staring at the statue again, looking very distrubed. “You didn’t tell me they were pagans!”

“Pagan?” I repeat, for some reason finding this kind of funny. “Adeline, it’s fine… they’ve been worshipping that goddess longer than the Kingdom worshipped their God.”

“I know… but-” Adeline finally looks over at me. “ _ Their?” _

“Ah, You know, I don’t believe in God  _ or  _ that thing- I mean, Simulcia. So what does that make me?”

Adeline opens her mouth to answer, but she can’t.  _ She’s probably lived a very sheltered life... _ I chuckle before turning to my family once again. “Well, if it isn’t too much trouble, may we stay for lunch.”

“Of course!!! We’ve got plenty of potatoes!”

“Oh… great!”

The Simulcian Colony works day in and day out, using all their mana to produce nutritious crops… mainly potatoes. The crops get sent out to poor areas, so the operation is going full throttle now more than any other time. The potatoes are good, I can’t deny it, but they taste earthy, almost tangy. But they’re moist and rich in mana, so I don’t complain when it’s the only thing I’m served at lunch. The whole town is extremely communal, so everyone is gathered here to eat. There’s about 40 of them living here, all chatting together in small circles as I sit down with Adeline and Marx to eat.

“With respect, we didn’t come here to socialize-” Marx reminds me, glancing around, clearly a little uncomfortable.

“I know, I know, I’m going to ask right now,” I whisper, turning to smile at some of my aunts as they suddenly come and sit down near us. “Hi! So, about this visit-”

“Is this about the Curse in the Heart Kingdom?” one of them cuts me off, already chewing a mouthful of food.

I blink, a little stunned by the quick response. “Kind of… wait, how do you even know about that?”

The aunts share a little look, holding back a chuckle. “You didn’t feel it? My, your human genes are really strong, aren’t they?”

_ Huh?  _ I repress a frown, a familiar sense of unease permeating my heart. Marx gulps quietly, and Adeline stares at me like I’ve grown another head.  _ They had to bring it up now, didn’t they? Ah-  _ I clear my throat. “So, Simulcians can sense Devil Curses?”

They all nod in unison. “Yes! We just know it’s there, not anything else though.”

“Oh, well…”

I quickly explain the situation to them: the Attack in six months, the Devil Megicula’s link to the Heart Kingdom, and Zagred’s reaction to me. “Hmm… a link between SImulcians and Devils…?” One of my aunts taps her chin as she thinks, her eyes not betraying her inner thoughts. “Well… we wouldn’t know anything about that off the tops of our heads. That would be ancient knowledge… because the last time we would have contacted Devils is during the last opening of the Tree.”

The phrase catches my attention. “Tree? What Tree?”

“The Tree! The Tree of Qliphoth!” Even the name sends an unpleasant shiver down my back. “It was millenia ago… but the channel between this world and the underworld was opened, and Devils reigned destruction upon the Earth!” My other aunts nod along in unison. “However, I don’t think our history went back that far… we didn’t move to our island until after… huh…” Her brow furrows in concentration as I stare in shock, not sure what to make of this new information.  _ The Tree of Qliphoth… that sounds bad. How come I’ve never heard of it before? If Devils really reigned destruction upon the world, that should be big news… unless it was so long ago that it was erased from written memory… and yet… _

“So…” I catch the attention of my aunts once I speak again. “You knew that… you’re able to subconsciously delve into Simulcian history, right?” I smile a little, feeling hopeful. “If you remembered something about the Tree, then Simulcians must have been around during its opening, right?”

To my surprise, they shake their heads. “Not necessarily… I thought you would understand by now.” My aunt motions out the door, towards the time square. “Our power comes from our shared consciousness…  _ her  _ consciousness. She broke herself apart, but she still exists in us. In  _ you.”  _ She reaches out and grabs my shoulder. “Your Dyad… a Dyad concentrates the entire consciousness into two people. She was a goddess of fate, and her power concentrated fate into you and Julius…” Her voice trails off as she feels me tense up at the mention of that name. “I’m sorry-”

“No, no, it’s fine!” I shake my head and give her a smile. “Tell me more… do you think  _ I  _ could tap into that history?”

“Maybe…” Her eyes light up. “Maybe, if you get into a Septad, you can uncover the information you seek!”

_ Uh oh-  _ The last time I entered a Septad, it didn’t end well… You probably remember.  _ Well, if it’s the easiest way to get information… _

“Fine, I’ll do it.”

I feel someone tug on my sleeve, and I look down to see Adeline looking up at me with concern. “Um… I don’t really understand what any of you are talking about, but… uh… is this…  _ safe?” _

_ … oh, Adeline… I don’t have any idea. _

“Yeah, sure!” I give her a thumbs up. “I’ve done it before, don’t worry!”

_ Well, that’s not a lie. _

Adeline’s worry melts into a smile. A very… cute smile.

_ She was worried about me… _

“Good! I’m sure you’ll be fine!”

My aunts take my hand and drag me away. The rest of them have already stood up, clearing an area in the middle of the room. Six women already stand there, as if they knew what we meant to do. I recognize them immediately- they’re the six Simulcians that I was forced to synchronize with, to form a Septad. Just seeing them, and being close to them… I feel a spark of mana in my forehead, as if it  _ yearned  _ to be together with someone again…  _ anyone.  _

“...hi…” I laugh awkwardly as I shed my cloak and pull out my Grimoire. “Can I do it? So I can break it when we’re done.” I don’t expect to get trapped again, but I’m not taking any chances.

The six of them nod all at once, giving me identical smiles. These six were together for years, and now they operate like they’re all one unit. “Ok… let’s go then.”

My Grimoire floats up, and I utter the spell.

“ _ Dyad magic… Septad Creation!” _

All at once, our marks start to glow, and I feel the mana start to cycle around. Faster and faster, so fast that it seems to inhabit us all at once. It’s not nearly as powerful as a Dyad, but I still have to plant my feet into the ground and will my hands to keep from shaking. The other's eyes start to glow a whitish-blue, the same light overtaking my own vision. The room melts away, and then-

Darkness.

_ This place… is really the mind of an ancient goddess? I don’t get it… so she really did exist? _

_...are you here? _

There’s not even a whisper of a soul left. Just an empty mind, pinned here against the tides of time and space, entrusted to a doomed race of people.

_ But… are there memories here? _

The earth quakes, and I feel the bond start to slip.

_ What?! Already! I’m not that weak, I should be able to last longer than this! _

FInally, the tremor stops. 

_ Good… now… someone… _

_ Show me a Devil. _

I’m not sure what I expected to see, but a scene finally fades in. I look around, spotting the setting sun over the mountains to the west. There’s buildings close by, familiar buildings.

_ This is… Raque? _

_ But, there aren’t any devils here! This is modern day… I need something farther back in time! So- _

I’m cut off as I hear a familiar voice.

“Look at it… the sea… it’s so beautiful.”

I turn towards the source, and spot two people sitting in the sand, staring out at the dark waves. The blackness of the water, so deep and mysterious, so  _ cold…  _ just like their identical black eyes.

_ This is… this… _

It’s the Dyad. My grandparents. They sit here, hand in hand, staring at the sea.

_ What is this… are they supposed to be the Devils? Or is this something completely unrelated- _

“Oh! Look!”

My grandmother’s gaze is caught by something to her right. She points, and both my and grandpa look.

“I see…”

A moth flits towards them, riding the sea breeze with delicate grace.

“That’s it then… it’s  _ her.” _

_ A moth…  _

_ Simulcia? _

The moth continues its slow approach.

_ “So… that’s it, then.” _

My grandpa’s words echo in my ears. The scene melts away once again.

_ “Our fate.” _

The void begins to shake once again. I try and reach out to the others as they tremble away from me, farther and farther, stretching our link so far it might snap.

_ Wait! What’s wrong? Why is this hurting you? _

I can’t reach them. They disappear, and a blinding light shoots through my body.

_ I don’t understand… what was that supposed to mean? _

I blink, and I’m back in the room with everyone. I almost fall over once my consciousness is restored, but Marx and Adeline catch me. “Oh god! Are you alright?”

“Huh? Yeah!” I nod vaguely in response to Adeline’s question. “I don’t get it though, I…”

My voice trails off as I spot the other six women. 

All of them have fallen to the ground, crumpled into little heaps. And each one of them holds their face in their hands, tears and sobs flowing freely.

I watch in silence, my mind reeling from this sudden turn of events.

_ Wait… so… the reason the bond was broken was because they were being hurt… not  _ me _? But why?  _

One of them lets out a shriek, and inhuman, emotionless scream.

_ Why… w-why… _

I know what they saw within me. They saw the void: a deep, insurmountable gap, one that I’m slowly but surely sinking into. A darkness deeper than any on this earth, a cold more piercing than a thousand knives. 

_ But… I don’t see it. _

As long as I keep my sight fixed on the light above… as long as I keep moving forward… I will drag myself out.

So… for now… I won’t look down.

It takes a while for things to settle down, so we just sit awkwardly until the others stop crying and return to normal. “I’m sorry… we ruined that bond,” one of them says, glancing over at me. “I don’t even remember what was so sad… but all at once, I felt like I couldn’t breathe at all.”

“Oh… I-I’m sorry… I don’t know what that was either.” I smile awkwardly and glance at Marx, who still is staring at the ground with a pained expression on his face. Adeline still looks confused. “Well… I guess we shouldn’t try again?”

“I mean, we probably can.” Another one sits up to look at me. “But… we could all feel it; the storm of emotions inside you. You need to learn to quell that storm, to travel to its eye… only within that calm will we be able to fully sink into our consciousnesses.”

I feel a pang of anger. “Quell my storm? I don’t know about that, I think I’ve been handling everything pretty well, considering the circumstances, right Marx?”

There’s no answer. “Marx?” I look over to see him looking like he’s a deer in the headlights. FInally, he shrugs.  _ Great…  _ “ANYWAY- how am I supposed to do that any more than I already am?”

“Meditation!” one of my uncles pipes up. “If you do a little every day, you should be able to clear your subconscious before entering the Septad.”

“Ooh! I meditate all the time!” I look over as Adeline of all people speaks up. “I can teach you, I know I can!”

For some reason, that idea makes me a bit nervous. “Oh…. okay. Well-” I cross my arms and scowl. “I don’t know if it’ll be any help. It kept showing me a scene from just a few years ago, I need something from back when the Tree of Qliphoth was being opened!”

A few of the Simulcians exchange glances before looking at me again. “That might be impossible… you see, no matter how hard we try, it’s still  _ her  _ mind. She only shows us memories she deems important to  _ us.” _

“Important to us?! WHy- AH!” My bottled up frustration suddenly bursts out, for just a moment. I ball up my fists under my robe as I keep talking. “I don’t know whether to believe any of this shit anyway… I mean, it all  _ sounds  _ good, but really? A  _ moth  _ goddess is telling me that my grandparents’s little love scene is more important than the  _ DEVILS?!” _

My uncle shrugs. “I don’t make the rules… but the sooner you go back, with a clear mind, the sooner it will all be answered.”

I feel a hand on my arm, and once again it’s Adeline, giving me a calming smile. “I got this, okay? When I’m done with you, you’ll be able to do this with no problem!”

…

_ “You can do this! I know you can. You’re the strongest person I know, after all!” _

For some reason, her words do the impossible. I feel a strange… peace within me. For a brief moment, the void ceases to scare me.

“...ok. I’ll do it.” 

I let out a deep sigh before looking back at my family. “Thank you… we’ll be back soon, is that okay?”

“Of course!” They all answer at once, a little enthusiastic. “We can’t wait to see you again!”

“Good!” I manage to smile. “Marx, Adeline… lets go.”

We leave soon after, but those brief moments within the Septad still stick with me. One sentence in particular circles my mind, the soothing, accepting tones of my grandmother’s voice springing up more and more questions in its wake.

_ “That’s it then… our fate.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time! Chapter 9: the long night. Adeline begins her crash course in meditation, but derails it when she starts talking about the stars. Maybe... maybe there IS something special about her. :)


	9. the long night

I eat alone in my office now. It’s nice, with fresh evening air lazily blowing in through the many open windows above me. It was basically ground zero for the recent fight, and was completely destroyed afterwards. Luckily though it was an easy fix with  _ Chrono Anastasis,  _ a spell I acquired when I was possessed by that elf.

It’s a phenomenon experienced by many of the Knights who were possessed; their bodies remembered the feeling of Elvish mana, and it amplified their own magic. Spells we couldn’t use before, feats we could have only hoped to accomplish… it was all a reality now. 

_ And it came at the best time, too.  _

I lazily extend my hand again, towards one of the vases of wilted flowers sitting on my desk. After the news of Julius’s death went public, we got an influx of gifts, symbols of condolences, small comforts during grief. “ _ Chrono Anastasis-”  _ I whisper. The flowers start to glow blue, and slowly but surely start to in water from the air around them.

_ A lot of people were hurt during the Elf attack. People even died…. But I’m doing everything in my power to fix the Kingdom in its wake. I think, in the long run, this will be a good thing… _

The flowers bloom once again, beautiful white lilies that suggest emotions that I can’t bring myself to feel.

_ Because of the elves, many of our knights are better equipped to fight a devil. Better equipped to protect those they hurt. So in the end, it evens out, right? _

Well, almost.

Because, there’s one elf I won’t forgive. One wound I will never forget. He walks free now, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. I want to put the whole thing behind me, and I keep reminding myself that it wasn’t his fault.

_ But… still… _

I can remember how it felt. I was miles away, a  _ world  _ away, and I still felt the sword pierce Julius’s heart. He died here, in terrible pain, and his blood still stains Patri’s hands.

Is that something I’m willing to forgive? 

“Hello~! I had a feeling you’d be in here.”

I nearly jump in surprise as someone speaks. “Oh! Adeline, it’s you…” I relax, still a little spooked.  _ Dang, I didn’t even hear her come in… _

She smiles brightly and gives me a lazy wave. “Did you forget about our appointment?” 

“A-Appointment?” I blink slowly, genuinely drawing a blank.

“Remember? Yesterday, you agreed to let me help you meditate!”

“...oh!” I quickly stand up, smoothing down my skirt. “I totally forget, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s fine! You have so much to think about, after all-” Adeline assures me, looking a bit taken aback by how harried I look. The truth is, little things keep on slipping by me because of all the other problems I have to deal with, and this is just another one of those little things. “We can reschedule if you want?”

“No! No way! We’re doing this.” I give her a pleasant smile before motioning for her to follow me. “Come on, there’s a place that might help me relax. Can we do this outside?”

If things were different, I may have suggested that we go down into the garden, where the small patch of greenery would ground me back down in my roots; in nature. Growing up, I spent almost all my time out in the woods, soaking up as much mana as I could. Even if I couldn’t use my magic very well back then, I have no doubt that those days ended up helping me in the end. 

However, we can’t go down there. I’m not ready to be… so close to the grave right now.

So, I lead Adeline to a small balcony, just a few halls down from my office. “Will this be alright?”

Adeline nods quickly, running to the railing to look over the city. “Wow… what a view!” She turns back to look at me, grinning. “You get to see this view every day, I’m so jealous~”

“Well, there’s nothing stopping you from seeing it every day, too,” I remind her, glad to see that she enjoyed it. “So…” I clear my throat. “How should we start.”

“Oh, right! Sit down.”

We sit down on the ground, across from each other on the stone. I don’t know why, but this whole thing is making me a bit nervous. But I need to do it, if I’m going to be able to reach deeper into the Simulcian subconscious and drag out the memories I need.  _ Was my pain really that bad? So bad that the others couldn’t stand it- _

“Breathe.”

My thoughts immediately clear as Adeline’s voice pierces them. I look at her face, and realize that she’s completely changed. There’s not a trace of a smile on her lips, and her eyes hold a seriousness that I’ve never seen before. It occurs to me that meditation must be something special to her; almost sacred. Something to get her through the horrors she has undoubtedly experienced; through long days and nights as one of Augustus’s handmaidens. 

She’s….

_ So strong… _

_ I want… to be as strong as she is.  _

_ Please… Adeline… pull me out… _

“Focus on breathing in and out. Feel each breath as it leaves you, then pull it back in.”

I give her a little nod before letting my eyes flicker closed. I do what she says, drawing my breath in and out just as she said.

“Don’t think of anything but your breathing. Don’t think about anything.”

_ Nothing. _

_ Nothingness. _

I try my hardest to envision nothing.

_ Would nothing be… death? _

_ No… _

I breathe in. I breathe out.

_ Nothing… is  _ life. 

Because, there’s nothing here for me. Not Adeline, not this balcony, not this kingdom…

_ Only my breath. _

_ But oh… how I want it to stop.  _

_ There’s only one thing keeping me alive… the breath I draw in every day, and the baby I carry inside me. _

Neither of those things is enough… I don’t think it’ll ever be enough.

“Hey, open your eyes.”

A hand grabs mine, and I jolt awake. Adeline looks at me with concern, her golden eyes matching the sunset perfectly. Her worry deepens. “You’re crying a little…”

“Huh? Oh-” I reach up and wipe my eyes quickly, erasing the evidence. “Sorry… I let my mind wander.” I sigh and bury my head in my hands. “It’s hard to focus… I’m so stressed out.”

“Ah, that’s forgivable! Don’t worry! And we can take a break.” Adeline gives me a kind smile. “You’re not alone… most people fail at meditation their first time, and it seems like you’re no different despite being the Wizard King!”

The comment is a little bold, but I find myself laughing a little at it. “Wow… Adeline,” I bite my lip to stifle another chuckle. “You really are one of those people who just says everything that’s on their mind.”

Her eyes widen at my words, and she immediately looks mortified. “OH! Uh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to come off as rude-”

“No, you’re okay! It’s good to have someone who will tell me the honest truth,” I assure her, drawing my knees up so I can rest my chin on them. “I like people like you… I think…”

For some reason, any tension I felt between us is gone, replaced with something… comfortable. Comfortable enough for me to ask a question that’s been on my mind.

“Adeline… when we first met, you were about to say something about my eyes. What was it?” I glance over to see that she’s looking a bit tense. “It’s okay if it was something negative… I have thick skin! Don’t worry, I kind of hate them too.” I shrug a little at her surprise. “They make people uncomfortable… and they make me feel like I’m… not…”

_ Human. _

“I- I like them.”

Adeline’s voice wafts over to me softly, like a warm summer breeze.

“When I first saw them… I thought your eyes were…”

I look back over to see her staring at me. She’s not smiling, she’s not grimacing, she’s just…

_ Admiring me. _

“... stunning.”

…

“Adeline…”

I open my mouth to respond, but my words choke and pile up in my throat. What am I even supposed to say to that? And, is  _ she  _ trying to imply something here?

Adeline smiles to herself, satisfied, and sits back down, crossing her legs. “They remind me of two black holes,” she continues.

_...black holes… _

“They’re deep… and dark…

_ “So deep and dark… so beautiful and-” _

“Beautiful and mysterious.”

_ A-Adeline… _

Her gaze doesn’t leave my face, and her expression becomes serious again. The way she looks at someone special to her, someone  _ sacred- _

_ “I can’t help-” _

“I can’t help-”

_ Please…. _

Soothing tones of a voice, deep within my memory, blending together with the present.

_ “But want nothing more-” _

“But want nothing more-”

_ Stop… no more… _

_ “Than to be…” _

“Than to be…”

_ His mouth curled into a smile. _

Her mouth curls into a smile.

_ “Consumed by you.” _

“Adeline-”

I say her name before she can finish her sentence. She blinks three times, as if drawing herself out of a trace, before closing her mouth, her unspoken words still hanging in the air. “...yes?”

_ … _

_ I- _

_ I can’t- _

Something draws me to her, and I know it’s for all the wrong reasons. Adeline is soft, she’s warm, she’s happy, and when I’m around her, I can’t help but feel happy, too.

But the reason I like her so much… is because, for some reason… I’m desperate to see Julius in someone else.

_ But… maybe… _

I want to reach out and take her hand, to thank her for such a high compliment. I want to tell her how her own eyes shine like gold; like honey; a sweet taste that I forgot long ago. She’s a summer day, she’s a warm pillow I want to bury myself in.

_ But… I’ve already ruined it. _

_ She deserves the whole world… but I’ll never be able to be good enough for her. _

“... so… you like astronomy?”

“...huh?”

“Oh… I thought…. Because of all the black hole stuff-”

“Oh! Yes, I love it!” Adeline snaps out of it and balls up her fists excitedly. I relax a little, realizing only now that I’ve had my jaw clenched the entire time.

_ That was close…. I’m not ready to be faced with this kind of thing. _

_ Not yet, at least. _

“I never got to formally study it, but I’ve read so many books! And sometimes, I sneak away to the observatory,” she explains, pulling out her Grimoire. It’s gold, like her eyes, embossed with spirals and planetary designs. “My magic is tied to the stars… I use them to see flashes of the future. Most of my spells only let me see a single moment or sensation, but this one-”

She flips it open to a specific page.

“ _ Celestial Precognition: Atlas of Time.” _

She starts to glow gold with her mana, and she closes her eyes. I watch, stunned, as the magic washes off of her and onto me like a calming aura. Her smile fades into just a small curve, and it seems like she’s in her element.

“With this spell… I get to see the universe from the perspective of any planet.”

She tilts her head up towards the heavens, as if she were adjusting her view of something I can’t see. 

“I usually do the earth… but sometimes I select a different one, one that’s far, far away. You see… light takes time to travel, even through the vacuum of space. So, by the time our light reaches that planet, it’ll see us differently…”

“Huh…” I look up towards the sky. “But that way, you’d only see our past, right?”

Adeline shakes her head. “No! Because, well- even I’m not sure how it works… but I see us as we  _ will be. _ I think…” She sighs and shakes her head, but doesn’t open her eyes. “I’m not sure it works, either… first of all, I can’t see anything specific. I can see the outline of the earth, but nothing that’s happening on it. However… there’s a point where it stops working.” Finally, her eyes open, and the mana fades. “If I go far enough ahead… everything disappears. The sun, the moon, the earth… the entire universe, gone. All there is…” Her lips curl into a smile before looking back into my eyes. “Oblivion.” 

“Oblivion…” I repeat, just a whisper upon my lips. The word is familiar, yet so alien… something I never want to experience, even though it lays just beneath my feet.

“It makes me think… about the universe. About time... “ I look back over at her as she speaks. “Time is such a weird thing… it gets bent and twisted, by mass and gravity, yet it holds the universe together… and you… you command it.” Adeline cocks her head a little. “You must be blessed… both you and Julius have that gift.”

_ … a gift. _

I look back over the balcony as the sun starts to disappear. The stars are poking out of the inky blackness to the east now.

_ No… Julius’s magic was a gift. But me… I stole this power. I stole his magic, I stole a shard of his soul… and now, I’m paying the price. This pain… _

“Hey! I was wondering!” Adeline suddenly perks up, grabbing my attention again. “Your time magic… can you actually time travel with it?”

“Huh?” I raise an eyebrow at the question. “Time travel… like, going to the future and stuff?”

“And back to the past! I read about all these theories, and I figured you might be someone to ask, since you have time magic and all! Well?” Adeline looks at me expectantly. “Have you ever tried?!”

“I…” I look down at my hand, flexing my palm once. “Well… basically, Time magic allows me to  _ steal  _ time from other people. Just little bits at a time… or a lot, if I want to kill them.”

I clench my fist.

“Then, I can use that store to speed up time, slow it down… stop it entirely, or rewind it. But-” I relax my hand and let it drop back onto my knee. “It only applies to objects… attacks, weapons, or people. Not to…  _ ‘time’  _ itself.” A sigh leaves my lips at the thought. “I guess, even though I have great power over the present, I can’t change anything important.”

“Ah, I see.” Adeline deflates a bit but still looks interested. “Well, I just thought it would be neat… I wish I could time travel!” She giggles. “There’s a thing or two in my life I would like to change… but that doesn’t matter. I’m happy with the way things are now.”

_ The way things are now…  _ I wish I could be happy with them, too. My gaze drops back to my limp hand.  _ All this power… and I wasn’t able to stop the worst thing from happening. Will I even be able to protect the Kingdom against Megicula? _

It’s scary, not knowing what’s going to happen. And if I can’t clear my head and sink deeper into the memories of the past, I won’t be able to prepare the Magic Knights for what promises to be a terrible fight.

“I wish that too, Adeline…”

“Although, it’s probably easier to go to the future than the past-” she keeps talking, clearly excited to share this bit of knowledge. The longer she talks, the harder it becomes to hide my little smile. She’s cute when she’s passionate about something. “In the books I read, the experts say that it can probably be done by something very fast moving around a massive object… gravity warps time, you see, it slows it down. So, if you were orbiting a giant planet with a lot of gravity, for lets say, two days, when you returned here, years could have passed!”

“That sounds a bit ridiculous-” I stifle a giggle. “I mean, no one can go into space, right?”

“Right! It’s all just theoretical, of course.” Adeline looks up at the stars as she continues. “It would be fun, though, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know… the future is a bit scary. What if I miss something important while I’m gone?” I glance over at her, trying not to stare too obviously. “So, it’s harder to go to the past? You can’t just do the gravity thing the other way around?”

“Nope!” Adeline shakes her head. “At least, no one has any solid theories on how it would be possible. I guess time is like a river, always flowing forward. To paddle backwards is a lot harder than to force yourself ahead.” I nod along, kind of understanding what she was implying. Now that the sun is gone, the stress of work today starts to weigh on my limbs, begging me to lay down and close my eyes. I don’t need to sleep… but the baby needs me to.

“And anyway… maybe it’s best if we don’t go back in time.”

Adeline’s voice starts to seem farther and farther away.

“I mean, that would be going against fate, right? And possibly every law in the universe…”

“The laws of the universe?” I blink my eyes slowly. “Who has the right to set those?”

“I don’t know…” Adeline draws her knees up to her chin, her eyes glinting in the last gold of the day. “But… it makes sense to me. If you traveled to the past, you could accidentally prevent yourself from being born. Even the  _ presence  _ of a time traveler could ruin everything.”

“Ruin?”

_ Time travel… god… if only… _

“ _ A single beat of a butterfly’s wings, out of place, could destroy a universe.” _

And suddenly, it’s the middle of the night. I blink my eyes open, a little surprised that I dozed off so quickly. “Hmm? Adeline-”

I realize that I’m still sitting up, despite having been asleep, and the reason for this is that Adeline and I were leaned up against each other, my head on her shoulder. We were balanced so perfectly, so still, that we would not be disturbed in our sleep.

_ I… that was so close… _

But…

_ I liked it… _

With a little smile, I lay my head back on her shoulder and close my eyes, letting myself sink back into a comfortable sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time! Chapter 10: the nightmare. Maybe there's a way to relive the past after all...


	10. the nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter ten, yay!!!!
> 
> Slight warnings: The main character goes through a LOT of self loathing, and has a brief suicidal thought. Also, there's like a slightly sensual implication... you'll see. Nothing too weird I just wanted to preface it with this warning.

“Preparations should be complete within a month. We’re gathering our best Spirit Guardians to train your Knights, and I promise that we will produce major results!”

The Heart Queen is a pretty young woman, who looks about as old as I do, her figure adorned in fine cloaks and medallions. A beauty spot beneath her lip completes her look in the most regal fashion possible. Seeing her sends a chill down my back, even though we only ever meet through a screen. The sight of the crown atop her head makes mine look a little lackluster in comparison. But none of that matters right now.

“Thank you, Lolopechka! You’ve really gone above and beyond for us.” 

Lolopechka smiles gently out at me and shakes her head. “No,  _ you’re  _ the one who will be helping us.”

“We help each other… that’s what allies are for, right?” I smile up at her before turning to the others. All nine captains are here to listen to Lolopechka’s update. “In a month, please have some candidates in mind for the training. They should be the people with the most potential to move up to the 1st or 2nd stage.”

The  _ stage  _ system was a little confusing at first, but it didn’t take long for me to accept it as the best way to rank our magical abilities. My flame magic alone was close, if not already at stage 1. And my Dyad magic, of course, is Arcane. Arcane mages are those whose powers could probably defeat a devil already.  _ But that’s not an excuse for me to slack off.  _

The worst outcome of this situation is that the Spade Kingdom defeats everyone we send at them. We have no idea about any of Megicula’s powers except the fact that it can set curses on people. If Megicula is much stronger than we realized, then our knights will have no defence against the unknown. I’m hoping to stay out of the actual fight and command from afar. But if Megicula and the Spade Kingdom come knocking at our door…

There’s a very real chance that I’ll have to fight it myself. While being seven months pregnant. 

_ So… I need to be strong enough to survive that battle. It might be difficult, but I have to… _

I pick my hand off of my stomach, where it had been laying all this time, as I stand up after the meeting ends. 

_ For me… for Julius. _

And that leads me to this moment, a moment I’ve been dreading this whole meeting. Each of the captains says goodbye, filing past me and out into the corridor. I smile and nod at each of them, but extend my arm to stop the last woman from passing.

“Dorothy… do you have a few moments?”

_.… oh god… this is going to go badly, I already know it… _

“Hmm? Yes, of course!” Dorothy stops in her tracks, bouncing a bit as she turns to look up at me. I’m not the tallest, but somehow I almost have to bend over to look her in the eye. The small witch has been awake for the last few meetings, a pleasant contrast to her usual slumber. She has a cheery, bubbly personality, and a smile that almost forces my anxiety out of my mind.

_ Almost. _

“There’s… something I wanted to ask.”

_ … _

Dorothy blinks up at me, her smile only fading slightly when she catches a glimpse of my worry through my face.

“Your dream magic… it allows you to create anything within your Glamour World, right?”

_ Oh god oh god. _

This is going to sound bad, I know it. But I’m on my last straw. The meditation training has gone nowhere so far, only making me stress out more and feel hopeless. 

“Yeah! Anything I want… I can even manifest things from your mind, if you go in there. Why do you ask? Do you need me to simulate something for you?”

I’m scared of the future. Not just for me, but for the Kingdom. Each day goes by smoothly, too smoothly, and gives me too much time to worry about the war looming on our horizon. People could die, my friends could die, civilians could die. If there’s  _ any  _ information about the Devils laying in the Simulcian’s past, I’m sure it will help us.

Because, I know… if anyone dies, it will be my fault. I’m the Wizard King, and I promised that I would protect this Kingdom with every ounce of my life.

_ Every… single ounce. _

If my death leads to our victory… I will accept that.

“Can you… let me see Julius?”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last night, Adeline and I stayed up late, trying our best to clear my head and sink into the meditative state I crave. As the hours passed, it got harder and harder, until I was afraid to close my eyes for even a moment.

_ “Maybe… I know why it’s been so hard for you.” _

I can remember how it felt as she held me, my body giving out and exhausted. I wanted to cry, to let all my emotions out, but I  _ couldn’t. _

_ “My grief, right?” _

Grief. 

No, it’s something more than that. More than loss, more than emptiness. Something I don’t have words to describe. Yet, it’s a feeling that’s distinctly  _ human.  _ And maybe that’s why I can’t bring myself to emote, why I can’t let my emotions show. Because I’m not human.

_ Why… why did Julius leave this to me? His Kingdom full of humans, left to someone who will never truly care about the affairs of humans? _

It was then that the tears started to fall.

_ How… how can you expect  _ me  _ to be selfless? How can you expect me to be able to protect them? _

I want to protect them, I want nothing more than to die for them. To die just as Julius did, to save countless people and igraine myself as a martyr for all time.

But… I could never do that, right?

_ “I… _

_ I hate myself.” _

The words are sour in my mouth. Foreign. All my life, all I could ever feel towards myself was  _ love.  _ I loved myself, more than almost anything. But that was because Julius loved  _ me,  _ right? And his soul loved me too… 

But now, that love has faded, extinguished from this world along with his life.

_ “I hate myself… I hate myself…” _

I could hardly feel Adeline anymore, her words falling onto my deaf ears.

For a brief moment, I looked down, into the void. And it consumed me.

_ It’s a curse, right??? The Dyad’s curse. I flew too close to the sun, and got used to the warmth of its rays. And when I fell back to earth… there’s nothing but the cold. _

Nothing. Not the Kingdom. Not Adeline. Not my friends. Not even the baby. And not myself.

_ I’m the worst… the most selfish person in this world. I stole this position from people who deserved it more than me.  _

_ I’ll never be able to be like Julius… never… never… _

So… what’s the point?

Why even try, if there’s nothing to build even the foundation of hope upon.

“I… I want…”

_ I want to die- _

Fortunately, those words don’t pass my lips. I just cry into Adeline’s shoulder as we sit on the floor of my bedroom. Julius’s cold, empty robe lays folded by my pillow like it always has.

“Grief is hard, I know that. I can’t even begin to imagine how it must feel.”

Adeline’s voice vibrates pleasantly through her chest as I lay my head against it.

“But… maybe what you need is closure. Do you have any idea how to get there?”

_ Closure…  _

Without closure, I’ll never be able to move on, and be strong for the Kingdom. The ultimate enemy I need to defeat isn’t Megicula; it’s  _ me.  _ If I can’t get over my weaknesses, I’ll never be able to protect anyone.

But how am I supposed to get closure.

_ If only… there was a way to talk to him again.  _

_ Wait… _

There is a way. 

_ Oh no… _

\-----------------------------------

“...what?!”

Dorothy’s eyes blow open wider in shock as my words sink in. She opens and closes her mouth a few times before coming to her senses. “I… I don’t know if that’s a good idea…”

“I know, I don’t think so either.” Embarrassed, I avert my eyes, feeling my chest start to tighten. “But… it  _ might  _ help.”

_ That’s right… for the good of the kingdom, I have to feel better. And if this has the  _ slightest  _ chance of making me feel better, I have to try it! _

“Look…” I turn back towards her as I feel her dainty hand gently touch my arm. Dorothy’s cheery aura is gone, concern straining her eyes as she stares up at me. “It might make you feel worse.”

_ … I know that. But I don’t think I could feel any worse than I do now. _

“Please… Dorothy…”

I look down at her with pleading eyes.

She stares up at me for a long moment, then lets out a defeated sigh. “Fine… but I’m not going in there with you.” She reaches down and takes out her Grimoire. “Is thirty minutes okay?”

I nod quickly, giving her a relieved smile. “Yes, that’s perfect… thank you so much.”

“My pleasure.” Something tells me that she doesn’t really mean that. Dorothy gives me one more look before clearing her throat. “Here we go…  _ Dream Magic: Glamour World.” _

A puff of mana, and the meeting room disappears. I blink my eyes a few times as the scene fades in. It’s whimsical, with clouds and sparkles of pink and purple floating through the air. “Wow… this is  _ Glamour World?”  _ I turn around in place, my feet standing firmly upon their own cloud. I’ve never seen this spell purposely, and am not entirely sure how it works. But this is a landscape created for me by Dorothy, specifically for me. And soon…

“Darling! There you are!”

Up until this point, I was nervous and anxious, yes, but also almost  _ giddy  _ at the thought of seeing Julius again. I was sure that seeing him would give me the closure I needed. If I had to, I could return to this place again and again, satiating my need for him even if it was a synthetic remedy. But the moment I hear that voice,  _ his  _ voice… 

My blood runs cold.

Slowly, I turn around, and see a man walking towards me. Tall, blonde, handsome, with a smile that could light up an entire room. One that could light up an entire dark  _ life.  _

And yet…

I can’t bring myself to smile, or even move, as Julius runs to my side, his arms immediately pulling me into a bone-crushing embrace. After a moment, I hesitantly hug back.

_ This is… wrong… _

He pulls back to smile down at me. His eyes still sparkle like they did in life, his unbridled joy plain upon his face. I can’t even resist smiling back, even if I can feel my heart skinking.

Because, even if I can see him, and touch him… it’s not  _ him.  _ The only parts of Julius truly left on this world are a shard of a soul and a baby in my belly.  _ This thing…  _ it isn’t him.

“It’s been far too long…” He smiles gently, but it still breaks my heart. Julius’s hand comes up to cup my face. “You’re the Wizard King, right?”

I blink a few times, then nod slowly. Julius laughs heartily, his eyes closing for a moment. “Well, then, you have a lot to tell me! I want to hear all about it… but not now.”

There’s nothing I can do but stand there, petrified, as Julius leans in, his other arm snaking around my waist and pulling me closer. 

“There’s so much that I want to do with you… now that we’re together again.”

_ Oh… Julius… _

His lips hit mine in a hurried kiss, as if he knows this moment is fleeting, something that will never last, something that will just make the world even worse than it already is. But there’s no way he knows that; he’s just an illusion, a broken dream, despair disguised as hope.

_ This is… _

The clouds turn dark purple, like the sky before a storm. The void grows a little bigger.

But despite that, I close my eyes, and cling to his body like it’s the only thing real in this world. I kiss him back with all my might, giving into my desire, into the temptation and selfishness that threatens to destroy  _ everything.  _

... _ a nightmare. _

“Darling?”

“Hmm?” 

I open my eyes to see him staring down at me with worry. His thumb comes up and brushes something off my cheek; a tear.

“Are you alright?”

I can feel his skin against mine now. His heat. But it’s cold.

“Yeah… I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Julius… please… keep going.”

Twenty minutes later, and we still lay there together in the clouds. I still hold him, and he holds me. 

_ This is just like every night we spent together… every night I slept in his arms, heard him snore away in his sleep. Forgotten sounds, sounds that echo like a curse in my soul… _

“So… how is it? Being Wizard King?”

Julius is just making idle conversation, moving between subjects aimlessly. But the words  _ Wizard King  _ draw my attention. I look up to see him tilt his head to the side curiously, eager to hear. “Not as easy as it seems, hmm?”

“Yeah…”

_ Not as easy… _

“It’s too much paperwork… not enough fighting! Although, I bet you’ll be doing plenty of that soon.” Julius giggles to himself. “But you’ll be great, I know it.”

“... I don’t know…”

“Hmm?” Julius frowns, his smile only fading slightly. “Why wouldn’t you? I picked you, didn’t I?” Julius reaches out and slides his hand over my head, a pat meant to be comforting, but I almost wince.

_ Only ten more minutes… I just want this to end.  _

“...you…”

Thick tears start to bubble up in my throat.

“...made a mistake… I…”

The volcano erupts. My hands desperately try to cover my shame as the tears fall, my body racking with sobs.

_ Fuck… FUCK THIS! _

I want it to end. This nightmare- no- this  _ life.  _

_ But I can’t… I’m trapped… _

“Darling! Ah! What is it?! Mistake!?” Julius’s hands rub my shoulders as he frantically speaks, just as he always did in life. “My sweet, you’re not a mistake! You- AH, I’m sorry! This is something I said, right? Hey, look at me-” His hand tries to grab my chin and gently make me look at him. “How do I make this right-”

“You can’t!”

I bat his hand away and sit up, his face blurry through the veil of tears in my eyes. Anger, frustration, emptiness, it’s finally all coming out, every emotion I had been suppressing until now.

“You can’t make this right… you’re dead!” I cover my face again, not wanting to look at him right now. “You… you died, remember?! And that’s why I’m in this mess! You…” I clench my fist, my hands dropping to my shoulders so I can hug myself. “You died… and left me alone…”

_ It’s a curse… I’m all alone.  _

“Darling-”

_ It’s because of you… that I hate myself. Because… _

“I’ll never be a good Wizard King… I don’t want to be a good Wizard King. I just- I can never do what you did, Julius.” 

My nails start to dig into the flesh of my hand.

“Y-you… why...”

My voice weakens, then sharply erupts again with my next words.

“Why?! Why did you tell me that you loved me more than anything?! Why would you say that, then die for the Kingdom?!”

_ He loved me more than he loved the Kingdom, yet he sacrificed that love for it. _

He can’t answer me. I know he can’t. He’s not  _ Julius.  _ He doesn’t have the answers. But I keep asking anyway, desperate to let the questions out and relieve myself of their frustrations.

Julius died… he didn’t have to die, but he did. He refused to kill Patri, he refused to save himself. A selfless act, and yet…

I can’t look at that act with anything but bitterness. Because now I know, I wish he had let it burn. 

_ It doesn’t matter how many people died… it doesn’t matter who was hurt. All that matters is that we were together. Yet, he betrayed that promise… he betrayed  _ me. 

But he was right.

Julius had no choice but to die. He had no choice but to give up on his love, right? But the thing that makes me feel the worst…

“If I had been there… in your shoes…”

_ I would have done the selfish thing. I know it. _

I take a deep, shuddering breath. It’s quiet. 

“And now… because you’re gone… there’s nothing left for me.”

I relax my hand, looking down at my palm. Blood trickles out of the cuts I accidentally clenched into the skin.

“I… I wish I could have died with you.”

For some reason, saying those words…

It feels good.

_ I’m the Wizard King, yet I’m the most selfish person in the Kingdom.  _

That’s it… the thing I hate most about myself.

“This world is so empty without you… there’s nothing but the memory of your love.”

My voice starts to strengthen again. I let out a breath through my nose, and my eyes close.

“I… I want to destroy it.”

_ There… _

“A world without you… I don’t want it to exist.”

The tears that flow now aren’t hot and angry. They’re cool… almost refreshing.

_ I said it… I admitted it… _

“I want to destroy this world, along with this emptiness. I want to erase it all.”

The words hang in the air, no one around to hear but Julius’s image.

And somehow… I smile.

_ Why… nothing’s changed. _

_ But… I said it.  _

Were those words weighing me down this whole time? Maybe, my obstacle was never my grief, but my self loathing, brought on by an annoying, intrusive thought.

_ I’m selfish… I know that. I’m not human. I know that. I’m evil… _

_ No. There’s no such thing as evil. _

_ And anyway… Julius knew all this about me. And… he still loved me. _

For the first time, I feel a pulse of warmth from within me.

His soul… stirring.

“Darling…”

I feel a hand on my chin, and this time, I don’t resist. I let him draw my gaze back into his. My eyes widen a bit when I realize that he’s been smiling at me this whole time, a relieved, almost comforted smile, despite everything I just said.

“Do you really think… my love is that weak?”

“...huh?”

His eyes close for a moment, as if he’s amused by my confusion. “Listen… My love still exists in this world. And it’s so strong, it will linger for eternity.” His thumbs come up and start to wipe away more tears. “It’s out there… I promise.”

Julius leans in, one last time, as the scene starts to fade away and I’m drawn back into the real world.

Somehow… I know that I’ll be able to face it a little stronger than before.

Maybe this isn’t the closure of my grief. It’s closure for myself.

Because, what am I? 

I’m not human… I don’t even know if I’m a simulcian.

I’m a soul, a soul whose ego has been shattered again and again. A girl who wants nothing more than to give in to the temptation of destruction. 

_ But… now I know… despite that, Julius loved me more than anything. He died for duty, but his love lingers on. _

“You just have to find it.”

_ I will… _

_ I’ll find it, Julius. _

And for the first time in weeks, hope blooms in my chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time!!! Chapter 11: the curse. A second decent into the Simulcian unconscious reveals something sinister: the Dyad's curse runs much deeper than anyone ever thought.


	11. the waning moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad things happen in this chapter-

Silence.

Nothingness.

Emptiness.

But this time, it’s not so bad. It’s not a void that I’m sinking down into. It’s a cocoon, wrapped firmly around my body like a warm hug. It’s  _ safe. _

_ “And… open.” _

I open my eyes, meeting Adeline’s golden gaze as soon as I do. We stare at each other blankly for a moment before her plump lips break into a little grin. “That felt right, didn’t it?”

I nod quickly, excitement filling me. “Yeah… how long was that?”

“Let’s see…” Adeline scrambles to her feet and walks over to the clock. “One fifty three… so, 15 minutes!” She turns back around to look down at me, still sitting cross legged on my bedroom bloor. “That’s the longest yet… you really kept your mind blank that whole time?”

“Totally blank!” With a little difficulty, I rise to my feet. “Now that I can meditate for 15 minutes, that should be more than enough time for me to enter the Septad again.” The thought of attempting that again is still making me a little apprehensive, but not nearly as much as it did before. After confronting the things I hate most about myself, and a superficial image of Julius, I managed to overcome whatever it was that was holding me back. Maybe this is just a momentary high, but I need to take advantage of it while it lasts. “Adeline… thanks for all your help.”

Adeline turns to look at me, her eyes widening as I take her hand. I offer her a gentle smile. “I couldn’t do this without you, you know.”

She stares at me a moment longer, the slightly-shocked expression still on her face. “Oh… thank you.” Finally, she gives my hand a squeeze, holding on for a moment longer than she could have. “That means a lot… if I can do anything to help you, and- er, the Kingdom, I will!”

I can’t help but giggle a little at her awkwardness as she removes her hand. “You don’t have to be so proper about it, Adeline.” I give her a nudge before walking over to the table. “I want to become friends with you, you know…”

“Huh? Friends?” Adeline’s words follow me, causing my smile to widen. 

“Yeah, if that’s okay with you.”

I haven’t known her long, but I can’t deny that I want her by my side all the time… she’s a comfort, a source of warmth that I desperately need. No matter what the source of these feelings are, I want to kindle that flame… I’ll let it burn away my grief and guilt. 

“Here, I got some wine! You mentioned you liked Rose, right?” I quickly snatch the bottle off the table and hold it up for her to see. I have to suppress a cheeky grin.  _ Hehe! I’m so smart, setting this all up for us~ I cried in front of her way too many times, I need to show her that I’m more emotionally stable than she thinks! _

“OH! You remembered!” Adeline’s eyes sparkle at the sight of the bottle, but then, to my shock, narrow with skepticism. 

“But… you won’t be drinking with me, will you?”

I blink a couple times, then realize that Adeline must be more observant than she lets on. “Oh… you noticed?”

Adeline nods quickly, her playful nature coming back. “Of course I noticed! You never have any alcohol at dinner, or when you have guests, or when you’re working. That’s so responsible of you! I really admire your willpower.”

“Oh… yeah. Thank you, I try my best…”

I gulp nervously, knowing full well that the reason for my sobriety isn’t because I’m responsible or anything… if I wasn’t pregnant, I know I would have drowned in whiskey by now.  _ I guess it wouldn’t be much fun if she was the only one drinking- but it’s not like I have a choice-  _ I get a momentary itch to tell her about the baby, but for some reason I can’t do it. Not now, at least.

“Well, I appreciate the gift! But I need to let you sleep! It’s nearly two in the morning!” Adeline is suddenly pushing me towards my bed with an admonishing tone. “Come on, you’re already wearing pajamas.”

“Whoa- wait-” I blush a little but don’t struggle. “Adeline, you know I don’t need to sleep as much as-”

“Yeah, yeah, all that Simulcian magic stuff-” Adeline cuts me off, very business-like. “Like I said, it’s my job to help the Kingdom, and the King! So go to bed!” She steps back and gives me a tired look as I sheepishly pull the covers over myself. My face is basically burning right now. Part of me wishes she would leave, but the other part…

_ … wishes she would stay. _

“Honestly… you get up so early, too.” She shakes her head, but can’t help but smile smugly to herself as she looks down at me.  _ What’s going on in her head?! Does she pity me? Or does she think I’m cute…  _ “What are you even doing? I can never find you around the castle.”

“Oh, in the mornings?” My face brightens up a bit. “I’m training!”

“Training? But, aren’t you already the most powerful mage?” Adeline asks, curiosity peaked.

“Well, maybe, but that doesn’t mean I can defeat a devil. Look-” I sit up and reach over to my bedside table, picking up a heavy book. Adeline cranes her neck to see the cover. “That’s about the Heart Kingdom?”

“Yeah.” I start flipping through the pages, dust falling out and onto my bedspread. “The mages in the Heart Kingdom draw mana from nature… they have quite a few techniques for doing so, and it can greatly amplify mana. For instance, my fire magic-” I stop on a page, covered with ancient-looking writing, and point at an illustration of a hand with fire magic bursting out of it. The fire itself is surrounded by a ring of those runes. “You can apply mana writing to your magic… draw your mana from the earth… and turn Fire magic into  _ True  _ Fire Magic.” I glance up at Adeline to gauge her reaction. She’s intrigued.

“Amazing… so…” She tears her gaze from the page. “Have you mastered it yet?”

“Mastered? No, not quite… but…” I close the book and brush the dust off my lap. “I _ want _ to master it… soon, we’ll be sending our own Knights to learn the natural mana method. But before that, I want to show them how powerful it truly can be.”

I run my fingers over the ancient bindings.

“And then… I want to try and draw out even more power.”

_ That power… I want it. _

_ True Time Magic.  _

With that… I wonder what I could be capable of.

“Anyway, goodnight Adeline.” I turn to smile up at her one last time. “I promise I’ll sleep in tomorrow for once… thank you for all your help.”

Adeline straightens up, her eyes lingering on my face before she turns away to leave.

“Goodnight! And it was my pleasure.”

The door swings shut, and darkness falls. I’m alone at last.

_ … I’ve cleared my mind. Tomorrow, I’ll go back to the village, and find the truth of the SImulcian’s history with the Devils! _

Last time, I almost accomplished what I wanted, but I was shown something else, something unrelated, as far as I could tell. My grandparents, the last Dyad before me and Julius, standing there on the beach together in the sunset.

_ Our fate. _

_ I wonder… _

I close my eyes, drifting off as I curl up around Julius’s robe. 

_ … if they were trying to tell me something. _

_ \------------------------------------------- _

I keep my promise to Adeline, letting myself sleep in until around eight in the morning. My stomach is what eventually wakes me, a familiar pang of strong nausea attacking me again and again. “Ughh… settle down!” I groan, rolling over and balling up the robe/blanket in one of my fists. “You can’t be that big yet… So why are you so painful?!”

The baby, of course, can’t answer, not yet at least. Maybe in a couple years I can demand an explanation, but that’s miles down the road as far as I’m concerned. But for now, I have to deal with it. 

Eventually, I drag myself out of bed and to the bathroom. Fortunately it seems like I won’t have to throw up, so I decide to treat myself to a nice bath. The hot water sends a pleasant chill down my back, and I sink down into the bubbles up to my neck.  _ Ahh… that’s more like it!  _ I smile and close my eyes, feeling more relaxed than I had the entire night. I’m itching to get up and get moving, to go out into the woods and get some training in before my first meetings, but it’s far too late for that. Marx is awake by now, and if I disappear, I’ll be getting calls every two seconds.

It’s a shame, because I just found the perfect place to train. I stumbled upon a ravine, completely by accident, in the middle of the woods one morning. It was so deep, I couldn’t even see the bottom. But, I could feel mana radiating out of it in waves, beautiful, natural mana: just what I needed. So… I jumped in.

I never did find the bottom, but I found a nice ledge to sit on while I fired off all manner of spells. Just being down there,  _ bathing  _ in it all… it reminded me of my youthful days spent in the woods, sitting by the stream, and honing what little magic I had.

One day… I’ll reach the bottom of that ravine. But for now, it serves a purpose. My handle on True Flame magic is developing quickly. I smile a little as I think about it before lifting my hand up out of the water. Within a moment, blue flame erupts from my fingers, condensing before twisting into letters. Ancient runes: Mana words. The basis of the Heart Kingdom’s mana method, and the key to unlocking the potential within my magic.

_ True Time Magic…  _

Suddenly, my flame flickers out. I don’t even have a chance to be surprised before it hits me.

_ Pain. _

It’s like a light; blinding, searing its way into the left side of my head. All my other senses dull, drowned out by the sheer potency of this feeling.

_ Pain. _

Am I screaming? I have no idea. I can’t hear. I can’t feel.

_ Oh… this… _

The light gets brighter and brighter. Fire burns into my mind, shards from a shattered ego piercing every inch of my psyche.

_ This is… _

And suddenly, it’s over.

My whole body goes limp, having convulsed and tightened up more than I realized during the episode. With a shallow gasp, I fall backwards, and hit my head  _ hard  _ on the porcelain edge of the tub.

By the time I wake up, the water is cold, and someone is knocking on my door.

_ “Are you in there?! _

Every cell in my body protests as I sit up again, faster than I should have, but it’s not like I have a choice.  _ What the hell was that?!  _ I think, shakily standing up, using the wall as a support. “I-I’m in here! I’ll be right out!”

With a little difficulty, I pull my bathrobe on, glancing at myself in the mirror before doing a double take. “Oh no… not again…”

There’s dried blood coming out of my nose, dripping down my chin.

_ “Are you sure you’re alright?”  _

“Hold on one second!”

I wet a towel and wipe away the blood, then throw it into the sink before running to my bedroom door. Whatever just happened, I don’t have time to worry about it. Even so, pain like that… the last time I felt it, was during the first few Dyads with Julius. Back when I was weak, and almost died from the force of his mana. But, Julius is dead, the only Dyad that exists is between me and a tiny shard of his soul.

Is it something pregnancy related? Or…

_ It doesn’t matter. I have to get through today, then I’ll go see Owen. _

“Thank god- what are you even doing in there?” Marx scowls up at me as I open the door. “I’ve been knocking and knocking- everyone’s worried about you, you know!”

“Oh? Well, I’m coming out now. Uh-” I glance over and see my cape laying on the ground, and quickly scoop it up. “There!” I throw it over my bathrobe and give Marx a grin that he does not reciprocate. “How do I look.”

Marx’s scowl only deepens as he rolls his eyes. “Put on something better! You don’t look like the Wizard King in…  _ that.” _

“Actually!” I give him a smirk. “I can’t  _ not  _ look like the Wizard King, technically…”

My voice trails off, leaving an awkward silence between the two of us. But right as I think the joke has fizzled out, Marx’s scowl melts into a smile, and a little chuckle manages to leave his throat. “I suppose you’re right… well, in any case, you might get a bit cold.”

“Hehe, I knew you were just pretending to be mad.” I slip on some shoes and follow him out, already forgetting about the still-full tub in my bathroom, clouds of blood still dissolving away into the way. “I promise I’ll be done with my work early today, and  _ then  _ I’ll change. After all, I want to go back out to the village today.”

“The village?” Marx’s eyes widen a little as we walk. “You think you’re ready?”

“More than ready!” I grin, but stop short when I realize that Marx has fallen behind. He stares at me with a weird look in his eyes, but his lips still hold a curious smile. “What?”

He doesn’t speak for a moment, then slowly shakes his head.

“I don’t know… it just… you seem happy.”

_ … happy? _

Marx lets out a sigh, almost relieved as I don’t immediately try to dispute his observation. “I’m happy for you…” His smile becomes a bit more sly as he moves again, passing me. “Whatever the  _ source  _ of that happiness might be…”

I turn and follow him with my eyes, before I realize what he’s implying.

“OH! Uh- Marx!”

He raises an eyebrow as I run up next to him, almost frantic. “Me and Adeline- er, there’s nothing going on between us, I swear!” I let out a nervous laugh, but start to panic when I feel heat rushing to my cheeks.  _ Oh god-  _ “I mean, we barely know each other, and-” I try not to remember how I tried (and failed) to get her to stay longer last night. “Well- um… er…”

Marx pulls me from my frenzy as he lets out a  _ giggle.  _ A sound so foreign, coming from  _ him,  _ that keeps me from panicking further. “I wasn’t trying to imply anything… in any case, I’m happy for you, alright?” His hand comes up and squeezes my shoulder, his smile becoming genuine. “That’s all I want.”

The heat fades, and I find myself smiling back. “Thank you, Marx…”

I reach up and squeeze the hand on my shoulder.

_ I don’t know how to say it… but I can never replace you. Marx… my dearest friend. _

If being happy makes his pain even a little less… then I will try my best to stay that way.

\------------------------------

“Look who’s back! Look who’s back!”

The sun is dipping low by the time the three of us land back at the Simulcian village, and a crowd greets us at the outskirts just like our last visit. “Hey everyone!” I smile and wave still feeling both excited and  _ pumped  _ for the experiment to come. “I hope I’m not dropping in at an inconvenient time?”

“Not at all!” five of them chorus in unison. “We knew you’d be back soon… would you like to come inside and meet your septad again?”

I exchange a glance with Marx, who still looks a bit nervous. Then, I turn to Adeline, who gives me a nod, her eyes determined. That determination fills me as well.

“Absolutely.”

The crowd ushers us through the street and to the “town hall,” where our last synchronization occurred. On the way, we pass the giant statue of Simulcia, and I see that they’ve painted more of her wings. I smile a little at the sight, the whitish-blue reminiscent of the mana I produce. But at the same time…

The orange sunset streaks across the wood. But her eyes remain as black and empty as ever. She’s just a statue, yet...

There’s something… deeply ominous about them.

The door closes behind me, and once again I’m standing in front of a group of six women: the sextad.  _ It’s as if they knew I was coming!  _ I think to myself, gulping nervously once before stepping towards them with a smile on my face. “Uh, good evening, ladies. I hope this goes better than last time…”

Despite the fact that the prior fiasco is still very much fresh in our memories, they all return my smile and bow a little. “Of course it will! You’ve been practicing, right?”

“Yep!” I grin, coming to a stop as they turn to form a circle, this time with me at the apex. Their marks are glowing slightly on different parts of their body: right hand, left hand, chest, stomach, right knee, left knee… and mine is on my face.  _ I guess, when the seven of us come together, we create a replica of Simulcia… and that’s how we can dive down into their memories.  _ Thinking about the mechanisms behind this makes my head spin, so I stop.

“Ready?”

“Ready!”

I pull out my Grimoire, letting it flip open to the correct page. The paper makes a soft  _ fwip  _ with every page, and I take that last moment to lock eyes with Adeline once more. She offers me another confident smile, but I can’t ignore the worry that’s now seeped onto her face as well.

_ Is this going to work?  _

There’s no way she can hear me, but my thoughts reach her. 

_ Of course. I believe in you.  _

“Alright… here we go.”

I turn back to the others, and close my eyes.

_ “Dyad Magic: Septad Creation.” _

Mana builds up. It’s moving, fast, an endless cycle between our minds, bodies, and souls.

_ Please… work. _

_ Please- _

I cease to exist, and the seven of us become one. Memories fly by, faster and faster, a stream of consciousness long forgotten and left broken in the dark. My own memories are mixed in, memories of light and love, but this time, I don’t let myself remember.

_ Silence. _

_ Nothingness. _

_ Emptiness. _

I open my eyes, and the septad is mine. Once again, I stand in the dark void, the only sounds being that of seven hearts pumping at once.

_ I did it… everything is stable. _

_ Now… _

_ Show me the devi- _

Before I can even finish my sentence, something looms out of the darkness. It’s tint is even deeper than the void, something so unearthly and terrifying, something that  _ shouldn’t exist.  _

There’s giggling around me. I turn around, and realize that more of these creatures, of varying sizes and shapes, have surrounded me, all jumping around in place, laughing and shooting toothy grins at me. They’re terrible, and every hair on my body starts to stand up. The ground trembles under my feet with fear.

_ Stay calm… this is a memory. Not reality. _

There’s a dull pain in the left side of my face. I ignore it.

_ “You… fool.” _

The deep voice catches my attention. I whirl around to see a creature looming above the rest, their red eyes narrowed in their face. Four horns curl and curve up out of it’s hair, imposing and  _ evil.  _

_...who are you?! _

_ “Do you really think… this is worth it?” _

When his lips move, I can see the sharp teeth lining his gums. The teeth of an apex predator.

_ “You can’t possibly… defeat us  _ all.”

He raises his hand, and the world crashes down on me.

_ “What could possibly be worth it?” _

Crushing weight hits me, but before I can feel any pain, it’s over. I blink a few times as a bright light envelops me, and I realize that I’m once again standing on the beach in Raque.  _ Shit! Not again! Stop bringing me to this recent time-  _

However, one look up the shore, and I see that this is not the same scene I saw before. It’s noon, probably, the sun high in the sky. There’s no buildings, the resort is nowhere to be found.  _ Huh… this is the same beach, but a different time? Then, why- _

I look down, and realize that I’m not alone.

A man is standing there. His clothes are simple, and he looks like he hasn’t shaved for a week. His hair is dirty, salt clinging to each strand pulled back into his ponytail. He’s shorter than me, significantly, and a fishing pole lays on the ground at his feet, where he just dropped it.

He’s… frozen. His feet are glued to the ground, but his hands shake. He looks almost poised to escape, but he can’t bring himself to.

_ But… _

His eyes are wide, but they hold no fear. The look within them is deeply familiar.

Excitement… boyish excitement. 

He’s smiling.

_ Why… _

_ … why would you look at something like me… with a smile? _

And why… Why do I already know who he is?

Without thinking about it, I reach out. And, like a mirror, he reaches out (Well,  _ up _ ) as well.

Why does this feel like the most important moment of my life?

He takes my hand in his, and suddenly, the beach is gone. Now, I’m looking up at him. The air is chilled with the water from the stream, and the wind blows through the bank covered with white cornflowers.

He smiles.

But before he pulls me to my feet, I let go. I let out a strangled cry and turn to run away. Memories are pouring in after the still of that quiet moment- memories of  _ him,  _ his face, his touch, his voice,  _ everything,  _ over and over and over-

_ He’s gone, he’s gone, HE’S GONE- _

The world is shaking again, screams and cries echoing through my head. The pain gets worse, something bisecting my very soul.

_ Stop it, stop it, STOP- _

“Breathe.”

The screams pause as the soft voice wafts through my mind. Ever so faintly, I can feel a warm hand on the small of my back, and a head resting on my shoulder.

_ “There’s nothing… nothing but your breath. Focus.” _

_ No… that’s wrong… _

There are new memories now; soothing memories. Adeline’s smile, the way she could ramble on for hours about the stars. How warm her hugs were, how she stroked my hair when I cried. Her hands are so soft… and her lips… they look soft, too.

_ Adeline… there’s nothing but  _ you. 

Everything is still, the warmth enveloping me like a cocoon.

_ There’s nothing… nothing but- _

“NO”

A voice rocks through the world, echoing and screeching all around me. With a cry, I fall to my knees, pain erupting once again on that side of my face. I cover my ears and grit my teeth, tears starting to squeeze their way out of my eyes. I look up slightly to see a pair of people floating above me. Hand in hand, their eyes glowing bright white.

They are my grandparents, the Dyad that came before me. A blue moth flutters around them, lazily, but still gives off the same vibe as a shark circling its drowning prey.

“There is nothing… but Julius.”

I open my mouth to respond, but I can’t. The pain spikes, and I collapse, face first, onto the ground.

“You are a DYAD… and that’s all you can ever be. Don’t you understand?”

The only sound I can make is a gargled scream. I can taste blood now.

“You have been blessed, but now it’s time for your life to end.”

_ What?! What are they talking about!  _ I weakly make a fist, my hands trembling uncontrollably.

“A Dyad is supposed to die together… it is bound so tightly by fate, that is the only option. This pain you feel… it is your  _ soul _ , trying desperately to die.”

_ No… no! That can’t be it, why is this happening  _ now-

“It is only a matter of time… before it succeeds.”

They start to disappear. Panic rises like a tsunami within me, and I prop myself up before they disappear. “WAIT! You can’t just say that then leave- why-”

They’re gone, nothing but screams in their wake. With a frustrated yell, I ball up my fist again and slam it into the ground. 

_ Die… my soul is dying? _

The ground cracks like glass, and I fall. This time, I tear my eyes away from the light above, that warm, soft light that could have pulled me out. This time, I look down into the abyss, and it smiles up at me. I belong to it, now.

_ Somehow… I knew, didn’t I? I’m nothing… nothing but half of something beautiful that once existed. _

I can’t accept it… I can’t! I’m more than Julius, I’m more than the Dyad, I’m the  _ Wizard King! _

But, it’s not up to me, in the end. My magic, my whole  _ life,  _ my power… it’s all because of the Dyad, and the person I made it with. It was a blessing, and now…

A curse.

_ No matter how hard I tried, I could never find closure. I could never separate myself from  _ him.

I am nothing. I am a broken ego. I am  _ inhuman.  _

_ Silence. _

_ Nothingness.  _

_ Emptiness. _

But this time, they’re cold. They are  _ dead.  _

_ And they are inevitable. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god oh fuck. Next time!!! Chapter 12: the death of a world. Nobody would take that news well... and unfortunately, neither does our dear main character. Will she give into temptation? Or wait for her inevitable death quietly.


	12. the death of a world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC considers ending the world

Soft wind across my face eventually wakes me from my fitful sleep. I silently let my eyes flicker open, blinking a few times as the dark sky comes into focus. 

“Thank god… Marx, she’s awake!”

“She is?!”

Two faces peer down at me now: Marx and Adeline. The wind blows through their hair and the stars streak above them. We’re moving… on something. Whatever I’m laying on, it’s soft, but chilled by the night air. 

“Are you alright?”

A soft hand comes down to stroke my cheek, as tender as a mother’s touch. However, my body moves on its own, jerking my head to the side to end the blissful contact. “Y-Yeah-” My throat feels cracked and dry, the words struggling to find purchase. “Where are we?”

“On our way back to the Castle,” Marx replies, his whisper strained yet relieved. “We’re on a carpet, since you were knocked out.”

_ Oh. Right…  _ The metallic taste in my mouth and the pounding headache in my right eye help me remember what happened. The dream, the Dyad… and…

_ My curse. _

Neither of them talk to me much the rest of the way back, and for that I’m grateful. Everything is a mess inside of me, even my soul now, apparently. Each of them take one of my arms as we land, and gently guide me inside and down the hall. “You need sleep-” Adeline starts to say, but her words fall short as I shake my head. “No?”

“I can’t sleep,” I tell her, my voice still quietly hoarse. “Take me to my office.”

“Are you sure?” Marx’s brows furrow, and he almost looks heartbroken. I avoid his gaze and nod minutely, and he has no choice to obey me. Finally, I watch from my office couch as the door swings shut with a loud  _ clack.  _ I’m alone.

I close my eyes, breathing deeply a few times so as to not start panicking. 

First of all: is this curse actually real? Or was that just some weird hallucination in the dream? No matter how far I search, I can't find an answer other than  _ yes.  _ The painful episodes I've had lately, centering around the left side of my mark, feel like they could kill me at any time. If that's really my soul trying to leave this world, then I have the feeling that I would definitely die if I didn't resist it. In addition to that, one side of my mark has dulled, Julius's side. My Mark is the source of my power; it  _ is  _ my life force. And now, it signifies what I always feared: I am less than a whole. I am, maybe, half of a soul. My Ego is gone, shattered too many times as I greedily took more and more power. 

Without it… there's nothing to keep me here. 

So… how long do I have? Is there anything I can do to stop it before I die?

…

No answers pop into my head, no matter how long I lay there. I wish I had invited Marx or Adeline to stay, because, right now…

_ I… I’m alone.  _

I’m alone with nothing but the dread that signifies the end of my life.

_ So… right as I achieved everything… right as I thought I could be a mother… right as I thought I could move on and find new love… _

_ New love. _

It’s something I never thought I wanted. Julius was all I needed… but that didn’t mean that I had to be alone until I rejoined him on the other side. I wanted to feel warmth again, to make someone else happy again. Maybe things wouldn’t be the same, but that was alright. Different was good…

But now, that dream is over. I’m going to die, just as lonely and alienated as I’ve always been.

_ “Do you really think… my love is that weak?” _

Those words echo in my ears. Once, they were a comfort, but now…

_ No, Julius… your love is so strong, it’s killing me. _

My own life isn’t the only thing that hangs in the balance, either. This child I carry,  _ my  _ child… I wished for this baby so hard, for so many years. But now, the last piece of Julius that exists will die with me.

_ This is hopeless. I’ve failed… spectacularly. _

What am I supposed to do now? I can’t let anyone know… but at the same time, at least I have warning. A new Wizard King will have to be chosen, and then there’s the war with Spade- Am I even going to live that long?! Even now, my will to hold on is slipping, the utter hopelessness of the situation starting to drown me. 

I was doomed to fail from the beginning. And now, there’s nothing I can do but wait and scrounge up  _ some  _ kind of preparation. 

_ Julius… _

_ I wish you were here… _

Hot tears start to bubble up in the corners of my eyes.

_ You would know what to do… you always knew exactly what to do.  _

But, if he were here, I wouldn’t be in this situation, right? Everything would be the same as it always was, I wouldn’t be dying, I would have a long, happy life ahead of me, a life with him and our child. 

_ If only… there was a way to see you again.  _

Just one more time. Just… one look. 

My eyes close, veiling the world in darkness. The strained, tired, and thin threads of my mind stretch farther and father, to every corner of my psyche, desperate for an answer.

_ The answer. _

It’s there…

_ If only… _

Someone said something, once…

_ I had the power… _

The darkness deepens, my consciousness close to giving out.

_ To turn back time. _

Everything stops. 

_ But… I do? _

_ No. _

_ I can achieve the illusion of time reversing, by removing time from an object, person, or attack. _

_ But… What if I were able to remove time from the entire world? _

My eyes flicker open again, widening as light pours back into the world. Adeline’s worlds from our first meditation session flood my ears.

_ “I guess time is like a river, always flowing forward. To paddle backwards is a lot harder than to force yourself ahead.” _

True… I can already manipulate time and mana in order to see seconds ahead in the future, which allows me to dodge even the fastest attacks. Julius taught me how. However, I never thought about looking  _ back…  _ but the more I think about it, the dots don’t connect. With what I have now, it’ll be impossible for me to fight the tides of time and travel against them.

_ What about True Time Magic? Will that let me go back in time? _

My heart starts to pound, and I sit up. There’s something akin to adrenaline in my veins, as if I’ve found some forbidden secret. Did Julius ever think about it? If there was a way to apply our magic to the fabric of time?

_ I don’t know… it might still not be enough. _

I still haven’t figured out how to apply the natural time magic I was just beginning to wield, so that is immediately pushed to the back of my mind. There’s one possibility left, one tool that only I have the power to possess, and what might be the key to traveling back in time.

_ Because… just  _ time  _ might not be enough. _

It’s possible for me to take someone else’s magic and combine it with my own to create something new, something that could potentially execute the plan that’s slowly forming in my mind. I doubt I’ll be able to form a full-fledged  _ Dyad _ in my current state, since I’m currently still  _ in  _ one with the shard of Julius still within me. But I can form a  _ Triad.  _ And as long as the Triad is intact, I can take control and do whatever I want.

_ But… What kind of magic would I need? What could possibly combine with my magic and make it easier for me to move back in time? _

It’s becoming clear that I need to do some research. In one swift move, I rise from the couch and stride towards the door, something new fueling my movements with purpose. Because, for the first time in weeks, my mind isn’t muddled with doubts, stress, or guilt.

No… All I see is him. There was never anything other than him.

And I’m going to get him back.

\----------------------------------

“Hello? Anyone in here?”

Adeline pokes her head into the library, not expecting to find anyone. It’s late afternoon, a day after we returned, and she’s starting to get worried. The sudden disappearance of the Wizard King sprung everyone into a panic, especially Marx, who ordered a thorough search of the castle, top to bottom. Adeline bit her lip, her heart sinking, before starting to turn to leave.

“Wait! Adeline?!”

She froze, turning just in time for me to poke my head around the corner of a tall bookshelf. Her eyes widen at the sight of me. “Oh! Do you have any idea how many people are searching for you-”

“Adeline! Just the girl I was looking for-” She lets out a squeak as I rush forward, grabbing her hand and dragging her with me through the maze of shelves. “I was just about to leave and look for you- I think you’ll find this interesting! I’ve been doing some research, see-”

I finally skid to a stop by my favorite reading nook, nestled in the very back of the library. Books and papers are stacked everywhere, strewn across the floor and piled up in chairs. Adeline stands there, shocked, before looking back at my excited face. I know I must look terrible; This new burst of energy forced me to stay up all night and all day, and I haven’t eaten anything either. But none of that matters; only the mission matters.

“What are you doing?! You’ve been in here all day?” Adeline opens and closes her mouth a few times, aghast. “You could have at least told someone where you were… and now your work is going to get backed up, too-” 

“So? This is more important.” I grab one of the big books and hold it up. “See… I’ve gone through every book in our astronomy/cosmology section. Looking for the answer… and I think I found it! I just want to know if you agree-”

“Answer? Answer to what?” 

I ball up my fists excitedly. “Time travel… to the past! To move backwards, to force my way against the flowing river of time… I need more than just time, right?!” Adeline opens her mouth to respond, but I’m not done. “Because  _ time  _ isn’t actually real… It's  _ spacetime  _ that makes up the universe. The 3 dimensions and time combined into one, everlasting fabric… fabric that can be torn and stretched and bent- And if I want to manipulate spacetime and move to a point in the past, I need  _ gravity!” _

Adeline doesn’t say anything for a moment, but something in her eyes darkens. 

_ Disappointment?  _

_ Or just sadness? _

I take a few steps forward, blind to it. “Adeline, tell me… I have the power to take magic and combine it with my own. That’s how I got my time magic. So… if I can find someone with Gravity Magic, do you think it would be possible?”

…

“...why?”

“Hmm?” I blink, my expression faltering. 

Adeline’s gaze moves out of my own, avoiding it like the plague.

“Why would you  _ want  _ to go back in time?”

I feel ice in my veins again, the creeping feeling that something is wrong. “... Adeline-”

“Answer my question!” Her gaze snaps back up to me, determination glinting in it. The command catches me off guard, and I stand there dumbly for a moment. “I’ll answer yours first… I think so. Maybe. I don’t know what your power really is, but-”

“Why do you think I want to go back?” I cut her off, a shot of joy jolting through me, momentarily melting the ice. “To save Julius, of course…” Her reaction tells me that she already knew this. “To get us out of this mess-”

“What mess?” Adeline cuts me off again, and I notice one of her fists clench at her side. I’m starting to pick up on it now: frustration. Somehow, I’ve upset her, and it’s starting to dawn on me how. “There  _ is  _ no mess… you’re an amazing person, you’re an amazing King, you’ve already started to move past your grief, through meditation-”

She trails off as all remaining excitement extinguishes itself from my face.

“... Adeline… you don’t understand anything.”

She blinks, her golden eyes wavering in their sockets.

“This isn’t something I can fix through meditation. I refuse to just…  _ sit here.  _ The only way I can fix this is to bring him back.”

_ Adeline… I’m sorry. _

The promise of a new life… a new love. It was never viable in the first place, was it? As tragic and frustrating as it is… I have to let it go.

“I already have a Gravity Magic user I can use.” An old friend… well, maybe an old _ rival  _ is a better description. Who knew that Horatio would serve such a purpose now. “I promise… I’ll find you. I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

I have the information I need. It’s best that I leave now. Adeline doesn’t move as I brush past her, grabbing my robe from where it lays on the arm of a couch as I pass it. It isn’t until I’m almost out of the room that she snaps back to her senses and turns to follow me.

“WAIT!”

Adeline grabs my shoulder before I can leave, the words spilling out all at once. They’re choked with emotion,  _ anguish,  _ but they fly out with that same focus and determination that she always possesses when she’s talking about something she truly cares about.

“If you go back in time, if it’s even  _ possible,  _ you could cause serious damage-”

“So? Damage to what?”

“LISTEN! I told you before…  _ a single beat of a butterfly’s wings, out of place, can destroy the universe.” _

I raise an eyebrow, remembering the phrase from our last conversation about this. “What does that even mean?!”

Adeline starts to look annoyed. “If you go to the past and change something critical, what happens to all of  _ us  _ here in the present?!”

The possibility does give me pause. But for just a moment.

_ Nothing matters. None of it. _

“... I would assume that you would stop existing.”

Adeline gulps nervously as I turn to look her in the eye, a chill noticeably moving through her body.

“...exactly. You would effectively destroy us all.”

_ It doesn’t matter. _

“But… also…” Her words waver as they leave her lips, and the edges of her eyes start to water.

“If you save Julius… you eliminate the reasons for the trip in the first place. You’d be a paradox… and who knows what would happen to you.” For the first time, her voice actually breaks. “Y-You could die.... Horribly…”

_ … I’m already going to die horribly. What’s the difference? _

There’s nothing more to say. I pull my shoulder from her grasp and start to walk away.

_ “I don’t care.” _

Adeline doesn’t cry out for me again. She knows it’s useless.

_ I don’t care if I die. I don’t care if I have to destroy the world. If that’s what it takes to create a perfect world, I’ll do it without a second thought. _

The castle is abandoned by now, and I pause for a moment by an open window. The sun is setting, orange streaking through the sky.  _ Funny… wasn’t it just sunset a couple minutes ago? I guess I whittled the day away in the library. Just like the good old days… _

Back then, Julius and I spent hours alone together in the library, sometimes just sitting in silence, sometimes discussing something interesting he found in a book. Even before we were together… the tension and the weight between us was something obvious… something inevitable.

_ Just like this. _

Horatio Chessman, age 27. We hail from the same town, where he used to bully me mercilessly for my low magic levels. He originally joined the Silver Eagles, but got kicked out when he suffered a devastating injury. But he didn’t give up; he tried again, and rejoined as a Crimson Lion King. And that’s where he remained.

Most importantly, Horatio has gravity magic. Exactly what I need.

Instinctively, I move towards the open window.

_ He’s right there… I’ll go right now. _

The air is so still. People are settling in for the night. Perhaps that night will be longer than they expected.

_ I’ll take control of gravity… _

I step out onto the ledge.

_ I’ll destroy this cursed world, and- _

Before I can finish that thought, something within me stirs.

_ … Julius? His soul- _

It happens again. A flutter, barely registered as my tunnel vision threatens to take over.

_ No… not a soul. _

_ It’s… _

The evening air wafts through my hair, and a cold tear streaks down my cheek.

_ … life. _

I step back, and the tunnel widens. My vision clears.

_ How could I be so stupid… _

Next thing I know, my back hits the opposite wall of the hallway, and I let my knees buckle. I slide to the ground, my eyes still fixed on the sunset outside.

_ I can’t do it… even if I had the means… I can’t. _

I don’t want to die. Not now, not ever. Even with Julius gone, I want to live, I want to give birth to this baby. Did I really think I was prepared to throw away  _ my  _ future for some ridiculous mission? Time travel?! I mean- I want to, I still  _ want to,  _ but all the reasons why I shouldn’t are crashing down on me.

_ I don’t want to die… but more than that, I don’t want this child to die. _

But most of all…

_ If I went back in time and destroyed the world… Julius would never forgive me. And Adeline, she wouldn’t forgive me. _

My stomach turns as I realize that I’ve done something worse than destroy the world; I’ve upset Adeline, I’ve told her that I didn’t care about her  _ or  _ the world. The new love I wanted, she must have wanted it just as bad, right? And now, I might have destroyed the last piece of happiness I could have had as my life wanes away.

Just like everything else, I ruined it. How can I ever face her again?

At the first opportunity, I let the selfishness I hated so much take over everything. I wanted so badly to destroy this world, and that delusion clouded everything that was actually important: my baby, my friends, my kingdom, and the woman I wanted desperately to love. 

_ Is it too late? _

Like some sort of empty puppet, I slowly stand up, my knees still shaking, and make my way back out onto the ledge. This time, I don’t intend to let myself fall.

_ “Flame magic: Sun God’s Leap.” _

Wings burst to life around me, and I take flight. I fly in the opposite direction from the Crimson Lion Base, out over the city and into the wild. 

_ Where am I even going… _

I have no idea. But maybe there’s an answer there. So I fly… I fly east. Away from the sunset that even now continues to creep up on me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO POOR MC if she seems a little off her rocker that's completely right- She has a broken, useless ego so her impulsive ID has basically taken over afjskdl
> 
> Next time! Chapter 13: the promise and the apology. Maybe this world can still be perfect.


	13. the apology and a promise

For once, it's nice to not think. My mind lets itself go blank as I fly, my eyes unfocusing into a blur of light and dark. There's nothing but the wind whipping through my hair, my eyes watering slightly from the speed, and the  _ buzz  _ of wings fluttering around my body. 

I don't fly as fast as usual today. I'm tired of rushing; for once, I just want to glide, to savor the flight and the feelings that come with it. I can remember so clearly, the first day I manifested this spell. It was an accident, in a moment of panic that I took to the skies. Floating up there, defying gravity… there was nothing else like it. 

_ That day… _

_ That was my wedding day.  _

It was just a few months ago, but it feels like a lifetime. I still wear the ring on my finger, but I hardly look at it anymore. Anything that makes me think of Julius just  _ hurts _ , especially now. 

_ If I actually went through with it… he would hate me.  _

_ Adeline would hate me.  _

I  _ would hate me.  _

_ No… I already do. And Adeline probably does, too.  _

My gaze focuses again, and drops down to the houses and fields below. Everything is so quiet and peaceful; they have no idea that their lives were almost shattered, rewound, and possibly damaged. Adeline is right; If I turned back time, over a month of everyone's life would be destroyed. Relationships, hard work, all of it… I would abandon them for a better world, not create a better world. At least, that's what I think would happen. Maybe they would just stop existing altogether, and have no idea what hit them. Time and space, obliterated in an instant… 

_ No. My plan would have never worked in the first place. _

Somehow, I'm relieved to admit it to myself. 

_ Horatio is weakened… if I took his gravity magic, it would hurt him. And his mana might not be enough to do what I want.  _

_ I doubt that there's any gravity mages strong enough to match me in this world.  _

Suddenly, I smell smoke. I let my lets drop down from my streamlined position, and quickly skid to a stop.  _ A fire? All the way out here?  _ It seems like I'm in the middle of nowhere, trees stretching as far as I can see. The capitol rises behind me, a dark city silhouetted by the setting sun. But what's on fire?

Then, I see it; a large building, its rooms jumbled and stacked half hazardly on top of one another. The base of the Black Bulls. 

So, that smoke…

I circle farther down, and as I descend I hear a voice. Well, several voices. 

_ "LUUUUUCK!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" _

_ "A hahahaha! No you aren't, Magna! Your ribs were very tasty." _

_ "MAGNA-SENPAI! You may have some of MY ribs if you want!" _

_ "Keep yer stinkin' ribs, shrimpsta, I'm killing this good for nuthin'-" _

_ "Boyyyys~ stop fighting and have some alcohol!" _

_ "And more nommies!" _

It’s the loud, callous, unmistakable sound of a party. However, those sounds fade away quickly as soon as I land with a  _ whoosh  _ right by them.

Magna blinks a few times, then his jaw drops. “A-a-a-h- t-t-that’s the- the-”

“MISS WIZARD KING!!!” Asta springs to his feet from where he sat by the bonfire and quickly does about ten quick bows in a row. “It’s so good to see you here are our humble party, and-”

“Shut yer trap!” Yami grabs Asta roughly by the head and tosses him away. “But really, what brings you all the way out here?” He eyes me suspiciously, and I feet my stomach turn with nervousness. “Are we in trouble?”

I stand there silent for a moment, then manage to crack a smile. “No! No, no trouble! I just, er… needed to…”

The squad stares at me with varying degrees of expression on their faces.  _ Come on… think of something- _

Suddenly, Yami lets out a chuckle, immediately dissolving the attention. “Marx is probably driving you up the wall, huh? You don’t have to say it… come on, I’ll bring you a beer.”

For some reason, I nod, even though I have no intention of drinking. I watch Yami walk off to the cooler, and a thought occurs to me. Maybe  _ he’s  _ the reason why I’m here. Maybe he has the answers.

“So, how goes it with that new advisor?” Yami asks me as we walk a little ways away from the rest of his squad. “I heard she was… interesting.”

“Hm? I suppose so-” My heart clenches at the memory of Adeline’s face. “She’s interesting, yeah. Makes things a little less boring, I suppose.” I let out a sigh, smiling a little as I bask in the presence of an old friend. I tear my eyes away from the sunset for a moment to look up at him, only to find him staring at me intensely. I gulp and look away. “Say… Yami…” my mouth moves on its own. “This reminds me of the good old days… remember those?”

Yami lets out a snort. “Yeah, of course. You, me, and Vangeance, drinking and laughing together at the inn every weekend. Those were the days.”

“Yeah, before I got kicked out-” Both of us chuckle at that.

“Well, it worked out for you in the end, didn’t it?”

I shake my head a bit, but my smile doesn’t go away. “I suppose so…”

Silence settles in again, before Yami speaks up, his tone low and husky.

“Back then… you drank more than the two of us combined. You’re a monster… so…”

_ … uh oh- _

“It surprises me that you haven’t even sipped your beer.”

I glance down at the open bottle, my hand clutching it tightly. Slowly, I look back up to see Yami still staring, his eyes narrowed.

“Tell me… what’s been botherin’ you?”

I let a little breath of laughter escape my nose, and I almost look away.

“Bothering me? No way, not anything, really…”

I should have known that I could never hide anything from Yami. Ever since the first time we met, 8 years ago, he somehow knew everything he could have wanted to know about me. And today is no exception. He stares at me with an expressionless face as his question hangs in the air, just like his cigarette hangs lazily from his teeth. But his eyes betray the concern he holds inside.

_ Don’t lie… what’s wrong? _

There could be many answers to that question, ranging from minimal to world-changing. Each one compounding upon the other, higher and higher until there is no end. And the worst part is that I _want_ to tell Yami _everything._ For once, I want to share this burden with someone, _anyone._ I’m desperate to do anything that could make me feel better, even if it’s a long shot.

But I can’t.

_ There’s hardly any room left in my shrinking heart… but there’s still a place for you, Yami. There always will be. _

The sounds of his squad are the only things to break the silence, along with the buzz of evening cicadas in the woods, and the crackling fire of their barbeque.

_ … I won’t put that burden on  _ you,  _ Yami. But, I know you’re not going to give up, so I’ll need to tell you another secret… _

“I’m pregnant.”

His eyes widen, but I look away before I can see the rest of his shock register on his face. “...damn,” he finally responds after a good five seconds of silence, his voice lower now. “...is it-”

“Who else’s would it be?” I cut him off, knowing exactly what he was going to say. The beat of quiet stings me after my words. “Sorry-”

“No, you’re fine, that was a stupid question.” Yami takes a long drag of his cigarette before exhaling. The smoke dances in the air for just a moment before dissolving away. “So… how do you feel?”

….

“I feel…”

…

“Nothing.”

There’s no way to describe how I feel any better.

“You should leave.”

My eyes widen as Yami’s large hand clasps my shoulder, and I look back up at him. “Huh?”

“You heard me. Go.” His eyes harden. “Look… go somewhere now. Someplace, to some _ thing…  _ or to some _ one.  _ Anywhere that makes you feel  _ something.” _

His words still confuse me in their suddenness, but I know from his tone that he’s dead serious.  _ Go somewhere? Why? Where would I go?  _ “What do you mean,  _ something?”  _ I frown, turning to face him straight on. All this time, I’ve been avoiding those emotions that would otherwise cripple me, and that’s the only reason why I’ve remained so strong.

_ Right? _

_ Wrong… _

I’m weak. I’m built upon stilts that a mild wind could blow out from beneath me. I’ve deprived myself of the important feelings and relationships that might have saved me from the abyss.

_ But, nothing could have saved me, right? I’m going to die, no matter what. So what’s the point of- _

“Stop overthinking it!” Yami shakes me violently for a moment, and I let out a shriek of surprise. “I don’t care if you’re the Wizard King, you’re something more important than that. You’re my friend… and you’re the one Julius loved. So  _ go.”  _ His mouth twitches into a smile. “Go and  _ feel.  _ It doesn’t matter what it is. Grief, anger, sadness, fear… any of it is better than  _ nothing.  _ Because if you force yourself to feel  _ nothing,  _ you’ll  _ never  _ feel happy again.”

His words and shaking finally nail some semblance of sense into my head, and as soon as he lets go I start to back away. My heart is thumping, my blood is heating up. Not with anger or fear, but with  _ purpose.  _ Because, he’s right. I don’t want to live these last months like I’m already a corpse. I want to  _ live.  _

I’m the Wizard King… YES.

I AM the Wizard King!

I’m the most powerful person in this kingdom, and for the rest of my life, I’m going to  _ act  _ like it. 

Yami’s grin widens in tandem with mine, and a long-absent glint reappears in my eyes. “Yami… thank you. There’s so much I need to do…” Smiling brightly, I salute him. “I’ll talk to you later! I won’t be a stranger!”

“You better not be-” Yami warns, saluting back for once. “Don’t do anything stupid, now.”

I let out a little scoff. “As if you have any right to tell me that.” I wink before turning away, already activating my flight spell. Without another word, I shoot into the air and back towards the castle. Yami watches silently from the ground, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

“What was that about, Captain?”

“None of your business, Asta.”

\--------------------

Somehow, I manage to get home before the sun goes down; that’s how  _ fast  _ I fly. Julius could get from place to place in mere instants, and I’m more happy than ever that I managed to appropriate that trait. I Fly right through a window and hit the hallway ground running.

“Adeline! ADELINE!!!”

There’s so much that I need to set right. With Adeline, with Marx, with my friends… especially William. I did something horrible and manipulative to him. I have no right to hold my forgiveness above his head; in fact,  _ I  _ should be the one asking for  _ his.  _ But right now, I need to find-

“Adeline! There you are!” I run around the corner and spot her standing by the window. Adeline whirls around to see me stop short. For a moment, the air becomes awkward, and I take a nervous breath. A few minutes ago, I didn’t even want to face her-

“I’m sorry…” Adeline surprises me by speaking up. “The way I talked to you earlier… that was so disrespectful. I thought about it all, and I wanted to say that I’m in no place to question your plans. In fact-” She squeezes her eyes shut. “If you want to go back in time and save your husband, I’ll do anything in my power to help- AH!” She cuts herself off as I suddenly jump forward and wrap my arms around her. She freezes up, her hands trembling.

“Adeline… it’s me who should be sorry,” I mumble, squeezing my eyes shut and burying my face in her shoulder. “I’m in no place to question fate and the laws of nature. You told me what I needed to hear, not what I  _ wanted to hear…  _ and because of that…” I feel my face heat up against her shoulder.

“... I need you, Adeline.”

Slowly, I pull back and look up at her, my hands lingering on her arms. Slowly, almost unconsciously, she shifts to keep holding me, her eyes wide and shocked at the sudden confession.

“Adeline… do you love me?”

Somehow, that particular question doesn’t shock her as much as I expected. In fact, she almost seems to relax.

“... to be perfectly honest, I’ve never been  _ in love.  _ So, I don’t really know how it feels,” she begins, her words just the slightest bit hesitant. “But, I want to be. And more than that… I want to be in love with  _ you.  _ And, I know this is probably the worst time to say that, but it’s the truth. Even if you don’t want anything to do with me, I still just want to make you happy.”

I squeeze her arm, and I start to smile once again. My heart is pounding again, with a feeling that stirs memories of long ago. “Adeline… you’ve always made me happy. And if you want to be in love with me, then by all means… go ahead.”

We both know that Adeline is right; this  _ is  _ the worst time. But it’s also the best time. Maybe things will never be the same as me and Julius, but  _ different is still good.  _ I refuse to deprive myself of love at the end of my life.

Adeline doesn’t have to answer. Her golden eyes soften, and before I know it, we both lean in at the same time. Our lips meet in the middle, and time stands still.

_ So… soft… _

Her arms wrap around me and pull me closer, and I let myself dissolve into the bliss I denied myself for so long.

\------------

There’s someone else that I need to speak to, though. I bid Adeline goodnight before walking downstairs. The castle is silent, almost abandoned. But I can’t bring myself to feel melancholy at the sight of the emptiness. Because, for once,  _ I’m  _ not empty. 

I continue farther and farther, then exit into the castle gardens. The grass moves silently under my feet as I walk, dew and mist puffing up with each step. Roses and peonies stare silently as I make my way to the back. I pause for only one moment as I pass the fish pond, its perimeter laced with green and white clovers. The bench sits there, empty. 

_ But I’m not empty. _

I shake my head, smiling, before continuing on. Finally, I reach my destination. It’s a humble memorial, just what he would have wanted. The grass has already grown over the spot that was dug up. Bouquets of flowers are piled up all around the headstone, where a name is engraved:

_ Julius Novachrono. _

It’s hard to believe that I never once came down here to visit. But, I’m here now. Slowly, I let myself sink to my knees, the cool grass hitting my skin through my tights. I sit and stare, and finally I feel a few tears start to bubble up.

Yami wanted me to feel… and I am  _ feeling  _ now.

Despite having so much bottled up, I can’t bring myself to sob or scream. My quiet grief leaks down my face and drips to the ground, watering the ground. After a little while, I bring my hand up and use the back of it to wipe the tears away. I take a deep breath, then let it out through my nose.

_ Breathe. _

“Julius… I’m sorry this took so long.”

I know he doesn’t answer. But maybe, somehow, he’s listening.

“I almost did something terrible today… can you believe how selfish I can be?” I let out a ghost of a laugh. It’s still a painful thing to cope with, but somehow the situation feels brighter. I resisted temptation. There’s so much to live for now.

“And anyway… I’ll be seeing you soon. Sooner than I thought…” I sigh, my hand coming to rest on my stomach. “My life loves to be complicated, doesn’t it? Well… I’ve always found a way to pull through. Maybe I won’t succeed this time, but-”

A spike of determination flows through my hand and into my body. 

“I  _ will  _ fix everything before I have to go.” I tear my eyes from the ground to look at his name. The air feels warm… maybe from my mana, or maybe from something else. Either way… I can’t help but smile.

“I’ll be the best Wizard King that ever lived… I’ll protect the Kingdom. I’ll train my successor. I  _ will  _ give birth to this baby. And… I’ll make Adeline the happiest woman in the world. I promise, Julius… I swear on my love to you that I’ll be someone you can be proud of!”

_ And then, when it’s all over… _

I stand up, walking over to the headstone. My hand drifts across the surface, over the etching of his name, before I lean down and press a kiss to the  _ J. _

_ I’ll join you again. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Chapter 14. Lisa poses a challenge to the Captains at their tournament.


	14. the sleeping world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter than usual, but get ready to see the result of all that secret true time magic training!

“Jesus Christ, you’re with a WOMAN now?!” Both Augustus and Sekke look like their eyes are about to bulge out of their faces, gazes snapping back and forth from me and Adeline’s clasped hands and our faces. Augustus splutters incoherently before pointing his sceptre at me accusingly. “I  _ knew  _ it! I  _ knew  _ you were just using Julius for the power! And now that he’s gone-”

“Your majesty-” I cut him off before he can actually start to upset me. “There’s such a thing as bisexuals, you know.”

“JFDSKL WHAT ON EARTH-”

Adeline bites her lip to suppress her words, and gives my hand a squeeze. I glance up at her, noticing that she’s starting to get a little uncomfortable. It’s fair, given that her history with Augustus is less than pleasant. I smile and squeeze back before continuing to walk past Augustus as he has his tantrum. We’ve just arrived on top of a large overlook, in the same area where the Royal Knights exam took place months and months ago. I had some of the royal mages terraform it, creating a large lake, plain, and forest. But from up here, we can see it all perfectly. What is this all for, exactly?

In order to increase morale and get some intense training in, I decided to make the Captains fight each other in a crystal destruction tournament. Not the most original idea, I must admit, but it will do its job. These last few weeks have been absolutely insane. The  _ Devil Banishers/Believers  _ incident was a real hassle to get through, and ended up costing us more than we thought. But it’s all over now, and it’s time to get some real work done before we send our representatives over to the Heart Kingdom.

_ And for me…  _

Today, I’ll see if my own intense training has paid off.

“Hey, where’s Fluffy?”

Yami crosses his arms before looking around. He and the other captains are already here, milling around awkwardly. I haven’t told them their teams yet, but everyone is already shooting each other dirty looks. “Huh, that’s weird, Rill didn’t tell me he was skipping.”

“Of course that brat skipped! At his age, he’d be skipping school, too, Keh Keh!” Jack cackles, licking his lips. “I was looking forward to slicing him up…”

“Well, what if he ended up on your team?” Charlotte points out.

“... did I stutter?”

“Please, save the fighting for the battlefield,” Nozel steps in before Charlotte can retort. “You’re going to need all the energy you have.”

Fuegoleon looks  _ very  _ eager to go, bouncing on the balls of his feet and flexing his fiery arm across his chest. I eye his movement suspiciously, getting distracted. “How come your shirt doesn’t catch on fire too?”

He shrugs, but gives me a grin. “Maybe today will be the day I burn so hot it  _ does  _ char my clothes.”

I clear my throat awkwardly before turning away to look at everyone. “Anyway- if Rill is a no-show then it’ll be 4 on 4. Now…” Admittedly, this changes my plans a little, but no matter. “Team one will be Yami, Jack, Nozel, and Kaiser.”

“WHAT? I have to be on a team with this stinkbug-” Yami immediately objects, but cuts himself off as I shoot him a glare. “Fine, whatever.” He catches Charlotte’s eye and suddenly grins. “Heh, looks like you’ll have to fight me, prickly-queen.”

“Good. I’ve been looking forward to teaching you a lesson.” Charlotte’s eyes only harden.

“Ooooh, why do I kind of like the sound of that?”

“Why-” Charlotte quickly turns pink. “You vulgar-”

“SO! Those are the teams!” I step in between them, smiling brightly despite the mounting tensions. “Marx just gave me the go-ahead for the broadcast, so I want you all to go down there-” I gesture out onto the plains. “-and await my signal!”

“Thank you.” Without another word, the eight of them split apart and jump down to their stations, gearing up for what promises to be a spectacular fight. I let out a sigh before turning to walk back to my chair, where Adeline, Augustus, and Sekke are waiting.  _ William didn’t say a word…  _ I don’t even remember him looking me in the eye while I was talking to the captains.  _ Well, that’s just another thing I’ll have to do today. _

“Hello?” A screen suddenly opens up next to me, and I see Marx’s face appear. “Are we ready to go?”

“Yep!” Before I sit down, I turn back to the arena. I raise my arm, two fingers pointing up, and set off a powerful blast of magic, a bolt that goes careening into the air with a loud  _ whoosh.  _ It’s the signal to  _ go,  _ and boy… do they  _ GO!  _

The battle that commences is like nothing I’ve seen before. Each of them knows they’re being watched by the entire kingdom via Marx’s communication magic, so they hold nothing back. Fire, mercury, darkness, plants, and everything in between goes flying, each of them desperately reaching for the other’s crystal while keeping theirs just out of reach. Half of the fight moves into the forest, the trees warping and billowing as William builds his own path out of his magic. Nozel and Fuegoleon only have eyes for each other, Salamander burning so hot that the lake starts to evaporate and steam up underneath it and Fuegoleon.

Their magic heats the air, sends vibrations through the earth, and towers high into the sky.

For a moment, I can’t help but feel guilty.

_ All three of them… would have made wonderful Wizard Kings. They are men who put their duty first, men who wouldn’t get caught up in the cycle of grief and greed like I would. _

_ They are human men… they could care for this Kingdom far better than I could. _

A soft hand squeezes my shoulder. Somehow, Adeline always knows what I’m thinking.

_ But… at the end of the day… the responsibility falls to  _ me.  _ Maybe I’m running out of time, maybe I’m compromised emotionally, but I made a promise, to Julius, to Adeline, and myself.  _

_ I am the Wizard King… and today, I’ll show everyone why! _

Right then, without warning, the entire earth rumbles. I reach up and grab Adeline’s hand with one of my own, the other grasping the arm of my chair. Augustus yowls with fear, and Sekke goes tumbling to the ground. “What on earth is that?!” Adeline gasps.

My eyes widen, and I quickly point out into the forest. “Look!” A giant slash of darkness appears, tearing through the trees. A chill shoots through the air, causing every hair on my arms to stand at end.  _ Oh shit! That’s Yami’s Dimension Slash!  _ A grin grows on my face as it dissipates as soon as it appeared, leaving nothing but an eerie silence in its wake.

“Um… are they okay?” Adeline asks, narrowing her eyes as she scans the area. “I can’t hear any more fighting?”

“Huh… did Yami kill everyone?”

Just as I ask the question, I spot a group of people emerge from the forest. A few minutes later, they’re back up on the platform, and drop the shards of their crystals at my feet. I arch a brow, glancing between their faces. “What happened, exactly?”

“It’s no fair!” Dorothy grumbles. “I had Yami trapped in Glamour World, but then he just cut his way out!”

“And he destroyed both crystals while he was at it.” Kaiser gives Yami the side eye.

“Hey! I think our team should win. I did destroy the enemy’s crystal, after all.” Yami looks terrible; he’s covered with bruises and his white shirt is stained with what looks like dirt. His hair is so out of place he looks like a different person.

“BUT! You destroyed your own as well,” Fuegoleon objects loudly. “That lack of care should lead to a loss for your team!”

I can’t help but laugh, drawing their attention back to me. “This sure is a weird circumstance that I didn’t see coming… but…” I smirk as I start to realize my plan. “Maybe we should do a tiebreaker instead?”

“What is she doing?” Augustus was watching from his chair, talking to no one in particular. He glanced over at Adeline for a moment, who started to look very worried.

_ What is she up to? _

“A tiebreaker?” Yami almost laughs at the suggestion. “Do any of us look like we’re ready for a tiebreaker?!”

“For once, I agree with him,” Nozel adds. He doesn’t look as bad as Yami, but his trademark braid is barely holding together after the furious exchange he and Fuegoleon just traded. Fuegoleon’s clothes are crisped at the edges, soot and smoke clinging to every part of him. During this tournament, even his own flames scorched through whatever usually protected him.

“I know you’re all exhausted! At least, you  _ look  _ exhausted.” I smile cheerfully between all eight Captains. “But, like I said, ending this with a tie isn’t all that satisfying… but!” I hold up a finger, finally getting to the point. “You’ll like what I have in mind! It’s easy!”

“Oh yeah?” Despite how tired he looks, Yami manages to grin, his hand already moving to the handle of his katana. “Spit it out, then.”

I keep smiling, almost giggling at his eagerness, but when I speak, my words are deadly serious.

“All you have to do to win… is make me move from where I’m standing.”

The earth stands still for a moment as my words sink in. Yami’s lighthearted expression suddenly fades into worry.  _ Out of everyone here, he’s the only one who knows I’m pregnant,  _ I think, maintaining my smile.  _ He’s probably a little hesitant about attacking me… but the others… _

“So…” Fuegoleon frowns. “We just… hit you? Knock you down?”

“If you want!” I reply cheerfully. “I’m sure some of you are angry at me for one reason or another, so…” My gaze sweeps over and lands on William. His eyes widen just the tiniest bit, but for once he doesn’t look away.

“Take out your anger. Make me move, if you can.”

Each of them is tired, exhausted, beaten and bruised, but that gleam enters their eyes as I tell them to come at me. That gleam comes back into  _ William’s eyes. _ Because, above all, these Captains are the best in this Kingdom… and they want nothing more than to prove themselves. For glory, and for  _ death. _

All at once, their Grimoires are out, their faces shining with determination. Spells are being cast, and eight bodies move towards me with as much speed as they can muster. A moment of frenetic fury, because the first of them to hit me will be crowned the victor.

_ If they  _ can  _ hit me. This is my time to prove myself. _

With a deep breath, I close my eyes before any of them can reach me. As soon as darkness falls, I can feel it; mana pulsing from the earth, up through my legs, and out with each breath I release. 

_ The laws of nature… Time is at the center of them all. _

I open my eyes, and the spell activates. Mana words, glowing whitish-blue, burst to life around my head in a spectacular double halo. Mana courses through my body; a body that was made for the purpose of holding mana. The body that deems me as inhuman, that houses a broken, dying soul, yet gives me the power I want more than anything.

_ “True Time Magic… Domain of Thanatos.” _

Each rune circling my body spells out the same word:  _ Stop. _

And that’s exactly what happens. 

\------

_ This ability is True Time Magic: Domain of Thanatos. _

_ Thanatos… the god of peaceful, non violent death. _

_ Julius’s Time Magic had the power to steal and give time as he wished, from any object that he could please. But he could not control  _ TIME  _ itself. Time as it exists in nature, a rushing river, always moving forward. _

_ But even a river can freeze. _

_ This magic gives me control over that river, over the speed that it flows. Although I cannot force it backwards… I can slow it down until it stops. _

_ With this ability, I put the entire world to sleep. _

_ With this ability… no one will ever stop me. _

\-------

The moment my spell activates, all eight of the captains freeze, and their attacks become suspended in midair. I let out a slow breath, allowing a smile to grow on my face. My hand stays frozen in the air for the time being, because I have to calculate every single move with the upmost precision.

See, the catch to stopping time is that it doesn’t last very long if I just start moving. Maybe two or three seconds at most. However, I managed to find a condition where I can stretch the length of time within  _ Domain of Thanatos;  _ I allow time to start to flow with my movements, so slow and smooth, but just fast enough that I can do what I want.

_ So… easy now… _

One finger. Then the next. And another. Until I’m no longer reaching out; I’m pointing. My first target is Yami.

_ Sorry… this’ll only hurt for a second. _

With each finger, he only twitches slightly, moving forward a mere millimeter. 

_ Flame magic: Solar Bolt. _

My attack shoots through him, as fast as outside of this spell.

_ And now… the others…  _

I move in a half circle, one by one, casting my bolt and watching them fail to react to being hit. It’s surreal, being here all alone in some weird little world. But I remind myself that this solitude is because I am in control. 

Finally, William is hit, the last of my eight targets. I let out a shaky breath, my smile widening.  _ So… now I just have to worry about  _ their  _ spells.  _ Each of them have only moved a few inches, but are now getting dangerously close. With each  _ Solar Bolt  _ I fired, they clipped closer, sped up in time with my spell. I can feel my control weakening, and something that smells like blood is starting to bubble up in my nose. Despite that, I stay calm, letting  _ Blazing Spear  _ materialize in my hand. 

_ And… _

I take one last breath of air within  _ Domain of Thanatos.  _

_ Release. _

My arm swings through the air, bringing the spear along with it, and I slash through the spells, my trajectory carefully calculated due to the observations I made earlier. I have to duck once though, avoiding Yami and Dorothy’s spells. I look up just in time to see the eight of them stumble back and fall, stunned by the instant attack that came from seemingly nowhere. 

“Look at that… I’m still standing.”

Yami groans and rolls back up into a sitting position, a curious glint in his tired eyes. “What the Hell was that?”

“I’m wondering the same thing.” Nozel winces, clutching the spot where my bolt hit him. “How fast did you just move?”

I let out a little laugh, a twinkle in my eye. “Actually, I moved very slow… I made  _ everything  _ move very slow.” 

Most of them have sat up by now, all of them still shocked and disoriented, but now they’re looking at me in a new way. The look in their eyes is familiar; it’s the same way they all used to look at Julius in battle. The shock, the awe… the admiration.

_ Are they really looking at me? _

In that moment, my pride deflates. Despite the fact that now, maybe, they can see me as more than just Julius’s replacement, I feel so… humbled. These eight amazing people accept me.

Even William, the one I manipulated and betrayed, sits there with a smile on his face. An easy, happy smile that I remember from our days together long ago.

Finally, I clear my throat.

“That… that was true time magic.” I take a step towards them as I explain. “I developed it by applying the Heart Kingdom’s methods to my Time magic. There’s still a lot to explore, but one thing is certain.”

I come to a stop in front of William, then hold out my hand.

_ Please William… forgive me. _

“We can all get stronger… think carefully about who you send to the Heart Kingdom.”

William’s smile fades, but the expression on his face is one of understanding.

_ Of course I forgive you. You’re my friend. _

“This magic is our hope.”

He takes my hand, and I pull him to his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME!!!! Chapter 15: the devil comes knocking. A short time skip into the future, and shit is about to go DOWN.


	15. the end of summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally getting into the meat of the manga spade arc! Enjoy!

Days grew shorter. Shadows grew longer. So long that they seeped over the border and into the once-peaceful Clover Kingdom.

Many didn’t know it as they went about their lives, farming and working and sweating like usual. Only a few actually understood the threat that was growing, the threat they desperately wanted to overcome. But to overcome, you must be prepared to fight for your life. 

Months and months of work were finally coming to a close. But would the Clover Kingdom be ready to face the spade Kingdom?

But also… would the Spade Kingdom be prepared as well?

_ “You’ve been sitting in that seat for months. Don’t tell me you haven’t figured anything out, yet?” _

The man with shaggy white hair and large, reflective glasses nearly jumped out of his seat at the sound of the deep, rough voice behind him. He turned around, now backlit by the magical screen his eyes had been locked on. It played a clip over and over again, ripped directly from a Clover Kingdom broadcast that they managed to intercept. 

“That’s not true, Lord Dante. I’ve moved.”

Dante let out a chuckle, his serious expression dissolving. The man was in a good mood, and why wouldn’t he be? The end of these agonizing six months was near, and it was almost time to make their move. Finally, he would be able to enact his plan, and get to fight some interesting people along the way.

“Not that I can tell. Every time I come in here, you’re staring at that screen, Morris. In the exact same position, too, I might add.”

Morris felt a little irked by the comment, but he couldn’t do much about it. Dante and his siblings, the Dark Triad, were the reason why he was allowed to flee the Diamond Kingdom after Mars took over. Well, that wasn’t going to end well for Mars, as Zenon himself dispatched most of the enemy country’s troops. It was a small comfort, but overall the situation wasn’t too bad. Morris got to do what he did best, and be part of something catastrophic.

“Whatever. And no, I haven’t.” Morris sighed before turning back to look at the screen. The clip looped again, and again, and again. Just two or three seconds of footage, a critical moment that defied all explanation. “All I know is that this new power is something she calls  _ true time magic. _ ”

“Ah, groundbreaking.” Dante narrowed his eyes at the display. “Is this something she inherited?”

“No… I don’t think so.” Morris weaved his fingers together as he watched, barely aware that Dante was there still. “It’s true- because of her Dyad magic, she was able to steal part of Julius Novachrono’s magic. But Simulcian Dyads don’t just  _ borrow  _ their partner’s magic. Over time, they make it their own. So, effectively, she’s come up with new time spells that even Novachrono did not.”

Dante nodded slowly, faint recognition registering in the back of his mind. Well, not  _ his  _ mind.

_ The power to steal part of someone’s soul… their essence, their magic… and make it their own. How terrifyingly powerful.  _

“You sure seem to know a lot about it, Morris.”

“I told you before- The Diamond Kingdom harbored a group of Simulcian refugees for over a century,” Morris reminded him. “They offered to share their Dyad with our army in exchange for a safe, private place to stay.” Morris let out a wistful sigh. “I was the only one who visited… I even talked to their leader, Mikal. He was interesting… He showed me the research he was doing on his own family. Quite diabolical.” Morris’s smile dropped. “But then all of them disappeared… I thought I’d never find out what happened, but then, 6 years later, the Clover Kingdom attacked us with a Dyad of their own. One containing the  _ Wizard King  _ of all people.” 

And now, the other half of that Dyad was Wizard King as well, the Wizard King they would have to face in only a matter of days.

_ Or maybe not.  _

The woman’s movements were instantaneous. There was no delay, no movement, between where she began and where she ended. But in that moment, all 8 of her opponents were down.

“She hasn’t made any public appearances lately. She’s been keeping to herself… it’s too bad, I don’t know if I’ll be able to fight her.” Dante finally spoke, his own little brain trying to figure out her trick. “According to the intel our spies provided, she should be over 6 months pregnant.”

“Or dead.” Morris shook his head. “Mikal explained it to me- When you form a Dyad, you cease to exist as an individual. You share the essence of your soul, your EGO, with the other. When Julius Novachrono died, he broke her Ego. So…”

Dante’s eyes widened a little when he realized what Morris was about to say. Morris just let his voice trail off, because there was no reason to voice the inevitable.

_ She is wilting away. LIke a flower who has forgotten what the sun looked like. _

“It’s a shame. She was getting so powerful.” Dante shook his head sadly, but couldn’t help but smile. “I really hoped I would get to fight her one day.”

Morris let out a chuckle.  _ Dante, your mind dwells on the wrong things, sometimes. I don’t think you would want to fight her.  _ “I suppose. I would have liked to research her powers… there might be something in there I can use. For now, I guess I can dream…” 

Both men watched her form on the screen, again and again.

“And besides…”

“She’s very cute-”   
“She’s very cute-”

Dante and Morris both cut each other off. For the first time, Morris actually turned in his chair to face his superior, fear starting to register on his face. It wasn’t much, just a tinge, but it was more than Morris had felt in his entire life.

“Morris…” Dante’s smile was gone. “What did you just say?”

Morris gulped, feeling the hair on his arms standing on end. “...nothing. Nothing at all.”

After a few moments saturated with tension, Dante finally relaxed his frown into a grin. “That’s what I thought you said.” He reached down and slapped Morris on the shoulder, a little harder than could be considered friendly. Morris stiffened, watching as Dante turned to leave, his cloak flaring out dramatically.

“If I  _ do  _ get to fight the Wizard King… I will conquer her. Just like I conquer everything else.”

Dante’s eyes glimmered at the thought, the hope he held close to his heart.

“Meeting you… is going to be so much fun.~”

(a couple months later)

“All rise for her majesty, the 29th Wizard King!”

This is the same room where I was married, and where I was later crowned. But now, I feel none of the nervousness of that previous visit. I’ve walked this aisle many times, my head held high, a crown glimmering upon my hair, and my robe flowing behind me. 

I am the Wizard King, and this is my court. This is where I sit on my throne.

These past few months have been dense with work, more work than I’ve ever had in my time as advisor. After accepting my fate, I threw myself into this position more deeply than ever before. There’s a whole kingdom of people who need help, and another whole kingdom about to attack us. But little by little, I chipped through the work with the help of Marx and Adeline, slowly but surely repairing the damage and making sure those who were hurt were well cared for. But even now, there are problems, which is why I keep my doors open to whoever needs help.

“Y-Your majesty…”

A pair of men stand before me, their hands clasped together to keep them from shaking. They look like peasants, and there’s fear glistening in their eyes.

“We’re very sorry to bother you… our town was lucky enough to receive aid, after all. But-” He gulped, his eyes flickering up to my neutral face, leaned up against my propped up hand. “The magic knights in our town are wreaking havoc… they steal our food, slack off… and they even harass the women. If it isn’t too much-”

“Remove them?” I ask, sitting up a little straighter on my throne. “Tell me, what squad did I send to your town?”

“T-The Purple Orcas, ma’am-”

“Oh, I see.”  _ Of course it’s them… I’m sure Kaiser would have a fit if he knew,  _ I think, letting out a tired sigh. “Well, in that case, your wish is granted. I’ll send for the immediate removal of troops. Should I replace them?”

The two men looked at each other excitedly before turning back to me. “No! We’ve mostly recovered, thanks to you, those knights were just taking advantage of our recovery.” They both bowed in unison, grins still shining on their faces. “Thank you, your majesty!”

I smile down at them, motioning for them to rise again. “No problem! It’s my job to ensure that every citizen in this city is safe.”

As they leave, the crowd murmurs angrily. For whatever reason, many people usually come to watch as I listen to those who have requests, probably just to gossip and jeer at me. I do my best to be a good King, but there’s always going to be people who hold my status against me. They still see me as nothing more than a consort, someone who used Julius for power. It couldn’t be further from the truth; there’s nothing I want more than for Julius to be sitting on this throne today.

“I can’t believe it! Who gave you the power to redistribute my funds in the treasury?”

Now a wealthy, noble merchant stands before me, with much less benevolence than the peasants. His face is red with anger, like a tomato about to split open with juice. “I put those riches in there to gain interest! I was supposed to get  _ richer,  _ not poorer!”

“Oh, you  _ did  _ get interest, though,” I tell him casually, smiling a bit to myself at how angry he is. “That’s all I took out of your funds, too. You know that the Kingdom has been suffering lately-”

“THE KINGDOM? My ass!” he cuts me off. “Sure, some towns out in the boonies got destroyed, but do I have to pay for their problems?!” He points at me accusingly. “That’s not right! You don’t  _ have  _ the right to do that!”

“Look-” I shake my head, letting out an exasperated sigh. The night sky outside signifies how long I’ve been here, hours at this point. I’m starting to get tired. “The interest I took was enough to feed a town of starving people. You’ll make it back soon. Can’t you be happy that you’re helping the greater good-”

“HELP?! Why do I have to suffer for them!” he yells again. “My life was perfect! Why should I care if-”

“SILENCE.” In an instant, I’m on my feet. The air around me suddenly crackles with mana, and I hold up my hand to let an orb of dangerously bright blue light gather there. The entire room vibrates, and the crowd cowers behind the man who dared to speak to me like that.

“Cut me off again… and I will cut  _ you  _ in half.” 

I clench my fist, and the orb intensifies. The noble’s eyes are wide, and the strength in his knees finally gives out. He collapses, his head ducking down as his body wracks with tremors. “I-I’m sorry- please- have mercy-”

“Mercy?” I smile again, but my eyes are as empty as ever. “You would show no mercy to those below you either, right? So why should I care if you live or die?”

He doesn’t answer, just squeezes his eyes shut and accepts his fate.

Satisfied, I release my power, and the light disappears. With a sigh, I sit back down on the throne, crossing my legs once seated. I feel heavier than normal, and for good reason; My belly is swollen, life kicking around inside. It’s only been about 7 months, but with a clever magical strategy, I managed to accelerate the pregnancy by two months. So, any day now, I will be meeting Julius’s child.

“Don’t bother me with this nonsense again. Just be grateful that I’ve given your life more meaning than you’re capable of yourself. Goodbye.”

Finally, everyone leaves, still muttering about the display of power I decided to throw out. 

“You really shouldn’t be so rash, they’re just going to hate you more.”

Adeline lectures me, as usual, as she holds my hand to help me up the stairs to our room. We moved into one of the empty rooms together. I don’t know why, but I didn’t feel like it was right to keep sleeping in the old bed. I still brought the robe with me, and it sits on a chair in the corner by the window. “One of these days, it’s going to come back to bite you.”

“Eh.” I shrug, not denying it. As things stand now, they’ll have to target another Wizard King soon. “I want to get through this Spade nonsense first before worrying about that.”

“Understandable.” Adeline leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Come on, you need to sleep.”

The two of us cuddle up under the blankets. I close my eyes and inhale her scent, a smile traced onto my lips. When we’re here, all alone, I almost forget about the world outside, and the fate within me.

However, the peace is short lived.

A scream rips through the early morning, jolting me from my trance. I sit up in a panic to see Adeline already awake, her eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. A cold sweat coats her skin, and she’s shaking violently. “Adeline?! What’s wrong- hey-” I get cut off as she throws herself into my arms, bawling into my chest. I freeze up, not able to do much but stroke her hair awkwardly. I’m not the best at comforting people, since Julius was the one in charge of that back in the day. But slowly, Adeline starts to calm down, her sobs quieting. “So… a nightmare?”

“No… worse…” Adeline finally sits up, her eyes dilated with fear. “I… I got a flash.”

_ A flash…. _

Adeline’s  _ Celestial Clairvoyance  _ magic allows her to see flashes of the future, and sometimes those flashes come at random times, like when she’s asleep. I gulp nervously, my fingertips going cold. Usually these flashes help me in some way, but from the look in her eyes, I know this one is serious.

“What did you see?”

Adeline squeezes her eyes shut.

“Bones… bloodstained bones. Fire. Rotting flesh. And a tree… a huge tree being uprooted as an even larger one grows beneath it. And-” Her eyes pop open.

“A butterfly…”

My blood runs cold.

“Or maybe it was a moth…”

I take Adeline’s hand to distract her (and myself). “I see… I think I know what it means. Something we already knew.” I give her a strained smile. “War is coming… and soon.”

Slowly, Adeline nods. Somehow, I’ve managed to calm her down. “Right… right.” She glances over at the clock. “It’s early, but I’m going to get up. I don’t think I can sleep any longer.”

“Alright. I’ll do the same.”

Only fifteen minutes later, Marx comes bursting into the office, out of breath. “I have news from the Heart Kingdom- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!”

Adeline and I almost jump out of our skins at the sound of the voice. We freeze in our position. Of course he had to come running in as we decided to have a little make-out session, with me sitting up on the desk to reach her lips. My face heats up, and Adeline opens and closes her mouth trying to find an excuse. “Um… I was… feeling the baby?”

Marx lets out a rattling sigh before closing the door behind him. “Some things never change… anyway, the news from the Heart Kingdom-” He straightens up, looking worried. “They were attacked by a mobile fortress from the Spade Kingdom early this morning.”

“WHAT?!” My eyes widen and I hop off the desk immediately. “This morning!? What happened? Are we at war?”

“Not quite…” Marx sucks in a breath. “Our knights over there were able to stop them and even take over a border town. The situation deescalated so now we’re just waiting for the Spade Kingdom to retaliate.”

“Oh… oH!” I let myself relax. “That’s great news… hopefully this promises good things to come.”

“I hope so…” Marx looks at Adeline. “Come on, I have some work for you to do downstairs.”

“Awww, ok.” Adeline pouts before leaning in to give me a kiss. “See you later!”

“Yeah, of course!” I wave goodbye before sitting back down in my chair and pulling more paperwork towards me. The door shuts, and I am alone.

_ So… it’s going to end soon, right? _

I reach down and rest my hand upon my belly. 

_ I need to give birth to you before the war begins… so I can fight, and… _

I close my eyes. Mana starts to course into my belly, time spinning around the baby gently. This is how I’ve sped up my pregnancy, bit by bit, not noticeable by anyone but myself. Any day now, I would be able to give birth.

And then, I smell blood. My eyes pop back open. I take my hand away from my stomach and reach up to wipe under my nose. Sure enough, a red streak comes with it.

_ Oh, fuck- _

It hits me with as little warning as usual, the tidal wave of pain ripping through my head and through my soul. WIth a strangled cry, I spasm in my seat, my head thrown back against the head of the chair. The agony intensifies, this episode growing worse and worse with every moment. It happens infrequently, but over these last months it visits as a reminder of the fate ahead of me.

_ NO…. not yet… _

I can feel what’s left of my soul desperately tugging itself away, desperately trying to die.

_ Just a little longer… _

I clench my fist as lights pop at the corners of my vision.

_ I need… I need to die on the battlefield. _

The lights get brighter, blinding me. A moth flutters towards me.

_ Not… YET… _

\------------

_ “Oh god… oh god please wake up…”  _

Adeline’s voice eventually coaxes me back to life. I blink my eyes open to see her, Marx, and Owen standing above me with scared looks on their faces. “W-What happened?”

“You had another spasm episode,” Adeline tells me softly. “How do you feel?”

A spike of panic shoots through me. “T-The baby-”

“It’s fine, perfectly healthy,” Owen assures me. “I’m more worried about  _ you.” _

I gulp nervously at the way they’re looking at me. I can tell that they know I’m hiding something.

“Sorry… I can’t control the seizures. I’ll try and warn you next time I feel it coming on.”

Owen sighs. “Right… well, I need to run and check up on the others. I’m sure they’re also traumatized…”

“Traumatized?” I repeat. Owen stiffens up, and so do Marx and Adeline. The tension has grown, but for what reason? “Wait, what’s going on? How long was I out?”

“Hours…” Adeline whispers. Owen exchanges a glance with Marx before leaving. “It’s evening now… and… well…”

“There’s been a development.” Marx finishes her sentence as she trails off. “Listen… while you were out… there were more attacks. One in the Heart Kingdom and two here.”

My eyes widen, but he doesn’t give me a chance to talk.

“There are three devil hosts in the Spade Kingdom… they call themselves the Dark Triad. And…”

Adeline hangs her head, unable to look me in the eye.

“They kidnapped Lolopechika… and…”

There’s static in my ears. His next words are fuzzy.

“They took Yami and William, too.”

_ A huge tree is uprooted as an even larger one grows beneath it. _

_ A moth flits through its branches. _

_ Fate has arrived. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh.... next time, chapter 16: the shadows. Yami and William are gone, and the apocalypse has arrived. What is one supposed to do when the inevitable stands ahead of you? We'll see what our poor Wizard King decides to do...


	16. the lengthening shadow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy. This is where the story takes a very dark turn. Let me know what you think and any theories you might have!!!! A lot happens here... MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS GOING FORWARD!

_ “Surprise!” _

_ “What?! Hey- guys-” I couldn’t help but let out a little scoff of a laugh as I crossed my arms. “I told you, you can’t just sneak into the base! Remember what happened last time?” _

_ “Yeah yeah, your whole squad attacked us. But this is worth it.” Yami gestured to William, who was beaming behind his mask and holding up a bottle of wine. “We got ya a gift.” _

_ “Huh? What for?” I eyed the bottle suspiciously, wondering if this was a little prank. According to the label, this was some expensive liquor, and must have cost them a lot of money. It looks sealed, ruling out the theory that they just funneled some cheaper wine into an empty bottle. _

_ “Well, you’re leaving tomorrow morning, right?” William asked. “You’ll be gone for your birthday, so we thought you’d like a token of our friendship before you go.” _

A token of our friendship.

_ Slowly, I reach out and take the bottle. “Guys… thank you.” I can’t stop myself from grinning as I looked up at my two strange yet dear friends. Maybe we were on two different squads, but it was just like Yami said before: The three of us are the strangest members of the magic knights. A foreigner, a man with a tacky mask and a girl with a creepy mark. The three of us… we were meant to stick together. We had each other’s backs. _

Had each other’s backs.

_ “We can’t drink it tonight, though, I have to be up early tomorrow.” _

_ “Well-” Yami smirked and clapped me on the shoulder while William kept smiling. “I guess we’ll have to drink it when you get home.” _

_ …. _

_ …. _

“We never did end up drinking it together, did we?”

That bottle of wine… it was in my room when the royal guard came for me. After the trial and my rank was stripped, I found it smashed to pieces on the floor, the contents staining the ground like blood.

_ And now… _

I hold a bottle of a considerably more potent liquid in my hand now. My grip is shaky; my fingertips cold. My mouth is dry, screaming for a taste. The only thing keeping me back from downing it all is the faint kicks in my belly.

_ Yami… William… _

It’s late. No light comes in through the window. 

_ Please… stay alive…  _

If I lose them… I’ve lost the last good memory I have.

“Hey… hey!”

Someone suddenly comes up behind me, their arms reaching around me. I don’t move or even react as they pry away the bottle, stepping back when it’s been removed. Slowly, I let out a sigh through my nose, then turn to look at Marx. His worry is etched all over his face, the lines around his eyes deepening as if he’s aged 15 years. None of us have slept since the news. 

“Seriously… right when we need you the most. And the baby! That stuff will hurt them.”

His voice is just as scolding as ever, and in a weird way, it comforts me.

_ “Julius! What on earth are the two of you doing?” _

_ “Honestly, you need to  _ help  _ me get him to do his job, not hinder me!” _

_ “Maybe I’ll let you have a day off… but only if you can force him to finish those reports!” _

Years and years of memories are within those eyes, within those words. But they’re clipped with anxiety, with a tenseness that makes my heart sink.

_ The good old days… they really are over, aren’t they? Marx… you don’t see me as the person I was six months ago. I was a girl, someone eager to prove themselves and be of use to the kingdom. But now, I wear a heavy crown on my head, my body wilting underneath it. Do you think… I will let this Kingdom wilt with me? _

There’s nothing I want more than to tell him that I won’t be a problem for him for much longer. But… I can’t.

“I… wasn’t actually going to drink it.” I shake my head a little, conjuring up a strained smile before turning to walk past him and towards the door. “I was just thinking about it.” I pause for a moment to glance back at him. “Everyone is here, then?”

Marx stares at me quietly, contemplatively, before clearing his throat to answer. “Yeah… everyone but Nacht. I haven’t heard from him yet.”

_ Of course he’ll be late… I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t show up at all,  _ I think. Nacht is probably far away, unable to reach us. A pity, because his intell would be crucial right now.  _ Well, we have to go off what we have… Yuno and the others were present for the fights, and even heard about the Dark Triad’s plan. _

“I see. We’ll start without him.”

Eight captains rise to their feet as I enter the room. Among them is Yuno, his tall, thin frame weighted down by the battle he had been forced to witness. I catch his eye for just a moment before he looks away. They’re dull, their golden glint completely gone. Many of his comrades are dead, the Golden Dawn absolutely decimated. My heart clenches at the thought.

_ God… if only I were there… if only I could have fought… _

Of course, that would have been impossible. Even just walking to the head of the room is taxing on my unwieldy body, and I have to hold Marx’s arm as I move. I can feel the captains’ eyes burning into me, all of them fixated on the baby I carry. Ever since I broke the news to them, their reactions were the same: they wanted to protect me, because I carried something more precious than they could have ever imagined.  _ The child of Julius Novachrono… the child of two wizard kings, a child of two worlds.  _

_ Will this baby even be human? _

_ Or will it have black eyes and a cursed mark, just like me? _

I finally sit down, the chair creaking slightly underneath me. A little embarrassed, I clear my throat as I pull my robe around myself to hide my frame. “So… let’s begin.” The other captains sit down, most of them blank in the face. Nervously, I pick up the papers on the table before me and give them a quick once-over. “So… according to the reports of the Black Bulls, the goal of the Dark Triad is to open up a gate to the underworld… the world of Devils.” A shiver runs down my spine. “This gate is called the  _ Tree of Qliphoth,  _ and the requirements to construct it are the powers of a Dark magic mage and a World Tree magic mage…” My hand clenches slightly on the paper, crumpling the corner. “That would be Yami and William.”

“Those two… they really got abducted?” Rill asks, his eyes wide. “Are the Dark Triad really that powerful?”

“Or maybe they were just incompetent,” Charlotte answers for me, her eyes hardened, unreadable. I stare at her a moment longer. I’ve known her for years now, her crush on Yami is obvious. But today, her face betrays none of the fear I know swirls inside her. 

“Trust me…” Yuno’s voice picks up, his words monotonous and tired. “They are more powerful than a captain. The one that defeated us…”

“Keh Keh, I bet you just got in the way-” Jack’s harsh laugh cuts the boy off. “You’re just scared… that’s your first mistake-”

He cuts himself off when he realizes how Fuegoleon is looking at him. “Jack… even William couldn’t defeat him. And now, our world may be connected with the next. It’s best that we make a plan and move quickly.”

“Yami and William may already be dead-”

“Do NOT assume the worst,” Charlotte cuts in over Rill once again.

“This is ridiculous! None of us will agree on a plan of action anyway.” Jack suddenly rises to his full height, his wing-like cloak glimmering in the candlelight as he turns to leave. “I’m gonna go protect my own squad for now-”

“Jack.” Nozel is the one who speaks this time. “If you go do anything on your own-”

Jack looks back to give him the evil eye. “Who said I was? That’s a dumb idea, even I know that-”

“None of us are doing anything on our own!” Charlotte speaks up. “Yami… I want to help him! And William too! We can’t just sit here and argue about it!”

Nozel glares at Jack. “Don’t think you’re the only one who wants this. I will finish that foreigner off with my own powers-”

“Enough!” Flames dance dramatically around Fuegoleon as he rises to his feet, his presence swelling throughout the whole room. It’s warm now, like a blazing bonfire, and I can’t help but smile a little to myself.  _ Just like that, everyone is silenced… Fuegoleon, I was right to choose you as my successor.  _

“It seems like you all have a desire to act… but…”

Cold seeps into the room as fast as it was warmed. All of the captains reel around towards the source of the new voice. I raise an eyebrow, electing to stay silent for now as a figure rises out of the shadows. Under one cloaked arm, he carries a small, muscular boy.  _ Asta. _

“I can’t stand people who can’t even hold a proper meeting.”

_ Nacht… it’s been years. I’ll let you take it from here. _

“W-Who-” 

Of course, all at once, the captains’ hostility is turned onto the new, unfamiliar man in the room, who happens to be standing a little too close to their King. “Intruder! Stand down!” Charlotte orders, shooting her briars at him. The others are queuing up spells as well.

“... oh, you don’t recognize me?”

Suddenly, four dark figures appear in the room, their limbs reaching out to hold each of the captains in place. They freeze where they stand.  _ Devils?  _ I watch silently with Marx as the creatures float above us menacingly. 

“Who are you?” Fuegoleon asks again, his eyes widening at Nacht’s power.

Nacht just laughs quietly, letting Asta down to stand on the floor beside him. “Someone who’s just as qualified to attend this meeting as you are.”

“This is Nacht Faust,” I finally say, glancing up at the back of his head. “He’s the vice captain of the Black Bulls… I called him back from his undercover position in the Spade Kingdom. Although…” I frown up at him as he finally turns to look me in the eye. “I… didn’t know you were also a devil host?”

His lips are curled into a cold smile as he stares down at me. “Oh you… I didn’t want to believe that you were actually Wizard King now. And while pregnant, too-” His eyes flicker down to my stomach then back to my indignant face. “There’s much to fill you in on… which is why I’m here.”

He throws something on my desk; a diagram of a tree with ten circles on it.  _ Is this Qliphoth?  _ Nacht answers my question immediately. “The ritual of the Qliphoth will be underway any moment now. Yami and William will be used as the catalyst, and over the next seven days, seven gates will be opened.”

I pick up the paper, gulping nervously.  _ The Qliphoth tree… It’s been opened before, hasn’t it? Thousands of years ago… the Simulcian history didn’t begin until afterwords, if I remember correctly.  _ I clench my fist, resolve filling me.

_ Simulcia… you were the one who ended its destruction last time, weren’t you? _

“Ten devils are matched with its branches. Each one more powerful than the last. And once the final devil, Lucifero, emerges…”

Nacht’s icy gaze sweeps across the captains’ faces, his smile still in place.

“This world will end.”

A chill runs through the room along with his eyes. Nacht smiles again, unfazed. “And Yami and William will die once their magic is no longer needed. So… seven days from now. If that.”

“The end of the world…” Rill shudders. “Why would they try to bring that about?”

“Who knows?” Nacht shrugs, but his gaze hardens. “They are evil… pure, unadulterated evil.”

_ Evil… _

I look up at the back of Nacht’s head again. This man, who spent his life living in the heart of the Spade Kingdom… claims to have seen a pure evil. The evil required to end the world…

_ But… they aren’t really ending the world are they? They’re creating it… they want a world where only the strong can survive. Why? Maybe for fun… _

_ Is it really so evil… to want to recreate the world? _

_ Because… isn’t that exactly what I once wanted to do? _

“We will have to move quickly. There’s not much time, for our world or Yami and Vangeance.” Nacht gestures to the others. “Asta…” his hand lands on the boy’s shoulder. “He will be our ultimate warrior. His anti magic will be a trump card against the Dark Triad. Around him, we will build a force of those with the potential to defeat the devils, and assault Spade Castle before it is too late.”

_ I see… _ I nod along, smiling a little at the thought.  _ Together… we can strike. We can stop the Dark Triad! _

“The members of the Dark Triad must be taken down…” Nacht continues. “Each of them has dual attributes. Zenon is the one with Bone and Spatial magic. Vanica has Curse and Blood magic. And Dante Zogratis… he has Body magic-”

_ Dual attributes? None of those sound too bad- _

“-and Gravity magic.”

Static fills my brain.

_ Gravity magic…. _

_ “There is no gravity mage strong enough to achieve my goal.” _

Dante Zogratis… who wields the magic of a devil, and gravity magic…

Nacht is still talking with the others, but his words are slurred and blurry. I nod along silently, completely confined within my own mind.

_ Gravity magic… gravity magic… _

My hands shake. Adrenaline pumps through my weary heart.

_ Gravity magic… _

I part my lips, letting out a quiet, small gasp.

_ I… I… _

A spark of hope flares up within my soul.

_ I can do it… if I can take that magic… _

A hand lands on my shoulder, jarring me from my thoughts. I look up to see that it’s Marx’s hand. “You alright? Everyone’s leaving…”

“Oh… yeah…” I shake my head, my heart still pounding. Temptation is calling, stronger than ever before. Who knew that a man, miles and miles away, would be the answer to my problem.

_ No… wait… didn’t I promise- _

“What was the plan again?”

“Three days. We depart for the Spade Kingdom.” I look up to see that Nacht is still with us in the empty room, an amused look on his face. I bristle a little.  _ He’s laughing at me… he thinks I’m a proper invalid now, right? I’ll show you…  _ “I’m in charge of creating the squad.”

“...right.” I’m not exactly happy with how he just… took over, but after all he’s the spy with all the intell. “Good…” Slowly, with a helping hand from Marx, I rise to my feet and start to walk off towards the door. “I want a team of capable people around me… I trust you can do that.”

“You? Around  _ you?” _ Nacht chuckles, causing me to stop in my tracks. “You’re not going.”

“What?” I turn back around to give him a confused look. “I’m the Wizard King… It’s my job to lead them-”

“Don’t joke with me, your majesty. You might wear the crown, but I know that you’re massively out of your depth.” Nacht smirks as he steps towards me. “Not just the fact that you’re pregnant… but also…”

My blood freezes as he comes to a stop ahead of me.  _ Nacht… what did you learn…  _

“And I’m not the only one who knows… the Spade Kingdom figured it out, too. They know what you are.”

His eyes glint cruelly.

“ _ You’re a monster, aren’t you? A monster who’s dying-” _

“Nacht-” I finally speak up to overwhelm his whisper before Marx can hear too much. “You’ve made your point… but this is my fight, too.”

“If you say so… but I won’t let you.” Nacht steps away, his black cloak sweeping around his body. “Your…  _ state  _ will prevent you from fighting properly. You’ll be nothing but dead weight. And if you have the misfortune of facing Dante…” He reaches out to the doorknob, glancing back at me one more time. “Gravity slows down time. It’s basic relativity. So good luck getting close to him.”

With that last stinger, he turns and disappears into the shadows once again. Asta scurries after him, glancing up at me once before mouthing “sorry” and leaving too. The door shuts, leaving Marx and me alone once again.

“He… he has a point.” Marx starts to say. “If anything happened to the baby-”

“Who cares about the baby.” 

He freezes as the frustrated whisper leaves my lips. I bite down on the inside of my mouth, instantly drawing blood. I clench my fist under my robe, to keep my hands from shaking.

_ Nacht… you’re right… I can’t fight. Or even win… _

But…

_ I have to fight. I know I can’t win, but if I can’t even fight… then I’ll die as useless as I was born. _

I can’t just die. I have to be a martyr. I have to be the Wizard King who sacrificed herself for the Kingdom. Just like Julius did.

_ Two things have to happen… _

_ Maybe I don’t have to die. Not in the way I intended. Maybe I can still carry out the plan.  _

_ I’m already useless, aren’t I? I let my two best friends get taken, and now the whole world might end because of my blunder. I failed… and sacrificing myself might not be enough to atone for it. The least I can do is fix the mess at the source. _

_ But to do that… I need to defeat a Gravity Magic user. Nacht is right, Adeline told me this same thing long ego. Time is vulnerable to Gravity… so what do I need to use to defeat it? _

I already know. I’ve known all along that it would come down to this. 

_ And then… I need to be able to move. This baby… _

“Where are you going?”

“Don’t follow me.” 

I leave the room, and walk down the hallway on my own. My knees ache, my back burns, but I keep walking towards the perimeter of the castle. 

_ This is going to be tough to get right… but I guess this is the best I can do. If this baby dies, it doesn’t matter. It will be born again, after all. _

My fingertips are cold.

_ But I still want to do my best… I only have three days. _

“Oh? What’s going on? Why are you here?”

Owen and the other doctors watch in shock as I just walk on into the hospital, breezing past them on my way up the stairs. 

“I’ll be in room 12. Leave me alone for five minutes, though,” is all I tell them, not sparing a glance back. I ascend the staircase, making my way through the dark hall until I reach room 12. I quickly enter and shut the door behind me. With a heavy sigh, I reach up, undoing the chain that keeps my robe secured. It drops to the ground, and I step out of it and towards the bed. I kick off my shoes, then finally reach up, lifting the crown off of my head. It’s heavy in my hands, just as heavy as it was on my head, and I carefully place it on the bedside table.

Then, I crawl onto the bed, crossing my legs and letting my hands rest upon my knees. With one last deep breath, I let my eyes close.

_ Here goes nothing… but this has to be done. _

My magic activates, and my body suddenly starts to glow.

_ Time magic… Chrono  _ _ Accelerationem. _

Magic warps around my body, centered around my stomach. I grip my knees at the strange feeling, my nails digging through the fabric of my tights and into the skin below.

_ More… MORE. _

It’s farther than I’ve ever gone. I had hoped the end wouldn’t come so soon, but here it is. Somehow, someway, I will give birth to this child today. Dead or alive.

_ I need to fight… I NEED TO FIX EVERYTHING. _

Then, the water breaks. 

With a gasp, I collapse backwards as pain shoots through my body, centered in my core. Something is kicking, screaming, desperate to be let out.  _ T-That’s a baby, alright-  _ I open my mouth, silently crying out.  _ Ow… OW!  _ I clench again, and sound finally escapes my throat: a dry, loud shriek that rips me apart from the inside.

_ Please…. _

The pain intensifies, and I hear footsteps thundering into the room.

_ “She’s gone into labor!! Get everyone you’ve got!” _

Owen’s voice is fuzzy.

_ Owen… Marx… Adeline… and…  _ you.

Tears prick at the corners of my eyes.

_ This is my first step…  _

A blue moth flits across my vision, closer and closer.

_...Towards my fate. _

Darkness descends through my mind. It goes cold, the last flame of hope flickering away. The hope that I could live up to everything  _ he  _ was. Because now… I know for sure that I am selfish.

_ I’m sorry, Julius… but… I’ve made my choice. _

_ There is no such thing as evil on this earth. _

Someone is yelling at me to push.

The pain is worse.

A soft hand clutches mine, a soft voice floating through the cold.

_ No such thing… but me. _

….

…

…

…

Light flows in through the window. Beautiful, golden dawn.

_ Light.  _

Something cold and wet rests upon my forehead. I blink my eyes open, squinting slightly in the light. Slowly, I reach up to feel a damp cloth on my face. 

_ What happened… where am I? _

Someone snores.

I turn my head, spotting a figure sitting in the chair by my bed.

_...Julius? _

I blink, and their face comes into focus. It’s Adeline, slumped over with my robe wrapped around her shoulders for warmth. Her eyes are red and puffy, but she looks… peaceful.

_ She was crying… _

I reach down, smoothing my hand over my lower stomach. The bump is gone, the only remnants being the soft pads of fat that once sheltered a precious life.

_ The baby… where is it? _

I sit up, letting the towel slip off my face and onto the pillow. I look around, seeing that Adeline and I are completely alone. 

_ Oh… so… did it survive? _

Maybe… maybe it’s for the best that I don’t know. I have another job to do, after all.

Slowly, I stand up, a little weak on my feet but stable enough to get dressed. I fasten my belt, then slip into my shoes. My clothes were folded carefully on the dresser. My mark pulses with pain as I move, as if it’s willing me to lay down and go back to sleep again. Maybe forever.

_ Soon… be patient. I’ll let you die soon. But not until I see him again… _

Before I leave, I look back at Adeline’s sleeping form.

_ I… _

If everything goes according to plan… me and her… the love we shared.

_ I’m sorry. I have to break our promise. I hope I made you happy… _

But I know it’s a lie. I know I’ve only been a source of sadness for her… and perhaps she will never know why she dies.

_ Goodbye… Adeline. _

Blinking wetness out of the corner of my eye, I finally turn to leave, closing the door behind me. Now, it’s time for the next section of my plan. Theoretically, it should be easy. I’ll be doing something I’ve fantasized about doing since my first day in office. But somehow, I know it won’t be easy in the slightest. 

“OH MY GOODNESS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

I freeze, then look up to see Marx thundering down the steps, a livid look on his face. “You’re out and about?! Absolutely not!!! You need to get back in bed RIGHT NOW! HONESTLY-” He looks more mad and scared than I’ve ever seen him. “You just gave birth… and-”

“The baby-” I cut him off. “... did it-”

“The  _ baby  _ is getting  _ bathed  _ while you’re supposed to be resting!”

For a split second, relief fills me.

_ It survived… _

But it’s short lived. Marx keeps talking. “Honestly… if you want to see her-”

My eyes suddenly widen.

_ H-Her- _

“MARX-” I suddenly yell, silencing him immediately. He stands there, frozen in place, as I stagger forward. My eyes are wide, almost crazed, and a faint spark of true  _ anger  _ suddenly flashes through the pitch black irises.

“Don’t you dare… tell me  _ anything  _ about that baby.”

He opens and closes his mouth, gasping out just one word.

“W-Why?”

I straighten up, then take a deep breath through my nose.

_ I can’t know… I don’t need to. Because, in just a couple of days… _

“Because I said so.” I open my eyes again, and they are as empty as ever. Marx stares into them, fear within his own gaze. “There’s just one thing I want to know…”

_ I’ve thrown everything away. Friendships, humanity.... And my chance at life. I will throw away more, if I have to. _

“Marx… tell me…”

And now… this next step…

The thought of carrying it out is delightful. I let my mouth split into a mirthless smile. 

“ _ Where is Patri?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME! Chapter 17: the waning light. Judgement finally falls upon an enemy.


	17. the waning sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a sad chapter? I mean that's nothing new tho.

My head still pounds as I take flight. My body wobbles, ungainly, as it’s still a little early for me to be moving around so much. Marx was right about that, at least. I squint a little against the bracing wind and bright sunlight. The sun is getting close to the western horizon. Yami and William are over there somewhere, along with the queen of the Heart Kingdom.  _ Our enemy is over there. _

_ No… they aren’t my enemies. _

I turn my gaze back south, towards the green of the Heart Kingdom. Two words circle through my mind, again and again, endlessly pounding themselves into my brain along with the dull agony of my quickly approaching fate.

_ Patri…  _

_ Elysia. _

A secluded village of elves located in the strong magic region to the southwest of the Heart Kingdom, that is where Patri and the third eye traveled to after the whole reincarnation incident. I can remember now, the request to leave. I was hesitant to agree, but in the end, I convinced myself not to care so much and to move on. Unneeded anger would just make my last hours unpleasant. 

But now… that anger is  _ needed.  _ I close my eyes and focus on those moments before, where there was nothing I wanted more than to kill him with my own hands.

_ He… he killed Julius. _

But it wasn’t his fault.

_ You can’t think about the Devil. Just him. _

The memory of that dreadful moment floods back. Pain, searing through my heart as if I had been stabbed through with pure light. I remember how I screamed and writhed, and begged for it to end.

_ Julius… that pain… it was his. _

I open my eyes. All my doubts are gone.

_ And Patri… you’re the one who gave him that pain. _

Those same thoughts circle through my head, stoking a growing flame. A flame I need to burn away all pity and doubt that I might develop later, when the time comes. But even within this vicious spiral, my mind begins to wander.

_ The baby… it was a girl. _

_ It  _ is  _ a girl. _

I clench my fist by my side as I continue to fly. The unforgiving wind blows any evidence of tears away before they can streak down my face.

_ I had to do it… I had to leave her behind. If I saw that baby, everything would come crashing down around me, I know it. I can’t afford to lose any more time. The fate of the entire world depends on it. _

And after all… she would be born again, into a kinder world.

With a resounding  _ whoosh,  _ I fall down into the dense forest, leaves and branches whipping past my body, before landing on my feet on the forest floor. The wind clears, and the bushes rustle as anyone in the area runs to find a place to hide. I close my eyes again, taking in a deep breath. The air here is saturated with mana. It’s familiar on my skin; maybe a memory of Saida’s when she possessed my body. In any case, I’m here, and it’s time to find Patri.

I walk by myself through the forest, not sure of how long my search will be.

“W-What?!”

Pretty short, it turns out. I turn at the sound of the familiar voice, freezing up as I spot a group of people hurrying towards me.

“Noelle?”

The silver haired girl leads the pack. Her eyes light up as she realizes that it is, indeed, me. Behind her runs none other than Mimosa, quickly followed by Nero, Leopold, and Charmy bringing up the rear. For a moment, I let myself smile genuinely. They are truly a sight for sore eyes. 

I stay where I am, and let Noelle throw herself into my arms. “Why are you here? And-”

“The baby-” Mimosa asks, worried. “I thought you weren’t due for a couple more months-”

I gulp nervously. “I… I gave birth prematurely. Don’t worry, the baby is fine-”

“Are you here to train us too?!” Leopold cuts in excitedly. “Gadjah and the elves have been helping us for the past few days!”

Nero nods along silently.

His excitement is refreshing; in fact, all of the kids radiate a confidence and determination that I can’t help but feel like I lack. For a brief moment, I forget the morbid reason why I’m here. These kids are the next generation, after all; one of them will be Wizard King one day. I want to answer  _ Yes, I’m here to train you. We’ll defeat the Spade Kingdom together! _

But I don’t say it.

“I’m… actually here to see Patri,” I finally respond, watching as Noelle stands back to look at me curiously. “I don’t know how long it’ll take, but I need to talk to him. Can one of you-”

“I’m here.”

My expression drops a little, as I turn around to look at the elf who just emerged from the woods. Patri looks the same as he always has, albeit with a black sclera in one of his eyes, dressed in comfortable robes. I exhale softly, my heart starting to pound at the sight of him. I’m not sure if it’s with apprehension or anger. “Hello… um…” I glance over at the kids. “Can we go somewhere private?”

Patri gives me a long look before answering. “Yeah, of course.” He gestures for me to follow him back into the woods. I turn and flash a quick smile at the kids before proceeding.

Neither of us talk as he leads me down the ancient forest path. The silence is only broken by the soft sounds of our shoes moving over the grass, punctuated by a snapping twig every now and then. I keep my thoughts to myself, my gaze fixed on Patri’s ponytail. Part of me just wants to get it over with as soon as we’re out of earshot of the others; to strike him down and take the key I need. 

But I don’t do such a thing. I keep walking, clenching my fists at my sides.

_ I want to do it properly. Maybe Patri killed Julius, but I still respect him as a warrior. He defeated me in battle, after all… I owe him the last respect of telling him why I have to do this. _

“This is the first time we’ve been alone together since we fought.”

Patri finally speaks, turning his head slightly to glance back at me. He slows to a stop in a clearing, at the base of a large tree. Flowers dot the meadow, species that I’m unfamiliar with. A few butterflies and bees flit between the stems. “Do you remember?”

“... of course.” I smile a little, crossing my arms as I walk around to look into his eyes. He seems so calm… and oddly resigned. “It was a humiliating defeat.”

At those words, Patri’s mouth twitches for just a moment, and a sound that could be interpreted as a laugh leaves his lips. “I wouldn’t say that… you fought bravely. And you’ve grown so much since then. I mean… you’re the Wizard King now…”

His voice trails off as he breaches that subject. My breath catches in my throat, and I quickly look away. My inner flame flares up again.

_ How dare you… even think about him… _

But it’s quickly quelled as a bird lets out a call, somewhere far above. The awkwardness is still thick, but not hostile.

“So… what did you need?”

For some odd reason, those words do not form a question. He already knows, doesn’t he?

Summoning a last bastion of courage, I raise my gaze back to his. “We’ll be facing the Dark Triad head on in two days… one of them has a power that I need to take for myself. But his gravity magic will cancel out my time magic, and my flame magic won’t be enough to defeat him.”

Silence.

Slowly, Patri lets out a sigh through his nose, his eyes closing for just a moment before flickering open again.

“...how will you take it? The same way you’ll take my light magic?”

I wince internally, his words confirming that he already knew his fate. “Y-yes… although, I don’t want to take your magic by force.” I reach up and rub my other arm, aches shooting through it again. “I can form a link with anyone with a soul. The link I’ll make with you is called a Triad, a union of three souls. Usually, we’d only be able to share memories and magic, but I need to actually take your magic this time.” I almost look away, but it’s like I said before: I owe him this once last respect. “You will likely die in the process, especially since it’s your first time.”

My words hang in the air between us, and part of me wonders if he really understands it.

“...I see.” Patri finally turns away from me, walking towards the trunk of the mighty tree. “This is why you kept me around, right?”

I raise an eyebrow, wondering what he was going to do next. “Well… I didn’t know I would end up needing your magic back then-”

“No.” Patri reaches out, his palm flattening against the wood. He exhales slowly, calmly…

“You kept me around… because you knew that my death would one day help the kingdom.”

_ Help the kingdom? I mean… you’re right… _

“Either way… I was going to die. I knew it from the start. And I don’t blame you.” Patri lets his hand fall from the tree before facing me again. “Whether it was to unite your people… or to defeat an enemy… or even just to help you feel better, I’ve accepted my death.”

We stare at each other for a moment, the understanding settling in. My heart races still, something I thought would stop once I “convinced” him. But in the end, that wasn’t necessary.

_ Patri… even you are selfless. To the highest degree. _

_ Thank you. _

“Patri...”

He does what I want. Patri slowly falls to his knees, his hands resting in the grass. 

_ I… I wish this could be different. _

“For your crimes against the kingdom…”

The words don’t feel as good as I thought they would. I feel like I’ve waited for this moment for years, and yet… I can’t bring myself to feel happy.

_ But I need to do this. _

“...I sentence you to death.”

My hand reaches down, and I feel my mark start to heat up. Patri’s eyes squeeze shut, and I see the same glow start to take shape on his forehead.

_ Dyad Magic. _

He grits his teeth. There’s already blood trickling out of his nose.

_ Triad Creation. _

My hand lands on his head, and the earth shatters around us.

….

….

….

….

_ It’s dark in here… _

There are people screaming.

_ How dare you… how dare you… _

I lived this memory, didn’t I?

_ I stare up at the dark sky as my life fades away. _

No… Patri. This is your memory. Maybe Saida was here too, but this is  _ you. _

_ It hurts… it hurts so much… _

The pain in my heart intensifies. Everything fades away, and I float farther into the abyss. All that exists is pain, stabbing through my head and heart. 

_ Please… make this quick… _

I’m trying.

I sink deeper and deeper into his mind. The pain gets worse and worse, but for once it’s not mine. Patri’s soul shrinks and contorts in my grasp, like a dying animal that wants nothing more than to be put out of its misery.

_ A triad… between Patri, Julius, and myself. _

The three of us stand there in the darkness. Julius is just an outline, just a memory of a soul. 

**_Do you really think… my love is that weak?_ **

What did you mean by that? 

I wish I could have found it, wherever you hid it, Julius. But it’s too late.

_ You’re… dying? _

Patri’s voice echoes through my head, and I turn to look at him. He looks afraid, but there’s pity dwelling within those golden eyes.

… do not pity me. This is my fate. 

_ But- _

Don’t you dare look at me like that!

My hands reach out, and I stagger forward. Patri doesn’t even flinch as I grab his collar and shake him once, hard. I feel something building up inside, where there used to be nothing, a glowing ember of rage.

_ Y _ ou… you KILLED HIM!

I shake him again, and again. Patri does not struggle. Something snaps, and I ball up my fist.

You’re pathetic… you’re a villain! 

_ I know. _

You killed him- TELL ME-

The memory rushes back. Agony, pure agony, my heart stabbed right through, and my life bleeding onto the stone while the sun bled it’s life into the sky.

I felt his pain…

Patri, tell me…

Did he cry? Did he resist? Did he leave this earth writhing and screaming in the same way that he entered it?

_ … he.... _

_ I don’t want to remember. _

I grit my teeth, seeing nothing but red. My fist draws back in preparation to punch.

You’re the most evil being on this earth!

_ I know. _

I hit him, hard, in the center of his face. Patri stumbles back, then falls onto the ground. 

I… I hate-

I can’t even finish the sentence, because it’s not true. 

I can’t hate Patri… maybe I convinced myself to hate him, but I  _ can’t.  _ Because, in the end, it wasn’t his fault. Everything ties back to the devil, to the original sin. And in the end… I would have done the same thing as him. I would have burned the entire world to the ground in my vengeance.

And I will.

Patri shatters into a million pieces, and the world dissolves around me. Light suddenly floods my mind, bright, beautiful light emanating from a new shard of a soul lodged within my own. For a brief moment, our souls were one, sharing all thoughts, all memories, all feelings.

Tears drip down my face as I stare up at the sun. It’s warmth bathes me, but I only feel cold.

For a brief moment… Patri shares something with me. Something I have long forgotten.

**_Self._ **

That broken ego, that barrier that once defined who I was, is momentarily restored.

The sun burns the stone around me. The light in my hands concentrates, intensifying into a long lance- no, a sword- 

_ Wait… wait… this memory… _

My eyes widen as something drips onto my hand.

_ Blood. _

Slowly, I look up, my gaze travelling up the lance of the sword. Blood drips down it, pooling for a moment on the handle, on my clenched fist, before splattering onto the ground at my feet. 

_ No… no… _

Julius stands there, his stature slumped and pained… but he still stands. 

His eyes burn into mine, into my soul, but this time it’s like hellfire rather than holy light. With a hollow gasp, I let go of the handle and stumble back away from him. But he doesn’t fall- he continues to stand, and I cannot escape his gaze.

My heart pounds. I’m frozen in this horrifying memory. 

He opens his mouth to speak. Blood drips from the corners.

_ But he doesn’t fall. _

_ Julius… _

I can’t breathe.

_ You… you’re so strong… _

I watch the sword dissolve away, leaving only a deep, bleeding gash through his chest, through the heart that I loved with every ounce of my soul.

_ I… I would have fallen. _

And I did. Because here I am… stealing the soul that would give me the power to defeat Gravity. And once I defeat gravity…

_ I could never be like you, right? _

_ You would have fought until the very end… but I gave up. _

_ I am weak. So weak… as weak as I was the day I was born. _

There is no love in his eyes. There is no pity. 

**_Why?_ **

His lips move to form that single word.

My answer does its best to stay lodged in my throat, because I am afraid of what I will say.

_ Because…. The world is going to end. This all happened because of my weakness. _

I want to look away, but I can’t. He’s the sunset at the horizon, and I can’t bring myself to close my eyes.

_ There is no future for me… and now there is no future for this Kingdom. Not without you. _

I clench my fist, my resolve building.

_ I don’t care if I have to become the most evil person in the world… I will recreate this world! _

But with Julius’s next words, the tower of my determination is struck down.

**_No… you are ensuring its destruction._ **

With each new word, more blood seeps from his body, down his chin to stain the white fur of his robe.

**_Either way… the world will end. Because of_ ** **you.**

The scene begins to fade away. The light disappears. All that’s left are Julius’s dead eyes, staring into mine through the darkness. The Self fades away with Patri’s life, dissolving away in my hands. Once again, I am left with a cold, empty soul, the two worst parts of me settling back in.

_ I… I am nothing. _

**_You are nothing._ **

_ I am a monster. _

**_You are a monster._ **

_ I will destroy the world. _

**_You will destroy the world. And for what?_ **

_ For… you. _

_ … _

Silence.

Then, the sounds of the forest finally fade back in around me. I breathe in, and something slips out of my hands and falls to the ground with a dull  _ thud.  _

The air is fresh. Mana hangs around me. I open my eyes to see the sunset finally gasping it’s last breath.

There’s a body at my feet. I don’t know if he’s still alive. But it doesn’t matter. I turn away, then drop to my knees. The grass is cold and wet, but it feels so… refreshing.

My tears soon join the dew clinging to the blades.

_ Julius… _

I ball up my fist, uprooting a bit of the grass in my clutches.

_ You lied… your love doesn’t still exist on this earth. _

I lower my head, until it bumps into the ground. My mark thuds with pain at the impact, but I don’t react.

_ You would hate me.  _

My worst fear, finally realized.

My chest heaves as I continue to cry. Everything hurts, every cell in my body. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot something blue flitting towards me. A moth- no

_ Simulcia. _

For a moment, I almost give in and let them land on me. 

_ If Julius hates me… what’s the point? I should just die, right here.  _

I almost resign myself to the decision, but in the moment before she lands, my hand jerks up. With one quick movement, I swat the bug away. My eyes widen when I realize what I’ve done, and I sit up with a jolt. 

It’s not a moth. It’s a butterfly. Just… a normal butterfly. It spins in the air for a moment, confused from the impact, but then it straightens itself out and flies away.

The sounds of bugs and the wind fills the silence around me. The trees rustle on their own, the magic breathing in and out. Slowly but surely, my breath falls into the same rhythm, and I feel myself start to calm down.

_ Breathe. _

Someone once told me to breathe. To inhale and exhale, and think of nothing but that cycle.

_ Cycle. _

I hold up my hand, palm up towards the sky. Almost instinctively, the new soul within me stirs, and a ball of light appears.  _ Good-  _ I clench my fist, and the light slides over my arm like a long glove. I tense up, then punch the air. Once. Then again. And one more time. Each time, the light glows brighter, and I can feel my control already strengthening.

_ It… it was that easy?  _ I open my palm again, and the light retracts into its ball once more.

All I had to do was take control of a Triad, to reach into Patri’s soul, shatter it into a million pieces, and then take one for myself.

_ It was  _ that  _ easy. _

Patri is powerful. And I know Dante will be even more powerful. But thanks to his sacrifice, I now have a better chance of finding victory.

And that’s what it  _ will  _ be. A victory. Maybe not for myself, but for the world.

There is no such thing as  _ myself  _ anymore, anyway. I am just a memory. A person who was loved, but now hated. A person who once had hope, but now it only exists in my death. A person who was once human… but now has given her humanity up.

_ I am nothing. I am evil. I am a monster. And I will destroy the world. _

I turn to lift off the ground, leaving the body behind. I need to find a place, up high, where the air is clear and I can soak up mana for the time remaining before the invasion. I need to clear my mind and concentrate all the power I have, all for my last fight.

_ The entire world will hate me for what I do. One more man won’t make a difference. _

It is a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh! Next time: chapter 18, the rebirth of a world. MC spends days mediating and concentrating her magic to the highest degree before setting off to join the others! But, there's an unexpected bump that may change the fate of the world.


	18. the rebirth of a world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh so I cried like a baby while writing this so have fun!!!!

For two days and two nights, I forget everything. I sink deep into stasis, maintaining mana skin as I sit high up in a tree, where no one will find me. The clear air and the strong mana around me both sink into my pores, flowing through my body, and compounds itself upon the power already within me. The world dissolves away, taking my body and mind with it. All I am is a pair of lungs, breathing out and in, over and over in an endless cycle. 

_ Life and death. Death and life. There is joy in death, and despair in life.  _

_ Breathe. _

Who taught me how to breathe?

_ Mother? _

No… not that woman. 

_ I taught myself. _

There have only been three times in my life where I have been truly at peace.

_ The first- before I was born. _

There was no life, there was no breath. There was only warmth.

_ The second- when I was One. _

His warmth was joined with mine. The bliss of unity. I ceased to exist.

_ The third- Now. _

Warm, golden light envelops me as I breathe. In and out. In and out.

_ There is nothing. I am nothing. I will never be  _ anything  _ again. _

Either way, the world will end. Because of me. So I will become nothing. I will become hated.

_ I have destroyed myself before. And I will do it again. Because… maybe then I can be happy. _

Not me…  _ someone. _

_ What happens to  _ everyone?

_ They will be destroyed, just as I was.  _

There was joy in that destruction. They will find joy in their deaths.

_ And there will be joy in their rebirth. The rebirth of a world worth living in. _

I see nothing but a golden light up ahead. I desperately want to hold it in my hand.

_ I don’t see the bodies I will have to walk over to do it. _

The light will outshine the blood that stains my hands.

_ And then I will die. I will burn in Hell for three eternities, but that will not be enough. _

…

…

…

…

…

_ “I forgive you.” _

I remember how William smiled at me when he said those words. 

_ Patri… will you forgive me, too? _

Of course, he can’t answer. Because I killed him.

_ Why am I doing this? Why am I willing to go so far? _

For a moment, I leave my body, and look into my own eyes. My own dead, cold eyes. What I see is something far from human. What I see is something that  _ scares me.  _

_ Don’t do it… you don’t have to. _

She closes her eyes.

_ You’re going to die anyway. Is it really worth it to take everything down with you? _

_ …  _

Of course, I can’t answer. Because I already killed her.

_ There’s no hope for me. There is no more joy in this world, or love. I will atone for my crimes by committing the worst one of all. _

What do you mean? What crimes? Haven’t I done my absolute best? Is there really no hope?

Yami and William are still alive. My two oldest friends. And even if they die… I have my family. I have Marx! And Nozel and Fuegoleon and Charlotte and Mereoleona… and all the kids… and  _ Adeline…  _ and…

_ My daughter. _

Shouldn’t you spend your last moments fighting for a better world for your daughter?

Isn’t that a spark worth kindling?

_ … _

_ Julius hates me. _

The spark dies.

No… this is just a curse. Any curse can be broken.

_ Not this one. _

Her eyes open, and they are glowing blue. The light is so bright that it drowns out all else, the entire world melting away under its burn.

_ You cannot escape fate itself. _

She smiles, her mouth warping into a toothed grin. She starts to cry, the tears running in two mirrored streaks down her cheeks, black as the blood that flows from a pen. But she keeps  _ smiling.  _

The smile holds an emotion that I cannot even fathom. But somehow, I know its name.

_ Malice. _

_ “I am your fate… and you are the world’s fate.” _

They reach out. The two blinding lights no longer come from her eyes; they come from her wings.

_ Both of their hands glow with marks. _

_ “Isn’t there joy in your shared fate? Isn’t that the closest two people can be? In life, and in death?” _

But… there’s life after death! I’ve seen it- I don’t want to die! I want to be alive! I want to  _ love. _

_ “What is the point… if his love has been removed from this world?” _

Her eyes bulge from her head, splitting into a sheet of thousands of tiny pupils… like an  _ insect. _

There’s other love in this world… I want to experience it!

_ It’s too late. _

_ Either die alone, or die with the entire world. You have no choice. _

Their hands close around my throat and finally break the cycle of my breath.

…

…

With a violent gasp, I’m jolted from my trance, and my eyes pop open. The sound disturbs the area around me, and four birds burst out of the leaves beside me,  _ cawing  _ angrily before flying away. The flutter of feathers subsides, leaving me alone once again in a comfortable silence.

The wind blows across the treetops, a quiet roar that bends branches and tears leaves. My hair flies out of my face, rippling around my head for a moment before everything becomes still once again. 

Sounds erupt as soon as the wind has quelled. Bugs and birds, appearing from nowhere, all raising their voices in a song. A dissonant, confusing song, but a song nonetheless. 

It’s peaceful…

Too peaceful.

After a long moment, I slowly stand up, my knees and back nearly creaking with effort after being stationary for so long. Despite my lack of activity, my body feels light, almost unhealthily light. Maybe it’s just the contrast from my recent pregnancy, but something tells me that my constant output of mana over the last two days may have strengthened some things yet weakened everything else.

_ Fine. I can still fight, though. I feel healthy- _

Right as the thought crosses my mind, the left side of my mark bursts into agony once again. I squeeze that eye shut, simply gritting my teeth. Over these months, the pain hasn’t lessened; I just became better at bearing it. Fortunately, I can sense that I just burnt my candle down to the base, so I won’t have to deal with it for much longer.

“Come on…” I whisper to myself, feeling the pain finally start to dissipate. “I need to go… head out with the others…” Shakily, I take a careful step forward, farther towards the tapering end of the branch. “And then-”

Before I can finish, the world turns upside down. Like skates upon ice, my feet slip out from under me, numb and unresponsive. My eyes widen, and I don’t even have time to shriek before I fall, my limp body plunging like a rock to the bottom of the lake.

_...what- _

I don’t really realize what’s happened until the world fades back in, and the canopy of the forest looms high above. Did I just pass out? And fall out of the tree? What on earth-

Pain floods my body, each bone screaming in protest as I try to move. With a sharp inhale, I manage to roll over, one of my arms flopping uselessly beside me.  _ Shit!  _ I grit my teeth, not sure of what to do.  _ I just fell out of the tree?! What on earth made me do that?  _ My head feels fuzzy and light, as if I just woke up from a long nap, but there’s a familiar feeling of trickling blood down the side of my face and past my ear.  _ Well, I’m probably just an idiot and misstepped… I don’t think I passed out. I hit my head pretty hard, I’ll probably remember what happened later. Anyway…  _

Right on cue, mana within me activates. Bands of numerals start to circle my body, glowing a familiar, comforting blue.  _ Chrono Anastasis.  _ I let out a relieved sigh as the pain starts to disappear, slowly but surely fading into just a memory. My broken bones start to mend, and the blood dries up and flakes off of my face. I wiggle my fingers a little, delightly to feel that they aren’t numb anymore.  _ Well, that was weird… time to go- _

The fuzzy feeling in my head suddenly intensifies as I try to sit up. With only a hollow gasp, I flop back down, my strength leaving my body all at once. My fingers go numb again, and my toes, and everything else.

Panic starts to seep in.

_ What’s going on? Am I- _

The light starts to get brighter. 

_ I’m… Dying… _

All at once, I realize the problem: Right now, I contain the magic of three people; not just their magic, their  _ memories.  _ Shards of their very souls. I am a vessel for Julius and Patri, but my weakened body, a soul that’s already trying to die, is withering under their weight.

_ The moth is flying towards me again. _

“N...n…”

A gargled sound escapes my lips as I desperately struggle to keep my eyes open.

_ Sleep. _

“N-NO-”

_ There has to be something I can do- I’m not done- _

I can see a sunset. I see Patri. He’s grinning malevolently.

_ “Just you try and protect them now!” _

The moth flies closer. 

_ I have to protect them… all of them… I need to live and create that future! _

__ I ball up my fists.

The memory flashes along with the sunset. Patri flies far above.

_ Sealing magic… release! _

That spell… it’s a forbidden spell, one that sealed up the necessary power to unleash patri’s ultimate attack- the one that Julius spent his final moments thwarting. Patri carried that within him, with the help of that spell… 

_ Forbidden magic… doesn’t that need a sacrifice or something?  _

As far as I know, I’m alone. 

_ Either that… or something is going to change about me. _

Like Nero, who used so much forbidden magic that her very humanity was warped. She was confined within the body of a bird for centuries, and even after she returned to a human form, she had horns. The mark of the Devil.

_ Great…  _

The light starts to fade. I’m running out of time.

_ Patri… let me use these memories. Let me live just a little bit longer. Help me cast this spell. _

Of course, he doesn’t answer, but I feel something stir within me. There’s a sound outside, a whirring, unearthly sound.  _ Magic. _

_ I’ll have to sacrifice part of my humanity, just to live a little longer. _

_ That’s ok. _

_ There was hardly any to begin with. _

…

…

…

…

“Where on  _ earth  _ have you been!? And- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?”

Marx stands in my way, his face red with anger as he blocks the hallway. “Your mark- the other half-”

“Get out of my way.”

My voice sounds flat, the words alien as they leave my lips. I can’t recognize its tones anymore.

_ Marx… _

His eyes widen, and his hands start to shake.

_ … I don’t even know who you are. _

No… I don’t. This man is a stranger. I’ve never seen him before. I’ve never talked to him. There were no deep conversations, no commiserating about Julius’s behavior. I’ve never made him coffee, and I certainly don’t know that he likes it with just a dash of milk. 

_ This man is a stranger. _

_ He is not my best friend. _

Slowly, Marx closes his mouth. There’s a strange acceptance in the movement. He doesn’t understand what’s going on, but he is starting to get an inkling. Without another word, Marx steps out of the way. He doesn’t move, or even raise his gaze from the floor as I walk by, my eyes fixed on the hallway up ahead.

_ I don’t know him… I  _ can’t  _ know him. _

I bite my lip as I turn the corner and start ascending the stairs. 

_ I can’t… look him in the eye. _

My room is empty when I reach it, thankfully. Any unwanted visitors would have complicated things, since I need to leave quickly. I strip down and start pulling on a new set of clothes. A clean shirt and skirt, my usual uniform that I haven’t been able to fit into for months; tights; boots lined with fur; a thick grey peacoat with a high collar; and finally, my robe and my Crown upon my head. I unfasten the medals from the front, then turn to look at the empty chair by the window.

Julius’s robe lays draped over the back, still and dusty. Sucking in a breath, I step forward.

_ Here… these are yours. _

Slowly, I place the medals and chain onto the fuzzy white fur, and let my hand stroke it for just a moment. Then, I step back.

_ I’m sorry… I couldn’t keep my promise. _

The room is silent. The entire castle is silent.

_ I know you’ll hate me for this. But in the end… the future will be bright. I’m sorry I couldn’t be like you. _

With one last look, I turn to leave.

Evening falls upon the castle as I make my way down to my usual exit. The candlelight on the walls flickers with my pitch-black shadow, broken only as I pass by a mirror. The sudden sight of my own reflection makes me pause for just a moment. 

_ That’s… me. _

I look like a stranger.

_ I don’t know who you are. _

The mark on my forehead has changed after that forbidden spell. When I woke up, I expected to have some sort of  _ weg;  _ horns, a streak of black over my cheek, or something in that vein. But no. All that happened was that a magic circle was burned into the grass around me, and both sides of my mark were filled in with black. It doesn’t feel any different, but it’s strange.  _ But in the end… it doesn’t matter. I won’t have to worry about it for long. _

The sealing spell will buy me just enough time to win this fight. To win and set everything right, at long last. And then… I’ll let go.

_ What will it be like, I wonder… _

I turn away, and continue to walk.

But I’m not alone. Footsteps thunder towards me, and Marx bursts back into the hallway, out of breath. “S-Stop right there!” he commands, pointing at me. My pace doesn’t falter, and I continue to move as if I hadn’t heard him.

Marx grits his teeth as I advance. “I-I said stop! I need to talk to you.”

“No.”

_ Step. Step. Step. _

“You’re different… something’s wrong, and you better tell me what it is! Hold on-” Marx stumbles as I brush by him, before turning to watch me move away. “Wait! Don’t just leave without a word! Don’t think you can just go out there and die for everyone! I won’t allow it!”

_ Not  _ for  _ everyone.  _ With  _ everyone. _

“STOP!”

His desperate cry falls upon deaf ears.

“Wait-”

Someone else steps into the hallway ahead of me. They’re shadowed by the torches behind them, but I know that voice.

I keep walking.

_ Don’t look at her- Don’t look at her- _

The torches flicker, illuminating her front for just a moment. 

I make the mistake of looking.

No… not at  _ her.  _ Not at her golden eyes. Not at her beautiful face.

No… my eyes are drawn to the thing she’s holding in her hands.

The bottoms of my boots scuff against the stone as I halt suddenly, my body freezing.

_ T-That… _

…

…

_ "Once everything settles down... I... I would like to have a family." _

Julius wanted her so bad.  _ So… so bad.  _

But by some cruel twist of fate, he fell in love with me.

_ Why… _

My vision starts to blur.

_ … why would you look at something like me… with a smile? _

He smiled at me… he promised we would be together forever. He promised that nothing bad would ever happen to me.

_ But that was a lie. _

But there was one promise that he did keep.

_ One way or another… even if it has to be through sheer force of will… _

Something wet starts to drip down my face. My eyes burn, and my heart weakens.

_ “Do you really think… my love is that weak?” _

Slowly, Adeline walks up to me, her form becoming clearer. Despite everything that’s happening, she still wears that kind smile on her face. She comes to a stop in front of me. Slowly, I tear my eyes away from her face and down into the bundle in her arms.

It stirs slightly.

_ I see her face. _

_ My love still exists in this world.  _

A strange sound escapes my lips. It’s almost a sob, not quite a gasp. I can’t tell if it’s sad or happy, because I can hardly remember what it was like to feel either of those emotions.

_ But now… I feel them. I feel them like a million knives in my chest. _

She rolls her head slightly. She has fat cheeks,and a tuft of dark brown hair on her mostly-bald head. 

_ And then, she opens her eyes. _

_ You just have to find it. _

They sparkle like amethysts, like lavender blowing in the wind. She stares up at me through those squinted eyes, but just that little sliver of color is enough to break me.

_ She… she… _

“Do you… do you want to-”

I nod before Adeline finishes her sentence. She nods, then carefully places the baby in my arms. 

She closes her eyes again, but turns her head to snuggle into my warmth.

I stand there, still frozen, with this beautiful, precious thing in my arms. I hold her like she’s made of glass, because she  _ is. _

Julius’s love wasn’t something I had to find. It wasn’t something I had to fight for, or earn.

_ It was always there. Inside me. _

_ You… you are proof of a love that no longer exists. _

_ No… _

I let my head start to hang over her, more and more hot tears bubbling up and streaming down my face. 

_ You  _ are  _ his love. _

_ You are proof… that I am  _ human.

Because Julius’s love was what made me human, in the end. I know that now, I  _ feel  _ that now that he’s gone. But this baby, this child in my arms,  _ my daughter- _

_ She is proof… she is  _ proof.

“I…. I…”

A hushed, weak whimper finally leaves my mouth, barely able to form words as I crumble further and further.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

I whisper those words again and again, warped by my tears and by my guilt. 

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry-”

They raise in volume each time they’re repeated. 

_ I’m sorry- I’m sorry- _

How could I be so selfish?

How could I be so foolish?

_ If only I had known… that you would give me more joy than anything in my entire life- _

_ Joy. _

Two pairs of arms are around me as I sink down to sit on the ground. I melt into a sobbing, shaking mess, but they are  _ there.  _ They are  _ warm. _

“M-Marx- I-’M sorry- and-” I finally look up, a pair of hands holding my face. Adeline is crying too, but she still smiles. “Adeline… I was so unfair to you-”

“Shhh…” She leans forward, and presses her forehead against mine. “It’s alright now. It’s alright.”

Slowly, I close my eyes, one arm holding Joy close while the other wraps around Marx. 

_ But… it’s not alright, is it? _

I sit here, with forbidden magic in my body, with the blood of Patri on my hands, with an enemy knocking at our gates.

_ But even worse… _

I let out another gasping sob.

_ I don’t want to die… I don’t want to die… _

But even if I do…

We sit there for a long time, until my sobs finally calm. After a moment of silence, I take a deep breath before sitting up. Adeline and Marx both sit back, their eyes red and puffy. Even though they have no idea what’s going on, it’s as if they know… and they still want to help.

“Marx…. You’re my best friend.”

His eyes widen a little at the sudden confession. I let out a small smile, the most I can manage right now. “I…”

“It’s ok. But just know that I don’t deserve you.” I shake my head a little before redirecting my gaze to Adeline. “And you…”

_ Julius… _

_ You could never hate me. _

_ Because, no matter what… the two of us know that much. _

_ We were one. I’ve seen your soul. I  _ am  _ your soul.  _

_ You could never hate me.  _

_ And you would be happy to see me love again. _

I reach out to her, and she takes my hand. I give her another strained smile, fighting back more bitter tears.

“I’m so sorry… that you fell in love with me. But…” I sniff once. “I love you, Adeline. That’s the one thing I’m sure of.” 

Out of everyone here, I know that she and Marx are the ones I’ve hurt the most. But even now, they hold me. 

“I love you too... “ Adeline reaches up with her other hand to wipe her eyes. “I don’t know what you were doing… but I’m glad you’re back for now.”

My heart sinks.

_ For now. _

No…

There is no “for now.”

That dark path might have consumed me, but I will fight against the end as hard as I can.

_ I am not the fate of the world… but I can still save it. _

Joy squirms a little, letting out a little sob. My heart jolts out of my chest. “Oh- I-I don’t know what I did, is she okay? Oh god, she’s-”

I cut myself off when I hear laughing. I look up to see both Adeline and Marx chuckling at me. “What?! This isn’t funny!”

“Yes it is! Don’t worry-” Adeline reaches out to stroke Joy’s cheek with the back of her hand. “She’s hungry~”

“Hungry?” I frown, not sure why they’re both looking at me expectantly. Then, it hits me. “Oh… ah…” I let out a nervous laugh. “I probably shouldn’t feed her… I might not be healthy.”

Adeline frowns. “What? What do you mean?”

_ I can save the world… I will. I am the natural enemy of the Devil. I will destroy Qhlipoth and restore peace to this kingdom. And then… _

I don’t answer. I just lean in to give Adeline a kiss.

_ I’ll spend my last days with Marx, Adeline, and Joy. _

When I pull back, Joy is once again nestled in Adeline’s arms. I turn to look at Marx, giving him a sad little smile. 

“I still need to fight… I’ve done too much to prepare for this.” For some reason, I can’t help but chuckle. “It would be a waste to not go at this point, no matter what Nacht says. So… Marx… will you let me go?”

After a moment, Marx smiles, nodding his head. “Of course… go. You’re the Wizard King, after all.”

_ Wizard King… _

_ Yes. There’s still time for me to be the Wizard King. _

With that, I jump to my feet, sudden energy and vigour coursing through my veins. Maybe it’s blind hope, maybe it’s just  _ joy.  _ But right now, I feel like I could take on an army of devils. Adeline looks a little frightened, but after a moment the emotion fades from her face. “That’s right… you need to catch up with the others! The rescue squad left a couple of hours ago!”

“Oh! So the fight’s started without me? How rude!” I grin, giving the two of them a wink. “Keep the castle orderly while I’m gone… I’ll apologize properly when I get back.” I look down one last time at my daughter. Her eyes are open again, and I swear that she smiles, despite only being two days old.

“Take care of Joy… one day, you’ll tell her this story, I’m sure of it.”

Adeline nods, her eyes glinting with determination.

“Yes… both of her parents are Wizard Kings. She’ll hear more stories than this.”

_ Yes… yes she will. _

Because Joy is the daughter of two Wizard Kings. The daughter of Julius Novachrono. She bears my hair, and his eyes. She is  _ human…  _ and if there’s one thing that I’ve learned, it’s that humans are an endless candle of potential.

I have no right to snuff that candle out.

With one last wave, I turn and run off towards the exit, already queuing up magic around me. Due to the forbidden sealing spell, this fight might be a little more… interesting than expected. But I’ve already vowed to not use the magic I sealed away. I no longer need it.

I don’t need to recreate the world in order to make it bright. Because now I can see for myself how bright it is. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time! The battle to rescue William and Yami is underway, and the first devils have emerged from the Qliphoth. Will our Wizard King get there in time? And will she be able to take on three powerful foes at once?


	19. the day of judgement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS, like, from the manga LEAKS lol. But also, this story will diverge from canon after this chapter so strap in!

_ “It’s not very fair, is it?” _

_ “Hmm?” _

_ The waves crashed upon the rocks, breaking into a harsh white mist. The short coastline quickly gave way to a mighty mountain range, shielding them from whatever lay inland.  _

_ “You get to come out here and enjoy the sea, while your family is forced to stay inside. Why don’t you let them come out sometime? As a little ‘vacation’ or something.” _

_ The sea roared. It howled in some strange language, almost like a taunt. _

_ “Ah… I see. Well, they aren’t missing much. This place is cold and wet… the sun never shines. In our old home, there was nothing but blue skies and sparkling sea. This really can’t compare.” _

_ At long last, the man who squatted by the edge rose to his full height. His robe rippled around him in the wind, but in an oddly controlled movement. His hair, pulled back out of his face into a ponytail, let a few stray strands out to dance in the gale, leaving the mark in the middle of his forehead exposed. He was a man in the image of serenity; but Morris had a feeling that he wasn’t really a man at all. _

_ “I feel like I should be a little insulted, Mikal.” Morris shook his head before looking out at the horizon again, a little smile on his face. “This is  _ my  _ home, after all.” _

_ “You don’t love it though, do you?” Mikal finally looked over at the man, his eyes narrowing slightly despite the smile still etched into his youthful features. “You don’t love anything, Morris.” _

_ Mikal was unusual in many ways. Well, this whole  _ situation  _ was unusual. Almost 80 years ago, the Simulcians were driven from their home after a natural disaster. The remaining survivors were just Mikal, his parents, and his four older siblings. They fled to the shores of their only ally: the Diamond Kingdom, where they agreed to lend their power to the military in exchange for a private colony on the coast. This was long before Morris was even born. After making his way into the Royal Science Department, Morris was assigned to the Simulcian outpost, and was surprised to see that their numbers had risen dramatically. The group of seven was now going on 30. Mikal gladly let Morris into their tower to show him his work. New Simulcians were bred artificially from his parents’ cells, and then they were kept in “safety tanks” until they were 18 years old. Then… they were synchronized. _

_ Morris barely understood what it meant to be “synchronized.” The Diamond Kingdom had been familiar with the “Dyad,” a bond between two people which shared/combined their mana, for years. But Mikal somehow managed to create other bonds as well: A tetrad between four people, and a septad between seven people. Morris had no idea what Mikal was trying to do, but something about it was oddly… ominous.  _

_ No… Mikal would never let his family outside. He would never let them out of their tanks, or their links. He trapped them in that prison forever. _

_ Did Mikal truly love  _ them? 

_ “Maybe you’re right…” Morris finally replied. “Although, not entirely… maybe I don’t love  _ anyone,  _ but there are some things I love. How could I not…” He turned his gaze away from the sea and back towards the mountains. “I was born blind, you know... I had to fight hard to find a way to see. And now…” His glasses glinted in the overcast light. “I have the whole world at my disposal.” _

_ “Hm… I wonder what you’ll do with it.” _

_ Something about Mikal’s words sent a shiver up Morris’s spine. Neither of them could have known it now, but oh… the things Morris would  _ do.  _ The world really would be at his disposal. _

_ But today, they were just two men standing on the rocks. Well… a man and something close to a man, at least. _

_ “Tell me… when you finish whatever it is you’re planning, what’s going to happen?” Mikal raised an eyebrow at Morris’s words, but Morris could see right through his innocence. “I know it’ll be big… whatever it is, you’ve spent nearly a century getting ready.” _

_ “Who says I have  _ anything  _ planned?” _

_ Morris gave Mikal a long look.  _

_ Finally, Mikal let out a long sigh. He stretched an arm over his shoulder leisurely before turning to look back out at sea. “Well… maybe I do. But would you really like to know? I’ll tell you if you promise to stop being so nosy.” _

Nosy? That’s ironic, coming from you.  _ Morris nodded his head though, eager to hear Mikal out. _

_ “Well… it’s a little complicated.” Mikal crossed his arms. “You know the Goddess we worship, yea?” _

_ “Oh… yeah.” Morris wracked his brain. “Simon?” _

_ “Simulcia,” Mikal corrected. “Simulcia was a goddess of fate… her magic could pin down destiny as she pleased.” _

_ “Pin down?” _

_ “Fate is like the ocean. It’s like a rippling fabric in the wind. But Simulcia threw pins out over that fabric-” Mikal motioned his hand as an example. “Where each one landed… fate itself was fastened to that spot. Just a few points in time and space… that is the  _ Dyad.  _ My parents, those before them… and maybe those after them. Although, if everything goes according to plan, I doubt there will ever be another Dyad. But that’s not my decision to make. That pin has yet to fall, and I cannot stop it if it's destined to.” _

_ Morris was barely following at this point, but slowly but surely started to understand.  _ The power to manipulate fate itself? How strange. So, because of actions long ago, there are certain aspects of our future that cannot be changed?  _ “What does that have to do with your plan?” _

_ “You see… things have changed. Simulcia is long dead. The only way to access her consciousness is by linking up with other Simulcians. We were never meant to be separated. Our true state is  _ together.  _ Mikal weaved his fingers together. “But like I said, we’ve strayed from that path. We made contact with humans after millenia of isolation, and we  _ changed.  _ We’re becoming more like you… We no longer wish to be together. Maybe there’s some kind of value in our independence, but it is against Simulcia’s will.” _

_ A spark of anger slipped through Mikal’s eyes, barely visible among his pitch black gaze. _

_ “Humans… they want to drive us apart. I didn’t want that to happen. So… I will force Simulcia’s will upon everyone.” _

_ … _

_ … _

_ … _

Morris wasn’t sure why he walked away that day. Without asking Mikal more. He never asked again, and for some reason he didn’t try to stop whatever it was Mikal was trying to do. In any case, 20 years later, Mikal and his whole family disappeared without a trace, and a new Dyad was created in the Clover Kingdom.

_ Simulcia’s will? _

_ Is that… why Simulcians exist? To enact her will? _

But, in the end, wasn’t Simuclia’s will already enacted? In the form of fate?

_ What more is there to do… we are all slaves to fate. _

At least, that’s what Morris thought. The years passed, and the shape of his life squirmed and bent until it was unrecognizable. He took  _ sight,  _ he took  _ power,  _ he took  _ knowledge…  _ and he put it into his own hands. And now, the power of three devils dwelled within him as well.

_ Simulcia is dead… That much I know. _

Morris gazed up at the tree as it grew. Its branches cracked and groaned under their own enormous weight. Fueled by the two men trapped within their coffins, it towered up and up, breaking through the ceiling as it reached for the sky.

_ Fate is dead. The only two people bound to it now are the  _ Dyads. 

The castle rumbled as the fighting intensified. But Morris paid it no mind. He just stood there, his hands in his pockets, and stared up at the spectacle with two stolen eyes.

_ Now, we create the fate of the world with our own hands. And its fate is the Qliphoth.  _

An unearthly sound spread out over the scene, screams and creaks and a shrill, descending howl.

_ That’s it then… the first gate has opened. The dark triad will be up to 100% soon. The rebels are busy with the demon we released, and soon… the Clover Kingdom will know the wrath of the other. _

_ This time, there will be no one to save the world.  _

\--------------------------------------

Except, maybe there was. 

This time, my path leads north. Wind and rain and a dull rush of air course around my body as I take flight, my eyes watering slightly from the pressure. But it doesn’t matter; I keep flying.

Despite how overcast the day is, the sun is shining once again within my heart. Hope, love,  _ joy,  _ they all live there, and I can’t help but smile as I zoom towards what I hope will be the final battle of my life. Any wish to become a martyr, any wish to start over, any wish to give up everything, is gone. All that pumps through my veins is the determination to  _ win  _ and to  _ live. _

_ Because, now I know that there is still something to live for. _

Adeline, Marx, Joy, all my friends and family, they all deserve to see a brighter future. A future that I will create, not through destruction, but through  _ hope.  _

All I have to do is win this fight, save Yami and William, then go home to the family I can still salvage.

My final days, I’ll spend them with Adeline and Joy. That’s the only way it should be. Maybe I’ve committed sins that I will never atone for, but I still deserve to be happy in those final days.

_ BOOM. _

I’m suddenly pulled from my thoughts as a loud sound bellows through the air. Almost like thunder, but deeper, a sound that rattles the very earth. I slow down a little, then look to the side. My breath freezes in my chest for a brief moment as I see what it is: a giant, unearthly creature, higher than the tallest mountain. It has scraggly, thin wings that arch up over its body, and three glowing eyes in its head. 

_ No… it can’t be… _

It is none other than the creature of legend, a giant demon  _ god.  _ It ignores everything as it trudges forward slowly, just passing over the border of the Grand Magic region when I reach it. There are towns and settlements ahead that it will surely trample, but its glowing eyes are fixed on the tiny hill in the distance, the hill that holds the capitol, the castle, and the king.

There’s a couple of reasons that it could be here, but the most likely one is that the Spade Kingdom somehow summoned and released it here to cause as much damage as possible. But in the end, it doesn’t matter why it’s here.

_ All that matters is that it must be stopped. _

The fear, running like ice in my veins, starts to melt as both my hands heat up. Without another thought, I make a sharp turn in the air, and instead head right towards the horrible beast.

_ There’s not a second to lose…  _

I clench my fist, to keep my hand from shaking, but also to concentrate mana there. I release it in waves, traveling out and down my arm and into that fist. With a  _ spark,  _ it bursts into intense blue flame, numerals already spiraling around it. 

_ All this magic… all this power. Only part of it is mine. _

I squint my eyes a little, speeding up. One of the demon’s eyes catches onto my form.

_ Julius… and Patri. I can feel both of your wills within me. _

Julius, who I loved, and Patri, who I thought I hated.

_ No… not hated. _

Despite the memories of those horrible moments flooding back, I smile. Because, in the end, they both give me the strength to fight today. 

_ But it’s not just them. _

A crown glints upon my head, and a robe flares out behind me as I fly. For the first time in my life, they aren’t heavy. For the first time in my life, I feel like I  _ deserve them. _

_ I… I am the Wizard King!  _

Light starts to spark around my hand as I draw it back, charging up magic. The light starts to shine brighter and brighter, like the sun inching up and up over the horizon, bathing the world with warmth. With  _ hope. _

_ And for that reason, I have to protect my Kingdom.  _

The Demon turns its head toward me, opening its gaping, toothy mouth. An orb of demonic energy crackles within its maw, getting ready to shoot out at me with all its power. The sight of it does nothing to hurt my composure, and I open my own mouth to let out a yell. It spurs me on, and my body rockets towards the beast faster than I’ve ever managed before.

_ For that reason, I will protect this WORLD! _

I swing my fist, and finally release my first triple-attribute spell.

With a flash of light like a supernova, my fist connects. For a moment, there is no sound, but I can feel the entire world vibrate within my chest. 

The demon’s head basically implodes, its three eyes bursting apart as it’s hit. It doesn’t have time to roar or shriek; the ball of energy within it collapses, and it gets blown back across the border into the strong magic region. Its bottom half is still intact, and the trunklike feet  _ BOOM  _ once, then twice, then one last time as it stumbles backwards. Then, it falls, almost in slow motion.

But by this point, I am long gone. The dust from the impact billows up behind me as I just  _ keep flying,  _ making a beeline to the Spade Kingdom. The sound of the fall was enough to confirm my kill, and there isn’t a second more to lose. I don’t look back, just keep my eyes on the next objective ahead.

_ Yami and William, I’ll save you, no matter what! _

The snowy peaks beneath me are a blur, my eyes clouded by both adrenaline and the light that shines from them. My whole body feels like it's on fire, the thrill of that moment still coursing through me. Acceptance and determination cycles around each other, fueling my flight further and further. I’m not sure what I will find across the border, but whatever it is, I am ready to take it on.

_ My duty is to win, and to survive!  _

A few minutes later, something shifts in the atmosphere. Like a magnet, an unseen force tugs at my body, no, at my  _ soul. _ My eyes widen a little when I realize what it is. 

_ Something… is pulling my mana in. _

Then, I see it: the capital of Spade, almost completely destroyed by a sprawling mess of branches. I can feel the unnerving energy coming off of the wood already; this is no tree that exists in our world. This is the  _ Qliphoth.  _ There’s other presences here too- sending a familiar chill up my spine.

_ Devils… _

But, according to Nacht, the first gate wasn’t supposed to be open yet? Did they have some way to accelerate the growth?

_ It doesn’t matter. _

I clench my fist again, summoning more mana to replace that which was being sucked in by the tree. 

_ I’ll end it now, today. No more gates will be opened. And even if they do… _

The black mark upon my forehead tingles slightly, almost familiarly.

_ I will beat them. _

Right at the moment I summoned more mana, it was felt simultaneously by everyone below.

Nacht’s eyes widened as he stared ahead at the two twin Devils standing before him.  _ No way… you fool!  _ He wanted to look back towards the sky, but he couldn’t take his eyes off his foes, not now that the situation had turned so dire.  _ You’re just going to get yourself killed… there’s no way you’re in any condition to fight! _

Maybe that was the case. Maybe even moving was draining away my life faster than I could afford. But nothing will stop me from moving.

Morris’s smile falls for just a moment. He turns slowly to look up through the cracks in the ceiling.  _ The tree… it’s responding to a great source of mana… incoming… _

Then, he smiled.

_ This… this may be exactly what we need. It all depends on you three… _

At that exact moment, those “three” sensed me as well. From three different sections of the castle, wings of blood, wings of bone, and wings of flesh unfurled. Three pairs of eyes, crazed and fueled by the new surge of power within them, turned towards the sky.

“Finally…”

“How exciting!”

“I didn’t think we would meet on the battlefield…”

Dante’s sharp, elongated teeth curled into a malicious grin as he retracted his power from Jack, who he had been pummeling a moment ago. Lucifero’s power was up to 100% now, and he was ready to fight anything and  _ everything  _ he could. Morris assured them before this that the Wizard King would be out of commission, but here she was, very much alive, heading right towards him.

_ Right into the palm of his hand. _

With a loud, evil laugh, Dante shot up and away from the battle, towards the source of the presence. A strike from his fist burst right through the ceiling and let him escape into the cold night air. As soon as he was out, Dante looked to his left and right, spotting his siblings, who had the same idea. Vanica’s face was twisted into a sadistic grin, but Zenon remained composed; While Dante and Vanica had fun on their minds, Zenon was evaluating the very serious consequences that might come from their actions.

_ The tree reacted to her mana, I felt it too. If we can let it suck up more and more from her- _

It’s right then that I spot the trio heading towards me, black shadow streaming in their wake.  _ That’s them! That’s the Dark Triad!  _ My heart skips a beat, and I let my Grimoire flip open once again. It starts to glow, and power starts to accumulate in the palm of my hand. 

_ This is it, at last! _

Defeat these three, and we’ll win, I know it already. My mind starts to shut down, zeroing in on the imminent fight. Like a tunnel, all I can see is  _ them. _

_ Fight… fight them… WIN. _

I spread the fingers of my hand as I start to raise it. My feet swing down from behind me to slow my body down, bracing it for impact. Light starts to shine from my palm, and all at once it elongates into a broad, bright sword.

_ This is Patri’s sword… but… _

The light intensifies further, concentration. The light starts to thin and elongate further, into one, long blade. Just like an epee, the tip sharpens to a deadly extent, like a needle poised to pierce skin and flesh.

_ “Light magic: Judgement Day!” _

I finally clench my fist, grasping the handle of the sword. I tear my eyes away from its length and back towards the Triad. With a grin, I point my new spell at them. The mana around me solidifies under my foot, and with one mighty  _ push,  _ I lunge.

Moments before collision, Dante’s eyes catch onto the black mark on my head. And for a fraction of a second, something within him hesitates. 

_ That mark… how does she have that mark- _

The thoughts don’t catch up with his body, and he hurls himself at me with the fury of a typhoon.

None of us are prepared for the outcome of the next five minutes.


End file.
